Animal Uprising 2012

Crocodile Airplane Rampage

2010-10-21T22:59:00.000+02:00

Normally, crocodiles are known to eat people's faces, limbs, intestines, etc. That is how they kill you. Crocodiles are not normally known to bring down planes mid flight.

The plane came down despite no apparent mechanical problems during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

It has now emerged that the crash was caused by the concealed reptile escaping and causing a stampede in the cabin, throwing the aircraft off-balance.
A lone survivor apparently relayed the bizarre tale to investigators.
The crocodile survived the crash, only to be dispatched with a blow from a machete.
Danny Philemotte, the Dutch pilot and 62-year-old owner of the plane's operator, Filair, struggled in vain with the controls, with Chris Wilson, his 39-year-old First Officer from Shurdington, near Cheltenham, Glocs.
The plane was on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu when the incident unfolded, on August 25.
It crashed into a house just a few hundred feet from its destination. The occupants of the property were outside at the time.
According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag.
One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.
A report of the incident said: "The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."
The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot", said the report.

How this guy got a crocodile into a duffel bag, much less a carry on, is beyond my comprehension.

Frog Crossing?

2010-05-27T20:40:00.001+02:00

(AP) – 4 hours ago

THESSALONIKI, Greece — Thousands of frogs are still slowing traffic on a busy Greek highway, a day after a horde of them forced officials to close the road altogether.
Police said Thursday they were directing traffic around frogs on the Egnatia Highway about 20 kilometers (12.5 miles) outside Greece's second largest city, Thessaloniki.
The frogs, leaving a nearby lake to look for food, were expected to disrupt traffic through the weekend.
Police closed a section of the road Wednesday after three cars skidded off the road when the drivers tried to dodge the frogs.

"The Frogs, leaving a nearby lake to look for food ..." Thats cute. What they should have said was, "the Frogs, trying to get the hell out of Greece because the whole damn place is bankrupt, decided not to decimate the human population on their way out of town, and instead only decided on a show of force, proving how they can gridlock any human traffic or travel plans anywhere .. anytime ... "

Think that the frogs don't know better than the humans? See where everyone's worried the next major quake is going to hit, and what the frogs know about it ...

Shark Magic = Better Than Anything That No Talent Hack Criss Angel Could Ever Hope To Accomplish ...

2010-05-25T21:14:00.000+02:00

In open water, there is often no place to hide. Some sharks have overcome this problem by making themselves invisible to both prey and predators, according to a new study.
Light trickery permits the optical illusion, described in the current issue of the Journal of Experimental Marine Biology and Ecology. The findings represent the first experimental tests of shark luminescence.
Lead author Julien Claes explained to Discovery News that about 50 different shark species, or more than 10 percent of all known sharks, are luminous. This means they can produce and emit light from their bodies.
Click here to view a slide show about super shark senses.
Claes and his colleagues chose to focus on one particular luminous shark, nicknamed "the phantom hunter of the fjords": the velvet belly lantern shark.
This shark's shimmer originates from light emitting organs called photophores from underneath its body, "effectively creating a glow from that region," said Claes, a researcher in the Laboratory of Marine Biology, Earth and Life Institute at the Catholic University of Louvain.

"Since many predators have upward-looking eyes, it is a common method of camouflage in the mesopelagic zone (from 656 to 3,281 feet below the surface), although it is the first time it is demonstrated in sharks," he added. (Click for More Article) ...

Thats right ... that means Sharks can turn Mother F'in Invisible to you and me ... so, next time you're swimming, and your leg falls off in a bloody heap, you'll have no idea how it happened ... and the sharks love it that way ...

That picture up above? Thats a blank ocean ... just water ... because thats the last thing you'll see before you'll get your face bit in half ...

Monkeys on the Run - Now With Facebook

2010-03-25T23:33:00.000+01:00

Really ...

ST. PETERSBURG - In the hours after a monkey on the lam fell into a woman's pool and then swiped some fruit from her backyard tree, fans of the wily primate cheered it for avoiding capture.

"Go little monkey, go! No cages for you," wrote a guy named Jack on the "Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay" Facebook fan page. (There were more than 30,000 fans of the elusive monkey as of Wednesday evening.)

"I sure hope 'they' don't catch you!" wrote a woman named Kathleen. "Why can't 'they' just leave you alone?"

Why, indeed? The rhesus macaque monkey has avoided capture for nearly a year. Authorities don't know where the animal came from, but some believe it could have gotten separated from a troupe of wild monkeys in an Ocala-area state park, some 118 miles north of St. Petersburg. Another possibility: the animal could have escaped from an owner who doesn't have a permit and is therefore not registered with authorities.

The creature has captivated people in Tampa Bay and beyond -- possibly because of his ability to outwit the humans trying to catch him.

"It's something that you can kind of cheer for," said Amy Ellis, a Pasco County employee who has become a fan of the monkey on Facebook. "Every day there's so much bad news. He's kind of like a little hero."

The monkey was even featured two weeks ago on "The Colbert Report" with host Stephen Colbert poking fun at the creature, who has been shot numerous times with tranquilizers, apparently unfazed. One trapper claimed the monkey was becoming a "drug addict" because of all the shots.

Does no one see whats happening here? If one monkey can do it, then damn straight, gorillas, chimps, lions, elephants, and just about anything else can as well. And now the monkey has more 'friends' on facebook than people I've ever met in my life ... I mean WTF ???

Wildlife trapper Vernon Yates has tracked the monkey through three counties, and heard reports of it rummaging through trash bins, scaling the wall of an apartment complex and even hanging out by a pool behind a foreclosed home.

Yates swears it is the same monkey because of its size, coloring and behavior.

"He is an extremely intelligent monkey," Yates said. "He is very, very street-wise. He knows to check traffic."

If he catches it, Yates will have the animal tested for disease. If negative, the trapper will try to find the monkey a home, likely a private individual who has a permit to care for exotic wildlife. State wildlife officials are also serious about catching the evasive primate. "That animal is so much quicker and more powerful than people perceive," said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Dude, Yates ... its a monkey bro ... at this point in time, how are you even employed still employed? I hear everybody complaining about the democrats wasting money right now, but WTF are you Yates, but a drain on my taxes???

Check the Monkey's Facebook Page Here ...

The Immortal Invasion

2010-03-19T17:15:00.000+01:00

As if sharks, whales, piranhas, and other water-born terrors were not enough ... say hello to an animal demigod ...

The turritopsis nutricula species of jellyfish may be the only animal in the world to have truly discovered the fountain of youth.
Since it is capable of cycling from a mature adult stage to an immature polyp stage and back again, there may be no natural limit to its life span. Scientists say the hydrozoan jellyfish is the only known animal that can repeatedly turn back the hands of time and revert to its polyp state (its first stage of life).
The key lies in a process called transdifferentiation, where one type of cell is transformed into another type of cell. Some animals can undergo limited transdifferentiation and regenerate organs, such as salamanders, which can regrow limbs. Turritopsi nutricula, on the other hand, can regenerate its entire body over and over again. Researchers are studying the jellyfish to discover how it is able to reverse its aging process.
Because they are able to bypass death, the number of individuals is spiking. They're now found in oceans around the globe rather than just in their native Caribbean waters. "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion ," says Dr. Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute.

Slowly, and ever so surely, these immortal jellyfish will come to dominate the seas, stinging (and devouring) anything that sets foot in the water. Cabo San Lucas? Gone. Cancun? have fun spring breakers ... don't forget to sign your wills before you get on that plane ... Kneel before you sea gods!

Clearly, its the first step in limiting where the human population can run to during the Animal Uprising 2012 ... Now less than two years and counting!

Seeking Croc Farm

2010-01-27T00:31:00.001+01:00

THE UK’s first crocodile zoo could be built in West Oxfordshire.
Shaun Foggett — who keeps 24 crocodiles and alligators, which grow up to 4m long, at his Witney home — is looking to buy enough land to fulfil his dream.
He has set up website crocodilesoftheworld.co.uk to help with his search.
The 30-year-old joiner has been saving for the past two years, and has secured much of the £100,000 start-up-costs.
Mr Foggett said: “I have got the largest collection of crocodiles in the UK.
The crocodile zoo will be the first in the country, there is nothing else in the UK like it.
“Most places just carry one species of crocodile as they are not set up to handle anymore.”
He needs about 5,000 sqft, or more, to set up the enclosures, which will house three of the rarest crocodiles in the world. He said: “I have written to quite a lot of farmers and some of the bigger estates in and around the Witney area.
“Lots of people have been interested, but with not enough room.”

... Thats because they're not fucking retarded Mr. Fogget ...

If you've ever been to England, then you know the houses aren't the biggest places there, unless your first name is Queen, Duke, Prince, or some other royalty.

The fact that this guy has willingly placed 24 Crocodiles in his home can really only mean one of two things:

-1- The Crocs have mind control over him
or
-2- He's fucking retarded.

At Least his offspring have shown some sense ...

Mr Foggett lives with fiancee Lisa Green, 29, and children Billy, six, Louie, four, and eight-month-old Shania.
He keeps his unusual pets in outbuildings in the garden of his home in Bibury Close.
He said: “To be honest, the crocodiles have always been around since before the children were born, so it’s very normal to them.
“They show a bit of interest, but there is not a lot they can help me with because of the nature of the animals.

... And thats because they want to live to see 12 ... except for the 8 month old, who's just hoping to make it to her next breast feeding.

Fogget finishes this article out with a gem ...

“It’s also about educating people. People think these animals lie in rivers waiting to attack the next human walking past, but there is a lot more to them.”

Thats right Foggett ... you forgot to mention the lakes, ponds, streams, closets, and bathtubs that they wait in as well.

Idiots ...

The US Government Has a Plan to Defend Us ...

2010-01-26T00:36:00.000+01:00

When pilots or airport workers notice the presence of birds at BWI, one of the nation's 25 busiest airports, Smith is often the first to get the call. A 1995 graduate of Virginia Tech in wildlife biology, he is one of many USDA employees deployed to U.S. airports to coordinate efforts against birds and other species that can interfere with flights in the air or on the ground. Trained at college in attracting and conserving wildlife, Smith has had to learn on the job how to reverse those skills to repel and eradicate animals on BWI's 3,500-plus acres. According to Smith, who came to the airport in 2005, the collision of birds and planes is as old as aviation itself. "The Wright Brothers were the first folks to be involved in a bird strike," he said. At BWI, the risks are posed by a wide variety of species, ranging from bulky Canada geese to majestic herons and tiny starlings. The first line of defense is habitat control, Smith said. That means eliminating vegetation that would be attractive to birds - berry-bearing shrubs, for example. Another technique used at BWI, Smith said, is to build storm water management ponds that drain quickly, even after a heavy rain, so water birds are not attracted to the area. Airport officials also work with local landowners to eliminate risks on their property. "A lot of that work goes beyond the fence," Smith said. Smith said airport officials work diligently to destroy nests on or near the airport, noting, "We haven't had any Canada geese nesting here for more than five, six years." But Avian Enemy No. 1 at BWI, Smith said, are sea gulls - the most commonly struck species worldwide. They are especially numerous this time of year, he said, dropping in to dine on earthworms when the ground gets saturated. "Gulls like large open spaces and that's what an airport is," he said. At BWI, Smith said, most bird strikes occur at heights less than 500 feet - far lower than the 4,000 feet at which the US Airways jet hit a migratory flock over New York. That bird strike represented what aviators consider the worst possible scenario: hitting large birds in a large flock ...

Can we count on the government to protect us? Do we really think we have a chance?

Look, if the government takes it seriously enough to pay people to 'defend' our airports against animals, then you fools best not be questioning my logic ...

Returning to Duty ...

2010-01-26T00:28:00.000+01:00

I can't explain why I've been gone awhile in detail.

I will say that if you're involved in warning the public about a deadly impending doom (such as this blog here), and certain factions of the government want that kept from the public, well then you may be forced to go on a break ...

Not saying that I liked missing Christmas, but just sayin ...

Piranha Invasion of Florida ... Kid is Sad ...

2009-11-17T18:48:00.000+01:00

PALM SPRINGS — Now swimming in a pond near you: Ferocious razor-toothed predators direct from the Amazon River basin.
A boy fishing last month in a pond near his condo complex, at Arabian Road and Lake Arbor Drive, pulled from the water not the bass or catfish he was used to but a writhing, red-bellied piranha.
Ten days later, officials with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission combed the same pond and discovered a second piranha lurking beneath the surface. Investigators said the toothy fish probably were kept as pets, a crime punishable by a $1,000 fine in Florida, before their owners turned them loose.
In response, wildlife officers this morning were plying the roughly four-acre pond with rotenone fish poison, an "extreme measure" meant to kill off any piranha still hiding out there, said wildlife commission spokeswoman Gabriella Ferraro.
As a side effect, the effort also will kill every other fish living in the pond.
Which ruined Darrin Duchene's day. The Palm Springs man said his son, Jake, who angled the piranha on Oct. 13, grew up fishing the pond.
"He's come back with every strange fish there is," said Duchene, remembering times Jake turned up with peacock bass and a Jaguar Guapote, a fish native to Central America.
He recalled the day a month ago Jake caught the piranha.
"I was sitting in my chair and he came running in. He said he saw a bunch of minnows getting torn up. He cast his line in there and, boom, kind of snagged it in the top of the head," Duchene said. "He ran over and said, 'Dad! Dad! I caught a piranha!'"
"I said, 'No way.' "
But, peering down at the fish, Duchene had to admit it looked exactly like the ones he had seen on the Discovery Channel.
"We had him in a zip-lock bag, and he was flipping around for probably 20 minutes. He was a big, tough one," Duchene said.
They called the wildlife commission, and an officer came and "seized the piranha for further investigation," the officer's report said.
The Duchene's gave up the fish reluctantly.
"I wanted to keep it so I could get it mounted for him, because nobody has a piranha," Duchene said. "He said they might give it back to us."
As wildlife officers poisoned his pond this morning, Duchene said he regretted ever calling them.
"All the years of enjoyment, for them to come wipe out that place, that's freakin' tragedy," he said. "That is terrible. That'll break my son's heart."

Look, you may think that having a piranhan mounted on your wall is cool, and you may be the first kid on your block to do so, but lets look at the facts here:

-Piranhas are from the Amazon
-The Amazon is not in Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon somehow have made it to Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon made it into a pond in Florida

If Piranhas from the Amazon can find a way into your pond behind your house, then I do not want to have a Piranha on my wall when it finds a way into my freaking house ... and it will ... oh yes, it will ...

Buck Season ... Beware ...

2009-11-17T17:02:00.001+01:00

MOIRA — For a few terrifying minutes, a Moira man became prey for a disgruntled buck.
An attack by a 10-point buck Friday sent Gerald A. Dabiew, 56, to the emergency room, covered from head to toe with cuts and bruises. Mr. Dabiew — who doesn't even hunt — was attacked for several minutes by the buck behind his house on Best Road.
"It seemed like hours," Mr. Dabiew said.
He was treated for his injuries and released from the hospital, but still was sore Monday, covered in bruises and scratches but with no broken bones.

His home is isolated and surrounded by woods, and Mr. Dabiew said he has seen deer in the area, but none has come close to him. So on Friday, as he was loading wood into a bucket behind his house, he didn't think twice as he spotted the buck across the road, watching it as he finished his work.
"He stepped on the road, he looked at me, and the next thing I know, he was coming right at me," he said. "He got me down on the ground, and it was then I knew that he really wanted to kill me."
For several minutes, Mr. Dabiew fought the buck, which tried to flip him over several times as he wrapped his legs around the animal's neck and held on to its horns.
The buck kept him pinned and pounded him into the ground, holding him there so he couldn't move. When Mr. Dabiew tried to wrestle himself loose, the buck would ram him again, he said.
"But I wasn't letting go of him," he said.
The buck injured Mr. Dabiew's hand and body with its horns, although the horns didn't puncture his body, and kicked him on the jaw.
"I've got bruises from head to toe," he said. "He picked me up in the air and pounded me into the ground."
During the ordeal, Mr. Dabiew, who was home alone, said he hollered for help until his throat went dry as he continued to battle the animal. Without the adrenaline pulsing through his veins, he said, he never would have lasted as long as he did. Even then, by the end of the fight his arms had lost all their strength.
The buck tried one last time to turn him over, but Mr. Dabiew, who describes himself as "a good-sized guy," broke loose and managed eventually to kick the animal, causing it to back off and run away.
"I don't know why he came around. All I was doing was throwing wood," he said. "I'm not even a hunter."
Mr. Dabiew said the sound of the wood hitting his bucket could have sounded like deer horns being hit together, a strategy hunters often use to lure deer.
No matter what the cause, deer attacks are uncommon, but not unheard of.
"This is breeding season for whitetails, and they get pretty aggressive, usually with other bucks," said wildlife biologist Ed Reed of the state Department of Environmental Conservation Region 5 office. "They have been known to attack people. If he sees something moving, he feels like it's somebody encroaching on his territory."
In fact, people are more likely to be attacked by a deer than a bear, which more people fear but which attack extremely rarely.
Mr. Reed said people should not be concerned for their safety in light of Friday's attack against Mr. Dabiew. He said Mr. Dabiew's theory about why the buck attacked could be correct, as the sound of wood hitting a bucket would have simulated the "sound of bucks fighting."
Mr. Dabiew said he certainly didn't consider deer to be dangerous animals — until Friday.
"It changed my way of thinking," he said. "I took an awful pounding; I know that."

Wow ... WTF ??? Sorry Gerald, but you've been made an example of ... I would really spend the rest of my time warning people not to hunt deer, because after centuries of this hunting crap, and the last decade or so of truck nut laden rednecks with orange vests and camo gear (really? cmon now ... ), the bucks are about f*ckin sick of it, and I don't blame em. The deer are about to rain down some hard core retribution on our asses ...

You have been warned.

Jellyfish (Again ... Yes, Same Thing we've been preaching)

2009-11-17T16:45:00.001+01:00

Kokonogi, Nov 17 (THAINDIAN NEWS) Nomura is the world’s largest jellyfish and its poison can kill the other fish very fast. It normally used to stay in the ocean but are now a common occurrence along Japan’s coastline and a big cause for worry for the fishermen. This may be due to the fact that global warming has in turn affected the overall temperature of the oceans and has allowed some of the almost 2,000 jellyfish species to expand their geographical ranges, appear earlier in the year and increase their overall population as well.
‘The gelatinous seaborne creatures are blamed for decimating fishing industries in the Bering and Black seas, forcing the shutdown of seaside power and desalination plants in Japan, the Middle East and Africa, and terrorizing beachgoers worldwide’, the U.S. National Science Foundation says.
“Some fishermen have just stopped fishing,” said Taiichiro Hamano, 67. “When you pull in the nets and see jellyfish, you get depressed.”
Lucas Brotz, a researcher from the University of British Columbia, told AP, “These increases in jellyfish should be a warning sign that our oceans are stressed and unhealthy.”
Japanese fisherman Fumio Oma and his hard working crew are now out of work after their fishing net broke under the weight of thousands of jellyfish. He told the media that, “We have been getting rid of jellyfish. But no matter how hard we try, the jellyfish keep coming and coming. We need the government’s help to get rid of the jellyfish.”

Japan's only hope ... Mothra ... thats right, freakin Mothra ...

Japan needs to awaken Mothra from whatever island Mothra is on, and ask Mothra to save them from the onslaught of the jellyfish.

Spanky the Llam (With Video!)

2009-11-17T16:39:00.000+01:00

BLUM, Texas - James Steele knew llamas were ornery, but he never expected "Spanky" to attack him.
"I knew they'd spit on you, run into on their back legs and knock you down," said the 59-year-old Hill County resident, "but I'd never had one physically try to hurt me, bite me. That sucker did hurt me."
Steele has the physical proof: he's on crutches now, with 700 stitches embroidering his right lower leg.
Last week he and a friend were in a field near his home in the town of Blum, about 90 miles southwest of Dallas.
They were checking on his goats when a neighbor's llama got in the way. Steele tried to shoo away the normally gentle 8-foot-tall animal.
He figures his actions caused the creature to snap.
"He was on them hind legs, had them front legs up and he hit me and knocked me down, and after that the lights kinda went out," Steele remembered.
"They say he grabbed me by the leg and shook me and throwed me about ten feet."
Friend Terry Flowers saw what was happening and found the first weapon he could to help.
"I grabbed that pipe and jumped the fence and just started hittin' on him just to get him off of him," said Flowers.
The llama's owner ended up shooting and killing the animal. Rabies tests came back negative.
The attack was especially dangerous for Steele, who is on blood thinner medication and is awaiting a heart transplant.
The animal's behavior is puzzling to everyone.
"Their grandchildren rode on this llama. Why do you think this would do that?" said Robbie Steele, the victim's wife. "I don't know if it just didn't like him, or if it was having a bad day."

Bad Day? You fuckin betcha!

Sure sign of things to come folks. Llamas on the hunt ... From Wikipedia:
Llamas which are well-socialized and trained to halter and lead after weaning are very friendly and pleasant to be around. They are extremely curious and most will approach people easily. However, llamas that are bottle-fed or over-socialised and over-handled as youngsters will become extremely difficult to handle when mature, when they will begin to treat humans as they treat each other, which is characterized by bouts of spitting, kicking and neck wrestling. Anyone having to bottle-feed a cria should keep contact to a minimum and stop as soon as possible.
When correctly reared spitting at a human is a rare thing. Llamas are very social herd animals, however, and do sometimes spit at each other as a way of disciplining lower-ranked llamas in the herd. A llama's social rank in a herd is never static. They can always move up or down in the social ladder by picking small fights. This is usually done between males to see who becomes alpha. Their fights are visually dramatic with spitting, ramming each other with their chests, neck wrestling and kicking, mainly to knock the other off balance. The females are usually only seen spitting as a means of controlling other herd members.

Essentially, the Llama basically thought 'I'm yo alpha male bitch' and tried to end this guy ... and probably would have succeeded if not for the 12 guage.

Beware the petting zoos folks ...

Kangaroos F*ck Up Austrialia

2009-11-05T21:08:00.003+01:00

Oh, the Irony ...

Sorry Thargo ...whatever, but looks like another human stronghold has fallen to the Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Hippos Strike the Human Food Supply

2009-11-05T17:31:00.000+01:00

Hippopotami have over the weekend destroyed some rice fields at Brook Rice farm in Upper Fulladu District, Central River Region (CRR) south.

Speaking to our reporter in CRR, Yai Suwareh, a victim from Draman, said the hippopotami have destroyed all her produce and left her in a desperate situation. According to her, she has paid five hundred dalasis for the ploughing of the field and transplanting the seedlings all which went in vain now that the hippos have destroyed all what she was expecting from the farm.

Nuimi Drammeh of Burko said the rice fields destroyed by the hippos is a source of their livelihood while indicating that the hippo menace is becoming rampant in the area. The fact remains that the population of the hippos are increasing rapidly and so is the land under cultivation causing inevitable confict of interest. Njonkolin Touray of the same village expressed similar sentiment.

'The Hippo Menace is Becoming Rampant' ... Is it that they are hungry, or isn't the better explanation that they are fighting back ...

Africa ... You're F*ckin Out!

Lizard ... Destroyer of Worlds ...

2009-11-05T16:46:00.000+01:00

Just a quick shot this morning ... This guy believes now ...

Coyotes Hate Music

2009-11-04T19:59:00.000+01:00

Pretty Tragic right here ...

Taylor Mitchell, 19, died yesterday as a result of injuries sustained in a Coyote attack on the Skyline Trail in Cape Breton Highlands National Park , Nova Scotia, Canada. Taylor, a folk singer-songwriter from Toronto, was hiking alone when two coyotes attacked her. Her cries for help alerted other hikers who then called emergency services. Although police shot and wounded one of the Coyotes, both animals initially escaped and one remains at large. Taylor was in critical condition when she was airlifted by helicopter to Queen Elizabeth II Health Sciences Centre in Halifax. Sadly, her injuries were so severe that she passed away on Wednesday morning.

Taylor Mitchell , a vibrant young artist with remarkable vocals, was recently nominated in the category of “2009 Young performer of the year” by the Canadian Folk Music Awards (CFMA). Taylor had just begun an East-Coast tour to promote her debut album, “For Your Consideration ,” and her stunning vocals prompted Exclaim magazine to comment, “When George Bernard Shaw so famously noted that youth was wasted on the young, he hadn’t heard Taylor Mitchell sing.”

Coyote attacks are extremely rare. Indeed, in the USA there has only been one documented death attributed to a Coyote in the last three centuries. In 1981, a young toddler in Glendale, California was killed by a coyote as a consequence of her parents feeding the animal on a regular basis. The Coyote (Canis Latrans) with its distinctive brown coat and white belly is found in all forty-nine continental states - there are large Coyote populations in both Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks.Although the Coyote usually hunts at night, it can become habituated to humans and can be extremely aggressive, especially if it is fed by humans either deliberately or accidentally, notably via trash cans and scraps left behind on picnic tables.

What Makes this even scarier is that there is NO RABIES THEORY involved in this story whatsoever ...

LOUISBOURG, N.S. — Experts have determined that a coyote believed to be involved in a shocking attack on a young hiker on a Cape Breton trail was neither diseased nor hungry.
Parks Canada staff tracked and destroyed a coyote last Tuesday, hours after Taylor Mitchell, a folksinger from Toronto, was mauled by two of the animals in Cape Breton Highlands National Park.
The 19-year-old later died in a Halifax hospital.
The federal agency said the Atlantic Veterinary Centre has done tests on the coyote and preliminary results suggest it was involved in the attack on the Skyline Trail, which remained closed Monday.
"There's no evidence of rabies or other disease or any other physical element of the animal that might have led to this attack," said Chip Bird, a field unit superintendent with Parks Canada in Cape Breton.
Bird said the coyote was a 14-kilogram adult female in "really healthy shape." There was also evidence that the coyote had food in its system.
"This was not a hungry or starving animal," he said.
There have been a number of theories as to why the coyotes attacked Mitchell as she hiked alone on the popular trail. Coyotes are considered shy animals that are typically fearful of humans.
Some experts have suggested the coyotes were young, inexperienced and unafraid of humans. Others have theorized the animals were diseased.
Bird said Parks Canada staff are talking to other wildlife experts in hopes of determining what happened.
Meanwhile, the search continues on the Skyline Trail and other trails nearby for the second coyote involved in the attack.

Jellyfish('s) Sink a Freakin Boat

2009-11-04T19:13:00.001+01:00

We can't make this stuff up folks ...

Dozens of giant jellyfish have reportedly capsized a 10-tonne fishing boat in Japan.

According to Sky News, the incident occurred off the eastern coast of Japan when the Diasan Shinsho-maru boat tried to haul in a net full of the creatures, The Mainichi Daily News reports.

All of the craft's three-man crew were thrown overboard into the sea before being rescued by another trawler near Chosi.

It is feared that water and weather conditions have conspired to help the breeding of the creatures, which can weigh up to 440lbs and grow up to 6ft in diameter.

Hiroshima University Professor Shinichi Ue told Yomiuri: "The arrival is inevitable. A huge jellyfish typhoon will hit the country."

INEVITABLE Japan ... you guys are so f*cked!

Just About Sums It Up Right Here

2009-11-04T19:09:00.002+01:00

No Idea what the story is behind this gem of a pic, but if you're a believer like us, then this should be about the most terrifying pic you will ever see ... ever ...

Just TONS of Updates, so Sorry for the Overload !!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-04T19:07:00.001+01:00

So behind Everybody ... and there are TONS of uprising stories to report on!

Its Coming ... be patient!

Bear Mugs Hiker For iPhone

2009-10-12T23:36:00.000+02:00

The "geniuses" at the Apple Store in Vermont have probably run into all sorts of excuses for broken iPhones , but they just didn't believe Kris Rowley. "A bear ate my iPhone," she told them.
This summer, Rowley was hiking in the woods of Vermont when she felt a predator's eyes following her. Rowley stopped dead in her tracks. A young bear slowly emerged from behind an evergreen tree. Rowley, CISO for the State of Vermont, knows about facing down malware—not avoiding a mauling.

Bears love iPhones, too.

Rowley backed away slowly, the bear followed slowly. Then Rowley had a funny thought: I wonder what is its motivation? Curiosity? She quickly decided that it wasn't really important. She backed away a little faster, the bear followed a little faster.
Rowley went through her mental list of how to prevent bear attacks. Play dead? A good last resort. Pepper spray? Didn't have it. Drop a backpack to distract the bear? She wasn't wearing one. All Rowley had was her iPhone.
She could use one of her lifelines and phone a friend. Or maybe there was an anti-bear app among the 80,000 apps on the App Store. There's Battle Bears, Bears on a Wire, Bear Beware, Chicago Bears, Go Bears!, My Teddy Bears, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The bear closed within 30 feet. "In a semi-panic, I threw the phone at the bear," Rowley says.
Turns out the bear was an Apple fanboy.
The bear sniffed and pawed at the iPhone, as Rowley briskly made her exit. Apparently, Rowley was not too concerned that her iPhone was now in the possession of a dangerous teenager and considered a data security breech.
Two days later, armed with a baseball bat, Rowley returned to the scene of the crime. She wanted her iPhone back—and found it. Of course, it was marred with teeth and claw marks.
Rowley figured the good folks at Apple would understand and help her out. Heck, they might even applaud the iPhone's new application for self-defense. Alas, they didn't believe her. (If Apple doesn't believe the CISO of the state of Vermont, then the rest of us don't stand a chance.)
"I had to buy a new phone or forfeit my contract if I canceled, so I purchased a new phone at full price," Rowley says, although she doesn't seem too mad about it. "While saddened about my mangled iPhone, better the phone than me."

Add to the list of things the iPhone can do, Animal Uprising 2012 Defender App ... good only once, the Animal Uprising 2012 App can be used to fend off the animal of your choice ... warning, this app has not been tested on elephants, rhinos, hippos, or big cats.

In other news, the 'giant dickhead of the week award' goes to ... (drum roll) ... the douche behind the counter at the apple store who wouldn't replace this ladies phone in exchange for all the free pub they're getting out of this! He's probably related to the chachbag that wouldn't exchange my iphone with the broken switches after telling me I had 'moisture damage' ...

dicks ...

Bees Hate Soccer

2009-10-12T23:27:00.000+02:00

The World Cup qualifier between Mexico and El Salvador had to be temporarily halted when a swarm of bees invaded a goalmouth at the Azteca Stadium.

The match was barely three minutes old when the bees took refuge inside the goalposts at the EL Salvador end.
Play was held up for around six minutes as officials used fire extinguishers to clear the insects.
Mexico went on to win the match 4-1 to secure a place in the 2010 World Cup finals in South Africa.
The Mexicans will finish their Concacaf campaign away to Trinidad and Tobago on Wednesday.

Apparently, Mexican bees don't like El Salvador. That, or Mexican soccer, tired of losing to the US over and over, has found a way to train animals to help them cheat. Either way, the animals come out winners in this one ... until they get doused in anti-bee stuff from Mexico. And BTW ... Mexican anti-bee stuff is also known as a 'fire extinguisher' in the US. Crazy huh?

The game was delayed for about 10 minutes while the bees were sprayed with fire extinguishers, and play resumed shortly thereafter. IMO, the only fair thing to do would have been to play the first half with the bees in the goal, then go ahead and let the second half start when the teams switched sides. Would have been WAAAYYYY more interesting to watch that way, and both teams would have been equal!

Long Video, but you get the jist of it ... there are bees, El Salvador is scared, Mexicans try to douse them with a fire extinguisher.

Animals Hate Golfers

2009-10-09T22:28:00.006+02:00

WTF ?!?!?!?

A common complaint about golf is that a round at a nice course cancost an arm and a leg. Unfortunately for one man, that complaint hasbecome more than a metaphor.

A 77-year-old man lost his arm below the elbow on Thursday when he wasattacked by an alligator while playing golf on Fripp Island, the IslandPacket reported on its Web site.Theman, who was playing the 11th hole of the island's Ocean Creek GolfCourse, leaned down to pick up his ball when a 10-foot long alligatorgrabbed his arm, said Kate Hines, general manager of the Fripp IslandProperty Owners Association, according to the report.Thealligator then dragged the man into a nearby pond and went into aseries of "death rolls," a technique it uses to tear apart its food,Hines told the paper. That was when the man lost his arm.The man's golf buddies were able to free him from the alligator's grasp and called 911, according to the report.Tracksworker killed the alligator and performed a necropsy on it to removethe man's arm from the animal's digestive track, Hines told the paper.The arm was stored in a cooler in the hopes of re-attaching it. The man's condition was still unknown late Thursday night.

Wow, this hits home ... I f**kin love golf. The other day, I saw a huge turtle go into the pond at my local muni. I think I'd flip shit if I saw something like this. Jeezus, I mean ... think about this. The gator knew the guy hit a bad shot into the pond. They Learn this stuff! People hit bad shots all the time! I mean, not me, so I have nothing to worry about ... And hell, if my dog knows where we keep the food, you can bet your sweet golfing ass that a gator can figure this stuff out. That gator waited for the guy to go try and get his ball, and then decided to eat him. I mean, holy cow ...All that aside, I will be asking for one of these for Christmas ...

Farmers Under the Control of Cows

2009-10-07T18:45:00.000+02:00

BRUSSELS — After months of complaints by European dairy farmers angry over low prices, protesters in Brussels on Monday poured milk onto the streets, hurled eggs and other missiles, and started fires that filled the air with black smoke.
Police helicopters hovered overhead as hundreds of tractors — and some cattle — blockaded the area outside the European Union ’s headquarters while agriculture ministers met in an emergency meeting.
The gathering of ministers, convened after pressure from France, failed to produce any breakthroughs apart from a decision to set up a committee to report on the dairy industry in June.
Monday’s protest was the latest by farmers who dumped around three million liters of milk on fields in Belgium last month.
“There’s a very serious crisis in the milk sector,” said the Swedish agriculture minister, Eskil Erlandsson, who headed Monday’s discussion. “We didn’t take any decisions today, but we identified areas where the future policy needs to concentrate on.”
The protest organizers, the European Milk Board, said that more than 1,000 tractors and 5,000 people took part on behalf of “more than 80,000 dairy farmers”.
The group said milk prices are below 75 percent of production costs. Another European farm union organization, Copa-Cogeca, says that milk prices have plummeted 30 percent in a year and that dairy producers will lose up to 14 billion euros before the end of the year if nothing is done.
The European Commission , however, said that the average milk price increased slightly in the last two months and that the price of butter and skimmed milk powder had risen 7 to 9 percent in three months.
The commission said it expected to spend up to 600 million euros supporting butter and skimmed milk prices this year and proposed to continue this policy throughout the winter.
In recent years the European Union has sought to reform its subsidy system and aims to phase out milk quotas, which limit production, by 2015.
Some 20 of the 27 countries in the European Union have called for changes that would give producers the ability to organize more effectively so as to increase their clout in dealing with supermarket chains and dairy companies.
Other critics want more export subsidies and some would like to keep the quotas — though that has been ruled out by the European Commission.
Harald von Witzke, professor of international agricultural trade and development at Humboldt University in Berlin, said the protests were the symptom of the pain caused by a gradual reform of rigid controls on the dairy sector.
“The system has postponed the pain being felt, but now the pain is even greater,” he said adding that making concessions to the farmers “would make matters worse in the long run.”

Clearly, European Cows have found a way to control their 'masters'.

Farmers and Cows alike are quite pissed that their natural white gold is not worth nearly as much as it has been in the past, and are therefore rioting against the system. I'd be pissed too if my most valuable asset (besides my ass on a bun) was no longer valuable, or deemed replaceable. Seriously here, shouldn't the cows be rioting against Soybeans to prevent Soy Milk production, or better yet, against their own kind for pumping out this Lactose Free crap? And Cheese? Pshshhhhsssaaaa ... who needs cheese when you can just pay an arm and a leg, and a sirloin, and a rump roast for the real deal, valuable, white creamy goodness of milk.

In other news, I had Five Guys Hamburgers last night, which is freakin awesome. Word is they have recently scored a great deal on European Beef ...

Reindeer (Insert random Rudolph, and/or Christmas Song joke here)

2009-10-05T20:13:00.000+02:00

An angry reindeer knocked down its Cambridgeshire owner and trampled her after running loose near a road, an ambulance service spokeswoman said.

Kay Davies was reportedly leading the animal to a pen at Churchfield Farm, Whittlesey, when the incident happened.
Ms Davies owns the firm Wedding Horses, which supplies horses and reindeer for weddings and Christmas parties.
She was taken to hospital suffering head, chest and leg injuries. The reindeer was put to sleep by a vet.
'Urgent back-up'
A spokeswoman for the East of England Ambulance Service said: "We were called at 1142 BST on Tuesday.
"Reports were of a reindeer on the loose and, initially, that the woman had injuries to her head, chest, groin, legs and ribs, but these turned out to be superficial.
"The crew needed to call for urgent back-up, as the animal was very angry and wouldn't let them near the patient.
"But it was eventually captured and the woman treated at the scene.
"She was later conveyed to hospital."
A Cambridgeshire Police spokesman said: "The animal was running loose near to the road and was thought to belong to a nearby farm.
"Officers found the reindeer and called a vet, who put the animal to sleep."

As I write this from my bunker, deep underground, I can't help but think; This is so freakin ridiculous, I don't even know if I can do it justice with my commentary. A freakin reindeer turned on its owner, and people STILL deny the existence of the Animal Uprising 2012.

What the hell more can I say? You people are doomed ...

(Insert another random Christmas Joke here)

Racoon Horror

2009-10-05T19:38:00.003+02:00

Lakeland, Florida-- A Lakeland woman is recovering from serious injuries in the hospital after sheriff's investigators say she was "gang attacked" by five raccoons Saturday afternoon.
Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd says 74-year-old Gretchen Whitted was trying to shoo the animals away from her front door when they suddenly attacked.
"When she fell down, they enveloped her," said Sheriff Judd in a news conference called Sunday to warn the public of the aggressive raccoons.
"She's literally bitten and scratched from face and the chest all the way down through the legs."
Raccoons are known to be aggressive when going after food, but the sheriff called Saturday's attack very unusual.
"Not in all my years in Florida have I known of a gang attack by raccoons on an individual," Sheriff Judd said.
Christy Steinmetz lives next door to Whitted and ran across the street when she heard her neighbor's screams.
"I've never seen anything like it," Steinmetz said of the attack and her neighbors deep wounds. "They were deep lacerations. You could see flesh."
Sheriff Judd called a news conference Sunday to warn parents in the Lakeland neighborhood about the potential danger.
"They've attacked once. If someone frightens them, will they attack again?" Judd asked.
Polk County Animal Control officers fanned out, placing traps across the neighborhood, in hopes of finding the raccoons involved.
"Even if we capture a lot of raccoons [Sunday night], we can't be sure they are our suspect raccoons," Sheriff Judd said.
If caught, the animals will be killed to see whether they are rabid.

And of course ... Rabies Theory.

Apparently, a gang of Racoons 'gang attacked' an old lady in Florida. Lets be at least somewhat honest and grateful it wasn't a racoon gang bang, althought that is completely possible as well.

Here is some fair and simple advice for all you folks when faced with the threat of Racoon mauling; A - Don't bother the racoons, and B - Don't fall Down.

The reality of this is, the woman did something to provoke the racoons in their eyes, and the racoonns fought back. In all their years they haven't seen something like this? Thats because all of their years have never led up to the Animal Uprising 2012.

What I love best about this is that they make a point in the story to state that even if they do catch racoons, they won't be sure if they were the racoons involved. I was hoping they would take it at least a step further, and promise to play good cop/bad cop on the racoons. I figure with a little coaxing, the racoons will break, and rat their buddies out. I see it on 'Law and Order' all the time ... Maybe this town should hire Vincent D'Onofrio to come in and morally degrade the racoons until they confess ...

Or better yet, lets catch Racoons and massacre them (as suggested above), because that won't piss off the rest of the Racoon community or anything.

Idiots ...

Duh ...

2009-10-05T19:33:00.001+02:00

And, but of course ... another not so surprising news story involving a bear ... this doesn't start (or end) well ...

A northeastern Pennsylvania woman, whose husband is an exotic pet dealer operating on an expired license, was mauled to death by a black bear over the weekend. Authorities say Kelly Ann Walz, 37, of Ross Township in Monroe County, was attacked by her 350 pound pet bear while cleaning its cage at about 5 p.m. Sunday. Walz had reportedly thrown a shovelful of dog food to one side of the cage to distract the bear while she cleaned the other side, but the animal turned on her and attacked. Walz's children and the neighbor's children saw the attack and summoned help, and the neighbor shot and killed the bear while it was atop Walz, said Tim Conway, an information and education supervisor with the Pennsylvania Game Commission. "Why this woman chose to go in the same area that the bear was in is beyond me. It's a fatal mistake," he said. "These things are not tame animals, they're wild animals." Owners of wild animals typically have a two-section cage, allowing them to isolate the animal behind a locked gate while they clean the other part, Conway said. Conway said Walz's husband, Michael, had a license to keep and sell exotic animals, but it expired in June of 2008. He called the lapse a technicality. Walz, who has been licensed since 1994, reported to authorities in 2007 that he kept a lion, cougar, jaguar, tiger, black bear, leopard and two servals on the property in Ross Township, a rural area in the Pocono Mountains, about 20 miles northeast of Allentown. The incident remains under investigation.

Why is this news again? Bears and people simply do not mix. Unless you moonlight as 'The Hulk', or some other superhero gifted with well above human average strength and healing abilities, there is zero reason to willingly be this close to a bear.

I love how 'Exotic Pet' dealer is interchangeable with 'Seller of animals that should either be left alone in the wild, or if you must have them, in a freakin zoo'. This list of 'Exotic Pet' dealings reads something similar to my revolving top ten list of 'Animals I want to be nowhere near when the Animal Uprising 2012 occurrs ...'

(Also, that is a picture of a Serval not a bear, because I had no idea what a Serval was until I read this and looked it up. Apparently, these are real popular with people to keep as pets, because they have some sort of death wish.)

You have been warned ...

Deep 'Elephant Attack' Thoughts ...

2009-09-30T05:21:00.000+02:00

A man from West Yorkshire who was gored by an elephant while holidaying in Kenya has described how he played dead to escape the ordeal.

Wonderful. Another brilliant tale of how we as humans think we have a chance against the animals ... and away we go ...

Jonathan Sykes, 24, from Cleckheaton, was in a group with a guide when the animal charged at them.

Imagine that; an animal defending its territory ... If someone comes to my house, I don't charge, I shoot ... Good thing elephant hooves can't pump a 12 gauge ...

As the elephant caught him he said: "I just dropped and curled up into a ball hoping it would leave me alone".

(English Accent) ... please sir, please mista eleefaunt ... please leave me alones here ...

During the attack the elephant pierced Mr Sykes's leg, causing him to lose five pints of blood.

And of course, is anyone surprised that the English put the volume blood loss in drinking terms so its easy to understand ...

Mr Sykes and eight others had just arrived at their camp when their guide suggested they should go to look at an elephant which was nearby.

Way to go 'guide' ... that guy deserves a bonus ...

They saw the animal which then disappeared into bushes.

Magic!!!

... but wait for it ...

"This noise started behind the bush and it just came running out, just charging out at me basically", Mr Sykes said.

Basically? Do you think this was random Mr. Sykes?

The group fled but the elephant followed Mr Sykes.
"It was really strange, lots of decisions were being made in my head really quickly", he said.

What the hell were you deciding? What makes you think you could decide anything?

"Well, I've decided not to get dead today."
Elephant: "you have no say in that."
"But, I've decided it ..."
Elephant: "And I should care about this because, why?"

How about you decide to stay locked up in your bedroom rather than venture out into the front lines of the Animal Uprising 2012. I mean, really, is this even newsworthy? A guy went sneaking up on an elephant, and he gets attacked by said Elephant. Really? Really? This is a surprise to you?

"I decided to run off to the side and start zig zagging because with the elephant being larger it can't turn as quick as a human."

... Brilliant Deduction ... really ... brilliant ...

Elephants can reach top speeds of about 25mph and Mr Sykes said that after running for around 20m (65ft) the animal caught up with him.

... so brilliant, the big slow elephant still caught your ass ...

The attack left Mr Sykes needing stitches and walking with crutches although he is expected to make a full recovery.
"I can't blame the elephant for what it's done", he said. "I just won't be going as close to them in the future."

Of course you can't blame the elephant for what its done, because God knows, Animals wouldn't mean to intentionally revolt and attack humans ... right?

... Idiots ...

Monkey Business

2009-09-16T22:17:00.003+02:00

BOSTON – Two movie-star monkeys and crew members of the Adam Sandler film "The Zookeeper" are among the 300 guests who were evacuated from a Boston hotel after carbon monoxide alarms went off.

Fire Department spokesman Steve MacDonald says a small boiler leak at the luxury Liberty hotel prompted elevated readings at around 9:30 a.m. Wednesday. He says the leak was fixed early afternoon and no one was hurt.

Liberty spokesman Jim Treadway says the hotel has also hosted the non-animal stars of "The Zookeeper," but none slept over Wednesday. He declined to drop names.

"The Zookeeper" made headlines earlier this month when a teenage boy fell into a lion pit at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston that was part of the movie set. No animals were in the area, and the boy was not badly hurt.

Apparently, the monkeys decided it was their time to strike, and they chose to do so by manipulating Carbon Monoxide levels in the hotel. Fortunately for 300 lucky humans, the monkey plan was foiled.

"Curses" said the monkeys ...

The Animal Uprising 2012 Has a Sense of Humor

2009-09-15T20:21:00.005+02:00

Nothing to say here, but 'really?'

Jessica Simpson is not having a good year.

After dealing with criticism regarding her fluctuating weight and then splitting with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo in July, the singer is now dealing with the hardest news to date – her beloved dog Daisy is missing.

Simpson announced on Twitter Monday night that her furry best friend was recently snatched by a coyote right in front of her.

"My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes," tweeted Simpson. "HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!"

Fans and fellow dog owners expressed sympathy to the 29-year-old singer, who reportedly has been searching for Daisy in her Los Angeles neighborhood.

"We heard yelling and screaming coming from the direction of Jessica's house around 9pm," a neighbor told the Daily Mail. "I can only imagine that it was that moment that it happened because the next day we saw posters up around the neighborhood announcing that Jessica had lost her dog to a coyote. It's so sad."

Simpson’s brother-in-law, Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz, sent his well wishes to the distraught singer on Twitter, writing, "keep your head up. Were thinking of you."

Simpson, who was just in Rio de Janeiro shooting her VH1 reality show "The Price of Beauty," was given Daisy as a gift from her ex-husband Nick Lachey several years ago.

The adorable caramel-colored Malti-poo (a Maltese and poodle mix) was constantly at her side, often being toted around in designer doggie-bags.

Wow ... 'It' Knows ...

Here's the TWITTER Post ...

Hippos Bring Down the Judgement

2009-09-13T06:23:00.003+02:00

Don't break the law around Hippos ...

KINSHASA — A hippopotamus killed a member of Democratic Republic of Congo government forces at Virunga National Park while he was fishing illegally, a local environmental NGO said Saturday.

Bantu Lukamba of the IDPE non-governmental organisation told AFP that Private Sebagendi was killed Thursday when he was fishing along with five other people on Lake Edward in spite of a fishing ban.

"As he could not swim he was devoured by the hippo which had earlier overturned their boat," he said adding that the incident was the first of its kind in the park which covers an area of 790,000 hectares (1.95 million acres).

Usually, "they (the military) shoot at the animals," he said.

According to UNESCO the park which borders Uganda comprises an outstanding diversity of habitats, ranging from swamps and steppes to the snowfields of Rwenzori at an altitude of over 5,000 meters (16,400 feet), and from lava plains to savannahs on the slopes of volcanoes.

Mountain gorillas are found in the park, some 20,000 hippopotamuses live in the rivers and birds from Siberia spend the winter there, the United Nations cultural organisation said on its website.

IDPE said "at least 18 animals including seven elephants, four hippopotamuses and a lion were killed in the park between late August and early September".

Awesome ... Where will the hippos stop?

Were they pissed that they were breaking the law? Probably ...

Were they pissed that they were fishing and thereby endangering their food supply? Most Likely ...

Thus, whats in store for humanity? I mean, the next time I"m at McDonalds eating a Filet-O-Fish, is a hippo going to rise up and eat my face? Can you really answer no to that question? Of course you can't, because you know that the possibility is there ... sure, anything can happen, but if the Hippos are getting angry about us eating fish, then this just isn't going to stop.

The Reality of it is, Hippos hate poachers. Animals fight back, I promise you. Need Proof? Read this earlier post, and see all links ...

You've been warned ...

Bears Heart Lasagna ...

2009-09-13T06:09:00.006+02:00

If we've told you once, we've told you a million times Aspen, Colorado ...

Before David and Mary Berley could take their first bites of dinner Thursday night, they found themselves running from a bear that had entered their home through the front door.

David, 69, encountered the bear in the entryway and was clawed in the face. He was transported via ambulance to Aspen Valley Hospital shortly after 8 p.m. He sustained a deep wound on his cheek, as well as from his ear to his chin. Several stitches were required and David remained in the hospital Friday night so doctors could monitor him for possible infection.

Mary said as she and David sat down for a lasagna dinner at a center island in their kitchen, the couples three black labs started ferociously barking.

“We didn't hear the bear come in but the dogs took off down the stairs,” Mary said. “They had [the bear] cornered up against the door.”

David got up, looked down the stairs and saw a large black bear in the entryway. In an attempt to save the dogs, he went near the bear and then was attacked.

“He had blood all over and a huge gouge where the bear swiped him,” Mary said.

David retreated up the stairs and the bear followed him. He attempted to put a chair in front of the stairs to block the bear but to no avail. David was able to open the kitchen window above the sink before locking himself in his office, located off the kitchen. Mary locked herself in the upstairs bedroom and called 911.

The bear walked through the kitchen, left the Berleys' dinner alone, and exited through the open window. The wood frame around the window was torn up but there was no other damage to the house, although the bear did urinate in the front entryway, Mary said.

She said the ordeal lasted about 10 minutes.

Pitkin County Sheriff deputies, Aspen police officers and Colorado Division of Wildlife officers responded to the scene.

A bear trap was set in the front of the home, located on Laurel Lane in the Meadowood subdivision. DOW officers are patrolling the area at night in hopes of catching the bear, which will be killed once caught. As of Friday afternoon, the bear had not returned to the scene, said DOW spokesman Randy Hampton.

Mary said she had seen a bear a few nights ago wandering the neighborhood and getting into loose garbage, most likely left by construction workers who are installing a new sewer line in the neighborhood.

The Berleys have lived in the neighborhood since the 1960s and have never encountered a break-in by a bear even though bruins have been spotted in area over the years.

Thursday's attack is the third bear vs. human incident this summer.

On Aug. 17, Maureen Hirsch was attacked in her home in the Castle Creek drainage near Power Plant Road. She sustained minor injuries to her chest and back after she came face to face with a bear in foyer near the kitchen shortly after 10 p.m. Police said the bear forcibly entered the home through locked French doors.

Two nights later, DOW officials shot and killed the 500-pound bear, which had returned to Hirsch's property.

Then on Aug. 31, the DOW euthanized a bear after it scratched a woman's shin while she slept on her deck in the Mountain Valley neighborhood on Aspen's east side. She jumped up, and the bear left the deck but remained in the yard until wildlife officers and Aspen police arrived. It then climbed a tree before officers tranquilized and removed it.

Once again, we see Bears and Aspen don't mix well.

This time, a bear sought this guy out, and despite the 'protection' of three dogs, still decided it was time to break in and go to town.

Could it be the bears don't like rich people? Perhaps they do not like the smell of hybrid Mercedes' driving in their mountain towns? Or, could it be the Animal Uprising 2012 ...

The truth of it is, the Bears are fighting back ... Nine bears, 9 Bears, have been killed in and around Aspen, so you'd think the bears would have learned their lesson already. Since they haven't, is it really that far outside of the realm of reality to lend a thought to the possibility that the bears know damn well what they're doing in going after humans, breaking into cars, homes, etc, etc? Need Proof? See this earlier AU2012 Post here ...

And Aspen ... quit pissing off the bears.

Because We WANT to Give the Animal Uprising 2012 all the Advantages we Can ...

2009-09-11T16:25:00.005+02:00

A tiny box turtle surviving on painkillers and antibiotics after having his front legs eaten by a raccoon is getting a second chance — and a new pair of legs — thanks to a clever veterinarian in California.

When Lucky the turtle's legs were chewed to bits on July 31, his owner feared the mangled and bloody stumps would be too much for him to bear, the Press Democrat of Santa Rosa reported.

But the tenacious terrapin wasn't giving in, so owner Sally Pyne sought help from a local vet with experience in reptile care.

Veterinary surgeon Robert Jereb attached plastic sliders — the small discs usually stuck underneath chairs and table legs — to get Lucky back on his feet again, the paper reported.

Jereb stacked the discs two high and taped them to Lucky's stomach, restoring him to his usual height and allowing the turtle to propel himself with his hind legs, pushing from the back and sliding along in front.

Jereb said he wasn't sure how an animal got to the turtle, which normally would have boxed up for protection by withdrawing his legs and head into his shell, the Press Democrat reported. Jereb said Lucky may have been overweight or could have had a shell deformity that put him at risk.

Pyne said Lucky is adjusting well to the change, but told the Press Democrat the loggerhead's libido has waned, and he now leaves his companion Lovey alone after years of unwanted amorous advances.

"Now Lucky doesn't chase her around and try to make babies any more," she said.

So, if by 'Clever Veterinarian' you mean 'Weak Human Idiots', then ok, I can get on board with that ...

Do you have any idea what you're doing. First, its furniture sliders, next its Bionic Appendages which CAN and WILL be used against all of humanity in the Animal Uprising 2012.

And, yes of course ... we've seen/done this before, as Initially discussed here at Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Where does it stop people?

Look ... animals eat animals and people. People eat animals ... and sometimes people, although they generally go to jail for that, or live in a jungle somewhere and only show up in 70's exploitation flicks (re: Cannibal Holocaust).

POINT BEING that there is a natural progression to things, and if another animal gets its legs eaten off, its probably because they were tasty.

Look at this guy's eyes ... He can feel the power flowing from his new bionic plastic slider leg things ... and he is coming ... for all of us ...

You don't 'own' the animals man ... the animals own you.

Parasite Tongue

2009-09-10T19:11:00.007+02:00

A rare parasite which burrows into host fish before eating and replacing their tongues with itself has been found off the Jersey coast.

Fishermen near the Minquiers - islands under the jurisdiction of Jersey - found the isopod, a type of louse, inside a weaver fish.

Marine researcher Paul Chambers, from the Société Jersiaise, was one of the fishing party and identified the find.

He said he was surprised to find the isopod away from the Mediterranean sea.

Isopods are normally about 2cm (1in) long and live in fish, surviving on the animal's blood, in warm waters.

'Quite vicious'

Mr Chambers told BBC Jersey: "When we emptied the fish bag out there at the bottom was this incredibly ugly looking isopod.

"Really quite large, really quite hideous - if you turn it over its got dozens of these really sharp, nasty claws underneath and I thought 'that's a bit of a nasty beast'.

"I struggled for weeks to find an identification for this thing until, quite by chance I stumbled across something that looked similar in a Victorian journal.

"Apparently there's not too much ill effect to the fish itself except it's lost its tongue."

Experts at the University of Southampton confirmed that the creature was an isopod and that there had been several sightings of them in Cornwall in 1996.

Mr Chambers added: "It doesn't affect humans other than if you do actually come across a live one and try and pick it up - they are quite vicious, they will deliver a good nip."

Quite Vicious my ass ... These things are here to end all humanity.

Euuughhghgh ... I've seen these before ... all times involving Alien Bug-like creatures that live to destroy humanity.

Once Here ...

Lovely ...

And of course, it bares a striking resemblance to this ...

... which ended up rising up and shooting flaming acid from its mouth ...

I'd go ahead and say that we're about screwed, as alien bugs have found a way to take over our tongues ... well, fish tongues, but you read this, and YOU KNOW humans are not far behind ...

Jellyfish Weaponry

2009-09-10T18:59:00.002+02:00

MADEIRA BEACH, Fla. — A 41-year-old man was arrested on Monday at at Madeira Beach after witnesses said he repeatedly pretended to drown, then allegedly began tossing jellyfish at nearby teenagers. According to a sheriff's office report, Keith Edward Marriott caused "concern for his safety" when he repeatedly submerged himself and floated back to the top of the water. He was also "loud and disruptive."

He then started throwing the sea creatures.

Marriott was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon. According to the St. Petersburg Times, Marriott was carrying a pocketknife in his shorts.

Jail records indicate that Marriott was being held on $250 bond. A message left after-hours at the public defender's office was not immediately returned late Tuesday night.

Deadly Jelly Fish + Drunken Idiots = Animal Uprising WIN

Stray Cat Strut

2009-08-27T23:56:00.004+02:00

A cat was euthanized Tuesday after it viciously attacked a City of Tonawanda woman in her home.

The woman, 47, of East Avenue, sustained multiple bites, deep cuts and scratches to both legs in the attack by an animal that was being kept as a pet but is thought to have been a stray.

The cat began scratching and biting the woman while was helping a different feline in the home — a 5-week-old kitten — get its paw free from a closet door.

“The cat took numerous lunges at the victim, whose screams were heard by her boyfriend outside,” a police report states. “The cat was cornered ... and barricaded underneath a dresser prior to my arrival,” the officer’s report continues.

Police responded along with Tonawanda Fire Department personnel around 6 p.m., where first aid was administered to the woman, who was later driven to DeGraff Memorial Hospital with injuries. An agent from the Erie County SPCA was later called to contain the animal, a 4-year-old black shorthair.

SPCA Agent Lisa Hall responded to the residence, capturing the animal, which was later deemed to be seriously injured and afflicted with a pre-existing medical condition.

SPCA spokesperson Gina Browning could not confirm what exactly the medical condition was, but said the animal was euthanized shortly after with consent from its owner and sent to Albany for rabies testing. Browning said the cat had no vaccination history and it appears the animal may have been a stray being kept as a pet, she said.

“The cat was a stray but they named it Boo — so they named it and were probably trying to keep it,” Browning said. “The reason it was euthanized was because it needed to be tested for rabies.”

Ahhh Yes ... Once again, the rabies theory ...

Couldn't be that the cat was just pissed that this lady thought she could make it a pet ... nooooo ... there is noooo possibility whatsoever that an animal wanted to attack a human ... or that it entrapped a poor defenseless kitten as bait to ensnare the human ... or even worse, it was working with the kitten to bring the pain upon the human ... nooo ... nooo chance whatsoever that any of these possibilities could be real at all ...

Watch What We Can Do Humans ...

2009-08-26T18:18:00.005+02:00

KELSEYVILLE A large male mountain lion killed an adult buck deer in the backyard of a Clear Lake Riviera residence on Tuesday morning. The killing took place within a few feet of a landscaping crew that was working in the area.

After killing the deer, the lion fed on the carcass for more than two hours.

According to Jose Juarez, who operates a landscaping business, he and his two sons, Jackson and Jose Jr., were clearing brush from a backyard on Terrace Way wh en they observed two buck deer watching them. After a few minutes, one of the deer took off running and disappeared over a hill, while the other deer stayed in the backyard. That's when the mountain lion leaped from the brush onto the deer's back. Jose Jr. said the lion grabbed the deer by the throat and killed it in less than two minutes. The lion then started to feed on the carcass, which was only a few yards away from the men.

"He wasn't even scared of us and, in fact, ignored us as he fed on the dead deer. This went on for about two hours until he finally moved off into the brush," Jose Jr. said.

According to wildlife experts, this behavior is extremely unusual because most mountain lions are very shy and wary of humans.

'Extremely Unusual' eh?

Let me break this down for you ... you know in movies, when bad guys execute innocent bystanders to prove a point? Thats about like this. It's essentially the Animal Uprising's destruction of Alderaan ... sans giant Death Star ... remember when the empire totally destroyed that planet for no reason other than to prove how freakin awesome they were?

Yeah, thats this right here.

Animal Uprising 2012 just said "hey, watch what I can do ... Are you watching? **BAM** ... Ahh, I just killed this deer ... poor deer ... hey, but I'm hungry, so this is convenient ... 'Munch, Chomp' ... By The Way (Mouth Full Talking) ... This is gonna be your entire race ... 'Chew, Slurp, Munch' ... **BBUUURRRPPP** "

Of course, they haven't built a giant space station with a huge freakin laser on it yet, but its probably in the works ...

Kangaroos, Wallabies, Oh My!

2009-08-26T17:59:00.003+02:00

Quantifying the Uprising ... Some Disturbing and Expensive figures ...

Wildlife and stray animals are causing thousands of accidents and leading to high insurance costs, a new academic study has found.

The University of NSW says vehicle and animal collisions and attempts to avoid them caused more than 5,000 accidents between 1996 and 2005, resulting in more than 1,700 people being injured and another 22 killed.

The study, carried out by Dr Daniel Ramp and doctoral student Erin Roger, found kangaroos and wallabies were the most likely animals to be involved in collisions, which the NRMA estimates cost $3000 in 2003.

Ramp identifies a number of “hotspots”, which include major road freight routes such as the Hume, Barton and Federal highways.

After kangaroos and wallabies, the study found straying stock, dogs, riderless horses and other large animals were next most involved in collisions.

The researchers used figures from the NSW accident database, which also revealed wombats, emu, stock being driven or led, cats and rabbits as other animals frequently colliding with vehicles.

According to the study, crashes are more likely to happen on the weekends and twice as likely to occur in the winter months from April to August.

The majority of collisions occurred on dry roads in fine weather between dusk and dawn, with the peak period being between 6pm and 7pm.

While study points out the worst accident involved seven people, Ramp says the real toll of collisions with animals is probably higher.

"Often, drivers swerve to miss animals only to hit roadside obstacles, such as trees and poles or oncoming vehicles,” he says.

Besides major highways, the study found there were a number of accidents near Dubbo, Newcastle and Byron Bay.

By identifying the “hotspots”, Ramp hopes engineers will focus their efforts on those locations.

"It is likely that the solutions will come from a combination of behavioural and vehicle design approaches. There is a particular need to understand driver reactions to animals on roads and their attitudes to the risk of collisions with them,” he says.

"Previous studies investigating driver behaviour and attitudes to animal-vehicle crashes have been minimal. Nonetheless, it is known that drivers can effectively reduce the likelihood of animal-vehicle crashes by reducing their driving speed and remaining alert while driving through areas where animals are more abundant. "

... And, is there any coincidence that we have been witness to a global recession in the recent months? Could it be that not only has the Animal Uprising begun overall, but their attempt to endanger our financial infrastructure has also been slowly bleeding out our global economic welfare?

Australian figures be damned ... watch out for Kangaroos and wallabies no matter where you go ... It is their clear intent to devastate our insurance rates, and keep us on the brink of poverty.

You have been warned ...

Squid Invasion Part Deaux

2009-08-26T00:16:00.002+02:00

Large Humboldt squid have re-invaded the waters off Oregon and Washington. The squid are 4 to 6 feet long. They used to be rare this far north, but are becoming more common. Correspondent Tom Banse reports.

Humboldt squid are native to the deep waters off Mexico and Southern California.

Down there the efficient predators are nicknamed "red devils" or flying jumbo squid.

Humboldt SquidWashington Department of Fish & Wildlife scientist Greg Bargmann says the arrival of the jumbo squid is a new phenomenon that “looks to become a regular event off our coast.”

Greg Bargmann: “It could be the currents are changing. I'm not sure it's the water temperature or what's driving them. It might be a changing ocean.”

Last October, thousands of dead squid washed up on Oregon and Washington beaches around the time the surface waters turned cold.

The jumbo squid are edible, but fishermen who accidently catch them more commonly use the big calamari as crab bait.

... Or Could it be that the Squid just feel like surrounding the human population wherever they damn well please, with their giant eyes, and multiple tentacle legs ...

These squid are killers. They invade our oceans, then try to attack anything that vaguely resembles a human. Global warming be damned ... Animal Uprising 2012 is upon us ...

Bear Burglary (s)

2009-08-21T00:25:00.002+02:00

So this looked all sorts of awesome on its own ...

ASPEN, Colo. — Authorities say a bear forced its way into an Aspen home and attacked the homeowner, leaving her with cuts on her back and chest.

The state Division of Wildlife says the bear forced open a pair of unlocked doors on Saturday and attacked the woman, who fled upstairs and called 911. Her name and condition weren't released.

The bear left as police arrived. Wildlife officers are trying to find and kill the animal.

Officers say they found nothing around the property to attract the bear. They suspect the same animal was responsible for other break-ins and attempted break-ins.

They say that if bears climb through open doors or windows and find food, it's easy for them to force their way into other homes in search of something to eat.

And then I re-read that ending part ...

"They suspect the same animal was responsible for other break ins and attempted break-ins."

Then, we found this ... And pay attention to the ending parts ...

Officials believe that the same bear that attacked an Aspen woman in her home Monday broke into another person's house about 24 hours later in the same neighborhood, using the same method — tearing into locked French doors.

John Case, who lives on Mountain View Drive in the Cemetery Lane neighborhood, said a large bear broke into his house shortly after midnight Wednesday. He called 911, and Aspen police and officers from the Division of Wildlife arrived within minutes.

Case said he was sleeping when he awoke to sounds of something or someone in the house. He walked out of his bedroom and saw the bear standing on all fours in his dining room about 30 feet away.

“He was looking at me, and I was looking at him,” he said. “He's a big ... bear.”

After about 30 seconds, the bear backed up and left the house, Case said.

His house is located just a few properties away from where DOW officials set a trap in an attempt to capture and kill the bruin. His house also is located a short distance downstream from Maureen Hirsch's home, who lives on Power Plant Road in the Castle Creek drainage, where another trap has been set.

Hirsch was attacked Monday night at about 10 by the bear, estimated to weight about 500 pounds. As she walked in her home toward the kitchen, Hirsch was confronted by the bruin, who swiped her back and chest as she turned to open the front door to create an exit for him. She sustained minor injuries and was treated at Aspen Valley Hospital. The bear had gained access through locked French doors, which are rarely used, according to Hirsch.

Case said the bear split the door jam and tore it open from the top. He said he woke up when he heard a loud “kaboom” of the bear gaining access to his home.

“I guess French doors are his thing,” Case said. “It was exactly the same.”

There was a large plastic triceratops toy statue between the bear and Case, which may have acted as a deterrent for the bruin, who never made it to the kitchen.

“I credit the triceratops ... I don't know if it scared him,” Case laughed.

His wife and four children are out of town, and there is zero food in the house, Case noted, and the barbecue grill was clean.

“There was nothing to draw it other than previous experience,” Case said of the bear's learned behavior of seeking out human food.

DOW officials are patrolling the neighborhood in search of the bear, who, if caught, will be euthanized because of its aggressive behavior. The bear remained at large as of Wednesday afternoon, said DOW spokesman Randy Hampton.

That makes many residents in the neighborhood nervous, especially since many families with children live on Mountain View Drive.

“It makes my wife very concerned because we have four small children under 10,” Case said. “What worries us is a kid-bear encounter at dusk.”

It might take a while to capture the bear and stop it from terrorizing the neighborhood.

When a bear attacked a woman in Castle Ridge Apartments last year, it took five days to capture it, Hampton said, adding traps will only produce so much.

“Just like open doors, they get educated about traps,” he said.

Hampton said many people in the Aspen community won't call police or the DOW when they see evidence of a bear trying to break into a property because they think the animal will be harmed.

“People are not telling the DOW because they know we're going to kill it,” Hampton said. “All they are doing is putting their neighbors and themselves at risk.”

He urges people to keep their trash secured and report sightings because the bears may end up being relocated.

In other bear news:

On Tuesday, the Aspen Police Department received dozens of calls regarding bears. Most notable were:

• A bear made a run through the courtyard restaurant of the Little Nell.

• A bear in a garage on Sierra Vista Drive.

• A bear trying to break into a home on Mountain Laurel Drive.

• A bear broke into a vehicle on Gillespie Street.

Bears have decided they don't like french doors, they can break in whenever they want; they can try to jack cars as evidenced by the vehicle on gillespie street and the bear in the garage report, and they can walk into anybody's house they want to.

Essentially, Aspen, CO is doomed.

Georgia Bulldogs

2009-08-18T23:18:00.003+02:00

ATLANTA (Aug. 17) – A former college professor and his wife were apparently attacked and killed by nearly a dozen dogs along a rural northeast Georgia road where their bodies were found mutilated, authorities said Monday.

Preliminary autopsy results from the Georgia Bureau of Investigation showed Sherry Schweder, 65, likely died of injuries suffered in a dog attack, Oglethorpe County Sheriff Mike Smith said. Autopsy results for her husband, Lothar Karl Schweder, 77, were not yet available, but Smith said it's likely he was also attacked by dogs because the scene was so grisly.

Smith said officials were going to round up at least 11 dogs seen in the area where the couple's mutilated bodies were found Saturday morning by five passers-by.

It wasn't immediately clear whether the mixed-breed dogs, which are to be captured by animal control officers from neighboring Madison County, were feral or someone's pets. There had been no recent complaints about vicious dogs in the area, Smith said.

The bodies were found along a dirt road near the couple's home in Lexington and had been there for at least 24 hours before they were found, said county coroner James Mathews.

A family friend told the Athens Banner-Herald that Lothar Karl Schweder was a retired professor who had taught German at the University of Georgia, which is about 20 miles away in Athens.

UGA German Department head Martin Kagel said he didn't know Lothar Karl Schweder and that no one currently with the department knew him. However, he said it might be possible Schweder worked there part time at some point or worked there more than 20 years ago.

Wow ... a dozen dogs decided to attack a couple who were out walking ... I mean, c'mon ... What the hell is that business if not ridiculously odd, unexplainable, and flat out freaky.

Sometimes we have a laugh here at Animal Uprising 2012 ... unfortnately, this isn't one of those times. Georgia Bulldogs; not just a college mascot any longer ...

You've been warned.

No Photographs Please ...

2009-08-17T16:37:00.004+02:00

A retired schoolteacher from France has been trampled to death by wild elephants in southern India, forest officials say.

The 66-year-old woman and her son, a 39-year-old computer engineer, were walking in the Ooty hill ranges in Tamil Nadu state on Friday when the accident occurred.

The pair, accompanied on their trek by two local guides, came across a herd of wild elephants grazing and moved closer to take photographs when an elephant and her calf apparently charged them, officials said.

The pair ran in panic but could not escape, the officials said.

The woman died en route to hospital while her son suffered leg injuries, according to the officials.

Their identities could not immediately be confirmed and French embassy officials could not be immediately reached for comment.

"Local officers are investigating the incident," district forest officer K Soundarapandian said.

The pair were staying at a jungle resort known as Bokkapuram adjoining the well-known Mudumalai Tiger Reserve in Udhagamandalam, some 500 kilometres from Chennai.

WWF coordinator N Mohanraj called the accident an "avoidable tragedy".

He told the Hindu newspaper that there was a need to regulate tourism in wildlife areas and that elephant corridors should be left alone by tourists.

- AFP

With all due respect ... when are people going to learn to leave big giant wildlife alone? Apparently never. If you came across a herd of grazing, flesh eating dinosaurs of like sizes to an elephant, would you move closer to take a picture of them as well? Of course you wouldn't, because flesh eating dinosaurs would not be grazing, they would be jumping on you, eating your flesh. Point is, you don't move close to wild animals that can trample you.

All that aside, and I'm sorry to the family, people have got to respect ...

Alabama Snails

2009-08-14T17:53:00.003+02:00

Coming soon to a port and backyard near you! Yuck ...

(AP) — MOBILE, Ala. -When wildlife officials realized that baseball-sized Amazonian snails had colonized the main pond in Mobile's Langan Park last year, their worst-case scenario involved the giant gastropods escaping into Three Mile Creek.

Now, a year later, that's exactly what's happened.

Distinctive, bubble-gum pink wads of snail eggs have been found downstream of the pond's dam, indicating that the snails are there as well.

The only thing keeping the apple snails out of the Mobile-Tensaw Delta, according to biologists, is the time it will take them to move down the creek.

"Anything downstream of the lake is pretty much fair game at this point," said Dave Armstrong with the local office of Alabama Wildlife and Freshwater Fisheries, who discovered that the snails had escaped from the pond. "I'm really concerned. We're going to have to hustle to get something done before the winter."

Biologists fear the nonnative snails because they have been shown to eat 95 percent of the aquatic vegetation in some natural systems, leaving behind murky, algae-filled water. The list of the snail's preferred food items include all of Alabama's most common and important wetland plants: coontail, widgeongrass, spiderlillies, pickerelweed and bulltongue.

State officials believe that a few of the Amazonian snails were likely dumped into the pond after they had grown too large for a home aquarium. Pet stores sold the snails for years, but that practice is now illegal.

A year ago, egg masses were evident at Langan pond, but the snails themselves were hard to find. Last week, a walk to the pond's edge revealed 12 snails within 10 feet of each other, and egg cases caking every surface at the edge of the lake, from cypress knees to cattails to concrete culverts.

There is concern that the minor flooding associated with summer rains could be enough to wash young snails-which often attach themselves to pieces of wood floating in the water-all the way to the Mobile River.

"If this occurs, apple snails could invade more than 20,000 acres" of the delta, according to a report prepared by Wildlife and Freshwater Fisheries biologists. Snails could lay eggs on ships and barges, and "the port of Mobile could become a source of apple snails to the Tombigbee River, Alabama River and ports outside of Alabama."

State biologists considered the invasive snails a pressing threat and had hoped to poison the pond and exterminate the invaders last summer.

Instead, those involved said last week, various debates took precedence, including who should pay for the extermination effort, who should be in charge of it, and how exactly to go about killing the notoriously hardy creatures.

In the end, no action was taken before the first cold snap of winter sent the big snails burrowing into the mud at the bottom of the pond to hibernate. Once buried, they cannot be poisoned.

Nobody dropped the ball, it just hasn't happened as quickly as we all wanted," Armstrong said. "We have been talking all along about the need to deal with them. It took awhile to figure out what to do. They are very hard to eradicate."

State officials now have a blueprint for wiping out the snails at a cost approaching $50,000. Any further delay reduces the chance of success, according to state biologist Ben Ricks, who drafted the plan.

"I think the only hang-up at this point are questions of manpower, funding, equipment and such," said Dan Otto, Mobile's parks superintendent. "To my mind, the problem is bigger than just the city. But I'm sure the city can help."

Step one involves killing all of the cattails and other emergent vegetation around and in the pond to help reduce places the snails can lay their eggs.

Then all of the pink egg masses will be scraped from the pond's banks and frozen, which kills the eggs.

After that, the lake itself will be poisoned with copper sulfate, killing the snails and some of the fish in the pond, which is a popular fishing spot supporting healthy populations of bass and bream. State officials said the pond would be restocked if needed.

Press-Register reporters have documented the presence of tilapia in the pond, another invasive species that threatens the integrity of the delta. Biologists said getting rid of the breeding population of that fish in the pond would also be beneficial.

After the pond is poisoned, inspections will be performed at regular intervals. A follow-up application of copper sulfate will likely be required, according to the biologists.

Great ... From the state that brought us slavery, missing front teeth, 'Roll Tide', inbreeding, and the KKK, we now get, Giant Invading Snails ...

Absolutely LOVE the fact that they've known about this problem for awhile, but that now it could just be a wee bit too late, as once the snails get out, they'll be on board shipments, in rivers, laying gross pink eggs everywhere, eating puppies, kittens, and babies ...

Of course, Alabama totally has a plan to poison the snails, thereby eliminating the problem ... except for its not funded, and the flooding is apparently washing the snails out of Alabama presently as is ...

Gee, Thanks Alabama!

Otters ... Yes, You Read That Correctly ... This Post is About Otters ...

2009-08-12T17:04:00.003+02:00

An Austrian woman visiting a Wisconsin lake got quite a surprise when she saw several otters swimming near her. Before she knew it, the cute and seemingly innocent animals were attacking her.

Brigitte France, 51, was swimming in Lake Owen when she heard some hissing behind her. That's when she spotted a cute otter peeking out of the water.

"I thought it was really cool," she told the Duluth News Tribune. "I'd never seen an otter before. Then, all of a sudden, there were three of them."

When the otter gang got a little too close, France said they made her uncomfortable and she tried to escape.

"I decided to get out of the water," she told DNT. "I swam right to the bank, about 3 or 4 meters away from me."

When she made it to shore and was trying to get out of the water, she says one otter was on her right leg and another on her left. She says the otters bit her eight or nine times before she was able to shake her legs and get away. Luckily the bites "never really hurt that much," she said.

France's family took her to the hospital where she began a series of rabies shots.

A Minnesota Department of Natural Resources wildlife manager in Duluth says otters don't usually munch on humans and attacks are extremely unusual. Good to know.

France, 51, lives in Altach, Austria, with her husband who is a former Duluthian. They visit the family cabin in Wisconsin each summer.

France won't be seeking any revenge on the evil otters. She says she "hasn't been haunted by the experience" and isn't upset at them. The otters live to attack once more.

So, we have a hissing, attacking Otter. Seems to me that the Austrian invader stumbled upon some sort of secret Otter Den, or Animal Uprising 2012 planning center, and of course, the Otters had to attack ...

Once again, we see the appearance of the rabies theory ... happy otters at play, in a peaceful, serene lake where humans like to relax, and of course, an Otter attack MUST be rabies ... couldn't be that they just don't like humans.

Y'all have been warned.

Angry Rooster

2009-08-12T16:43:00.002+02:00

EAST NAPLES: A 20-month-old was taken to the emergency room following an attack by a rooster on Monday. But we found out the animal shouldn't have been there in the first place.

The wounds from Issac Ashley's battle with a bird run all the way up his cheek and nearly into his eye.

"I'm thankful that he's not blinded or maimed in that eye," said his mother Amey.

Amey says she and her young son were playing outside their apartment off Pine Street Monday morning when the rooster attacked.

She says it was enough to send him to the emergency room for hours.

"We weren't sure how bad it was because his face was just covered in dirt, I guess from the chicken's feet," Amey explained.

She said the roosters are her neighbor's and that they run free all the time. She just didn't expect them to fight.

"It happened within three seconds, five seconds flat. It happened before I could even get to him," Amey described.

The neighbor didn't want to go on camera. But she said even though there is a cage in her backyard, the roosters actually belong to a former resident who left the birds there when they went to Mexico two years ago.

Animal Control officers say the rooster wasn't groomed for fighting and was probably just protecting its territory.

"I've been working here for 11 years, and it was the first one that I've heard of," said Dana Alger, a Collier County Animal Control supervisor.

But officers also said roosters shouldn't be there anyway, because the neighborhood is not zoned to allow it. That's why the birds have since been removed.

"That way I don't have to worry about him being out in the yard again," Amey said.

She says it was an unlikely animal attack that she will be reminded of each time she looks at her son's face.

WTF ... Angry Mexican Rooster's protecting their territory?!? And by territory, they mean 'Apartment'?!?

Please ... Animal Uprising 2012 if I've ever seen it. Love how the article ends as well ... 'Every time she looks at her son's face, she'll be reminded of an angry cock pecking at it ... '

Cougars on the Prowl ...

2009-08-11T18:33:00.003+02:00

Brian Klaaf was riding his mountain bike on a trail near Leavenworth early one morning last week when he heard footsteps behind him.

First believing it was a dog, he stopped his bike. Then he saw the cougar pursuing him. Klaaf put his bike between him and the cougar, which stopped just feet from him.

He yelled and the cougar backed off; but it kept following him for a while before he scared it away a second time.

Today, state wildlife officials have brought in a hunter and hounds to try to track the cougar that has been frightening users of the Freund Canyon Trail near Leavenworth.

Klaaf, 45, who lives in California, said he has been riding mountain bikes for 20 years and has had three cougar encounters, but none were as aggressive as the one he spotted near Leavenworth.

"He was running behind me at the same speed as I was riding," he said. "I'd rehearsed this a lot. I jumped off my bike, lifted it and used it as a shield. It came within 6 feet and didn't back off till I yelled."

He said the cougar seemed to be in hunting mode. "There's no way anyone can pedal fast enough to get away."

The Forest Service has closed the trail until the cougar is caught.

Don Youkey, a wildlife biologist with the U.S. Forest Service, said the incident was the third in six weeks, including one encounter in which a cougar reportedly swiped at a cyclist's bike.

"Typically they're like a lot of wild critters — they see you more often than you see them," said Youkey. "Then they skedaddle." He thinks the cougar is young and curious, and is on the trail because there's a water source nearby.

Youkey said when confronted by a cougar, people shouldn't run, but instead should yell, jump up and down, try to make themselves taller and do anything to scare it away.

Well ... seems to me that Cougars on the prowl is not always a bad thing. Perhaps this bike rider over reacted slightly. For the US Forest Service to release hounds out into the wild to find a cougar ... well ... that seems like a pretty serious problem then. I mean, a serious cougar problem could intimidate some lesser guys. Not to say this mountain bike rider is a lesser guy, he may just not be equipped, or used to handling cougars. Apparently, he had rehearsed how he would react to a cougar attack in the past, so he must have had some experiences with cougars before. Hell, he's probably decided that he doesn't like cougars already, so thats that.

Anyway, if you see a cougar, on a trail, and you hop off your bike, just make sure you're protected, otherwise that cougar might jump all over you ... and give you rabies ... or eat your face ...

Bears Eating Dinner

2009-08-11T15:38:00.004+02:00

OURAY, Colo. -- An autopsy showed a 74-year-old Ouray County woman whose body was found being eaten by a bear was attacked and killed by that same bear after she attempted to help a smaller bear that had been hurt in a fight.The son-in-law of Donna Munson told 7NEWS that Munson was trying to help a smaller bear that had gotten into a fight with an older bear on Aug 7. The smaller bear suffered broken teeth in the brawl, Munson told her family.Munson told her brother by telephone that she was putting out hard-boiled eggs and milk for the younger bear to eat, said the victim's son-in-law, Bruce Milne.

Munson told her brother Thursday night that the older bear was back and said, "I'm going to chase it off with a broom."According to the county coroner, Munson was grabbed by the bear and it slashed her head and neck with such penetrating force that Munson would have bled out in 90 seconds.

Sheriff's investigators said that the bear "clubbed" her through the wire fence that she had built around her porch, rendering her unconscious. It then grabbed her, pulled her underneath the fence to the back yard and then slashed her to death, the sheriff's office said.Later that day, a witness found a large bear feeding on Munson's body as it lay outside her home.

When deputies arrived to investigate the report of a mauling on Friday, they were approached by a 250-pound bear, which was actively sniffing the body. A deputy with the Ouray Sheriff's Office fired six rounds and killed the bear. A necropsy on that bear showed that it neither attacked nor fed on Munson.On Saturday about 3 a.m., a second bear was acting aggressively towards investigators who were still at the house. A DOW investigator shot and killed that bear -- a 400-pound male bear.A necropsy on that second bear revealed human tissue as well as remnants of a shirt that Munson was wearing, according to the Ouray Sherrif's Office.

Officials said the DOW had known for years that Munson routinely fed bears and would not stop, even after repeated requests from the DOW.The remote nature of her home made observing possible wildlife violations impossible, the DOW said. Last year, the DOW sent a written notice to Munson and renters at her home warning of the dangers of feeding bears."It got to the point where she never opened her door for us, allowed us on her property or answered her phone," said DOW spokesman Tyler Baskfield. "Our officers went above and beyond, in terms of gaining her cooperation."Munson had constructed a metal fence that covered her porch so that she could feed bears through the fence, wildlife officials said.There have been only two fatal bear attacks in Colorado in the past 100 years. The first was in Grand County in 1971, when a man was killed. The second incident was Aug. 10, 1993, in Fremont County when a 24-year-old man was killed.

The family said Munson moved from southern California with her former husband, Jack, and they built the three-story log house outside of Ouray in 1978.The coroner said her official cause of death was multiple trauma due to a bear attack. The manner of death was ruled to be accidental.

Apparently, people can't understand that no matter what we do, the Animal Uprising is coming. This lady built a house, and fence, so she could hang out with bears ... and a bear eats her ... and this is news, or a surprise to anyone?

Please ... I'm sorry for the family, but c'mon here ... are we really surprised that this happened? And how on earth did she know the smaller bear's teeth were injured in a fight with a larger bear ... Best (Worst) of all is the line about chasing off a 400 lb bear with a broom. If by 'broom' you mean 'cannon' or 'tank', then ok, I'm with you. Otherwise, have at it lady, and good luck.

Dogs Indoors ...

2009-08-11T00:15:00.003+02:00

Wow ...

LEESBURG, Va. - Leesburg Police are investigating after man was apparently mauled to death by dogs inside a home.

Police were called to a home in the 100 block of Plaza Street NE around 2 p.m. Monday afternoon. Investigators say the 20-year-old Leesburg man was found inside the home, and he was suffering from injuries that appeared to be related to an attack by dogs. They say officers discovered him after his mother called police because she was concerned for his well-being.

Investigators say the man died as a result of his injuries. They also say four dogs—two pit bulls and two smaller dogs—were found inside the home. They say the pit bulls were roaming free, and one of the smaller dogs was in a cage. The other small dog was dead.

Witnesses outside the home tell FOX 5 that the young man was well-known in the community, having attended high school there. Several of his friends came to the home upon hearing the news, and they were very emotional. The victim's name has not yet been released.

Animal control has the three remaining dogs in custody. It's not clear whether all of them lived in the home together. Witnesses told FOX 5 they had seen the dogs before, and the family did a good job of containing them.

Police say traffic that is not related to the residences in the 100 block of Plaza Street NE is being diverted onto adjacent side streets while the investigation is underway.

Wow, WTF?!?

We here at Animal Uprising 2012 have long been supporters of the dog theory, recognizing dogs as one of the few animals which can choose sides in the Animal Uprising.

Basically, the way this played out was;
-Dogs turned on their human 'master'
-Small dogs came to aid the human
-Realizing they were overmatched, the braver of the two small dogs chose to hide its companion in a cage where it would be safe
-The brave small dog perished fighting to protect the human, and the smaller dog from the obvious Animal Uprising supporters

Unfortunately, the Animal Uprising has little patience, and lesser mercy for do-gooders.

Thanks for your sacrifice, brave small dog ...

Bats ... And the Return of the Rabies Theory

2009-08-05T17:04:00.003+02:00

The 'Rabies Theory' has been a running theme in many posts here at AU2012. For you new readers (whats up Tokyo!), 'The Rabies Theory' is the prevailing belief that it is much easier for the media/government/controlling classes to explain away the truth of the Animal Uprising by simply labeling certain animals 'Rabid'.

I present today's example; Bats ...

Two young girls visiting northern Utah have begun treatment for rabies after being attacked in broad daylight by a bat that later tested positive for the disease.

The Weber-Morgan Health Department reported the attack took place on Saturday as the girls were walking near the town of Liberty. One was bitten on the finger and the other was exposed to the disease while trying to stop the attack.

Officials said relatives were able to safely capture the bat, which later tested positive for rabies. The girls, who are from out of state, are receiving a series of shots to prevent them from contracting the disease.

"Bats are nocturnal, so for this to happen during the daytime is a sure sign that the bat was ill," says Weber-Morgan Health Director Gary House. "The safest and best advice is to avoid all physical contact with bats if possible.

"While this incident appears to be unprovoked, it tells us that we have rabies activity in our area," he said. "Residents need to be cautious of any animals, especially bats, that are acting aggressively."

The rabies virus affects the neurological system is almost always fatal if left untreated. The virus is transmitted when infected saliva is passed on through bites or scratches by infected animals, including skunks, raccoons, foxes and coyotes.

Residents is southern Utah are also are being reminded to stay away from sick or dead animals after two cats in Kane County tested positive for a bacterial infection called tularemia. Better known as rabbit fever, that infection can also be fatal in humans if left untreated.

The Southwest Utah Public Health Department is investigating after state health officials confirmed the infection, which is often spread by deerflies and ticks or by exposure to the blood of infected animals.

"People can be infected by tularemia, but it cannot be spread from person to person", says Lisa Starr, communicable disease nurse for the department.

Symptoms include flu-like illness such as sudden fever, body aches, and coughing. If the infection is caused by an insect bite or a cut, it usually results in a skin ulcer and swollen glands.

Though only about 200 cases are reported annually in the U.S., 14 people contracted rabbit fever in Utah in July 2007, following a large event held on the west side of Utah Lake in which those infected all participated.

So if I may, lets dissect this cover stor... errr ... legitimate news story for signs of 'The Rabies Theory' ...

Two young girls visiting northern Utah have begun treatment for rabies after being attacked in broad daylight by a bat that later tested positive for the disease.

Bats, a nocturnal animal, attacked two children (weaker than adults = easier targets for the Animal Uprising), in broad daylight. What sense does it make for Bats to be flying around during the daytime ... unless they were intentionally out to harm humans? Zero sense. So what's the explanation? Rabies Theory ... No possible way animals could actually want to harm humans, so it must be Rabies, right?

Animal Uprising 2012 - 1 ... Rabies Theory - 0

Officials said relatives were able to safely capture the bat, which later tested positive for rabies.

WTF? Most Bats that I've seen, you can't tell the difference between, so how do we know they caught the right one, or whether they caught a bat at all? Of course, its easy for the media to explain this away by mentioning Rabies ...

Animal Uprising 2012 - 2 ... Rabies Theory - 0

"Bats are nocturnal, so for this to happen during the daytime is a sure sign that the bat was ill," says Weber-Morgan Health Director Gary House.

Great, bring in the accredited specialist with a cool title to legitimize the Rabies explanation, while affirming the abnormality of the daytime attack (Animal Uprising 3, Rabies Theory 0), and ...

"The safest and best advice is to avoid all physical contact with bats if possible."

... have him say something completely obvious ... Thanks Gary ... Duh, but Thanks ... Maybe you can be brought in to consult with the City of Houston, which Promotes Bats as a Tourist Attraction ... Love you Houston, but the Animal Uprising is coming, and this is purely a way for Bats to make humans feel safe, before they unleash their true intentions ... world domination.

Now we're talking Gary ... Start instilling Fear into the people, because thats the only way we're going to learn ...

Animal Uprising 4, Rabies Theory 0

Next time you read 'Rabies', make sure you're thinking critically before you eagerly swallow what the media's feeding you ... you have been warned ... again ...

Python Invasion 2009

2009-08-04T15:59:00.003+02:00

Staff at the Okeechobee Veterinary Hospital routinely handle large animals. Along with pet dogs and cats, they treat hogs, horses, cows and bulls.

But the enormous critter that slithered uninvited onto the hospital grounds Thursday stunned everyone. It turned out to be one of the biggest Burmese pythons found roaming free in Florida.

The constrictor stretched 17 feet, two inches and measured 26 inches around at its thickest point. It weighed in at a staggering 207 pounds -- four pounds more than the Miami Dolphins' brawny No. 1 draft pick, Vontae Davis.

``It was a complete shock,'' said Patty Harvey, a technician at the hospital, which is just north of Lake Okeechobee. ``We see huge gators all the time being in Okeechobee, but you would never expect to see a snake this size.''

SNAKES SPREADING

Florida wildlife managers pointed to the find as the latest, and largest, evidence that the exotic snake, which has settled into the Everglades, is spreading across the state.

``The capture of this large python shows us how well these snakes can thrive in the wild and create a dangerous situation after illegal release or escape,'' said Rodney Barreto, chairman of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. ``It also illustrates why the FWC is partnering with other agencies to implement python control measures in South Florida.''

Two weeks ago, the FWC began an experimental permit program that allows reptile experts to euthanize Burmese pythons on state-managed lands around the Everglades, where the population is now estimated to number in the tens of thousands.

But the python patrol didn't bag the giant snake that made its way onto the hospital's 20-acre compound.

It was spotted Thursday afternoon by Corey Surls, 11, whose uncle, veterinarian Jim Harvey, owns the hospital.

The boy spends a lot of time on the grounds and overheard construction workers, who are building an addition to the hospital, talk about a large snake they had seen in a ditch, Harvey said. ``He runs over there and looks into the ditch and, lo and behold.''

Corey told WPBF in West Palm Beach that he was scared at first but, pointing to a cousin who went along, said ``I was on the other side of the fence, so I knew it was going to get him first.''

He alerted his uncle. The veterinarian killed the snake with head shots from a .22 caliber rifle, Harvey said.

Though it is illegal to shoot pythons in state wildlife management areas or federal lands, the FWC says the snakes can be legally shot on private property if local laws allow gunuse.

Afterward, the staff, still in hospital attire, posed for what Harvey called a ``once-in-a-lifetime'' photo.

It took eight of them to hold the snake. Harvey is third from left, grimacing.

``I am petrified of snakes,'' she said. ``It was still moving. I guess their muscles move for a while even after they're dead.''

As one of the largest snakes in the world, sometimes topping 20 feet, Burmese pythons are considered a serious threat to native species. Everything from deer hooves to endangered rats has been pulled from their bellies.

Nothing discernible was found in this python's stomach, and Harvey said none of the animals on the hospital's sprawling grounds were missing.

NO MICROCHIP

Wildlife officers scanned for a microchip, required for pets under state law since 2007, but found nothing.

Harvey said the meat was donated to a nearby wildlife rehabilitation facility, a fitting turn of the table that will let natives fatten up on an invader.

The future of the skin remains uncertain, though Harvey admitted female staffers were joking it would make a lot of nice purses.

Yes indeed female staffers and children. Go ahead and joke about the Burmese Python that you happened to stumble across ... *Ahem*, the 17 foot burmese python.

Of course, its all fun and games ... until the state hires expert snake assassins to combat the Python Invasion 2009 ... of course, there's nothing to be concerned about ... right?

Flipper Gets Eaten ...

2009-07-30T17:02:00.004+02:00

As we at AU2012 have always maintained, there are some species of animals that can be 'turned' in favor of the human race. Dogs, maybe some house cats, guinea pigs, horses, and possibly some others.

As for seafaring animals, dolphins have always been a 'friend' to humans. They live amongst us, they entertain our children, they have even taken up arms with humans in our human vs human conflicts ...

Essentially, Dolphins are the puppies of the sea ... which is why retribution should not come as a surprise to humankind ...

CLEARWATER — Blood was pooling in the water off Stephen McCulloch's boat Tuesday morning. He kept his phone call about the injured dolphin brief.

"We've witnessed a tiger shark attack on Dunham. He's mortally wounded," said McCulloch, a Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institution director. "There may be a possibility we need to euthanize him."

About 400 miles away, Kevin Walsh answered his phone at the Gulf World Marine Park. The dolphin he had helped nurse from near death for seven months now needed to die.

McCulloch stood in the murky shallows cradling Dunham.

"I realized what I was looking at," he said. "I could feel his sternum between his pecs was ripped out. I could feel his heartbeat in my hands."

Walsh called Dunham's veterinarian, who came to the dolphin's side carrying a lethal dose of Beuthanasia. She saw the wound, the blood. She decided Dunham couldn't be saved.

"It was one thing to witness nature," McCulloch said. "It's another thing to watch the people who spent their last (seven) months caring for the animal see something so horrible and have to put him to sleep."

• • •

Midnight, Christmas Day, 2008. Gulf World was cold, dark and quiet. In a large, heated pool, Walsh floated Dunham in his arms. Nearly all 245 pounds of the dolphin were dead weight. Let him go, Walsh knew, and he'd sink and drown.

A fisherman had found him days earlier on the sand of Anclote Key. The sick Atlantic bottlenose had kept to shallow water until the tide rolled out.

For three weeks, caregivers at the Panama City Beach facility wouldn't leave Dunham's side. He was weak with pneumonia, parasites and ulcers, and his gray skin was burnt, scabbed and scarred. "He was basically bones with skin," Walsh said.

Nine out of 10 stranded marine animals die, the damage already too severe. Dunham seemed to be near the end.

"When you're holding an animal up for 24 hours (a day) for three weeks," said Secret Holmes, director of marine mammals at Gulf World, "you just don't think he's going to make it."

Over the weeks of constant care, Dunham's silence turned to whistles and clicks. He began to swim again.

His caregivers, for their safety and his, kept their distance. He was still under heavy medication and could die any minute. In case he did recover, he would need to fend for himself. Instead of hand-feeding, they tossed his fish in the water. They watched but never made eye contact.

"This could end at any time," Holmes said. "You don't want to get attached."

Hidden from Gulf World's visitors, Dunham's life stretched on. His wounds healed. He didn't need 24-hour care anymore, but maintenance and security workers watched him overnight. Holmes kept her phone close when she slept and could rush to Dunham in 10 minutes.

After seven months of care, Dunham was ready for release.

• • •

Walsh has worked with marine animals for 37 years. He knows the pain of losing one. Still, he was in disbelief at McCulloch's call.

Speaking Wednesday, the day after the attack, he did his best to stay professional, detached. But the grief is hard to hide.

"You can still bring us to tears if you want to. That's where we're at," Walsh said.

"Is there an emotional attachment? Hell, yeah. We put a lot of time, effort, blood, sweat and tears into it. You can't help but have that moment where you are devastated by it."

Sadness gave way to anger. Dunham's caregivers, mocked for challenging nature's cruelty, became defensive. Some people poked fun at their work and questioned how Dunham was released. Their work was being made by some into a national laughingstock. Why, the handlers wondered, did everyone else care about Dunham only after he died? Where were they for the seven months before?

They're trying to move on now. Gulf World's crew returned to the Panhandle as soon as their time with the necropsy finished. They had planned to rest after Dunham's release but stayed awake a day longer.

McCulloch and the ambulance drove back to Harbor Branch, on the Fort Pierce campus of Florida Atlantic University. He still remembers massaging Dunham's muscles and whistling with him on the trip to his Dunedin Causeway release. The memory of the veterinarian's face when she saw Dunham's blood hasn't faded.

So why do they do it? Why endure months of exhaustion to help a dolphin back to health, with all the risks involved? Why open yourself to the heartbreak?

"When that dolphin hits the beach," McCulloch said, "somebody has to do something."

Just further proof that the animals are watching us, and no one, not even our friends in the animal kingdom, will be spared ...

The Chase ...

2009-07-28T00:15:00.003+02:00

BROCKTON - Mary Ellen Nutting had been in her backyard garden picking vegetables for a friend when she heard scratching on the other side of her wooden fence. Nutting, who had spotted a red fox crouching around her yard earlier, did not wait to see what made the sound.

She and her friend bolted toward her Oak Street home, and Nutting turned around to see the animal chasing after them. While her friend made it inside, the fox gripped Nutting’s ankle between its teeth. Nutting, who had been holding a watering-hose stick the size of a golf club, began beating the creature until it fled, she said.

“I am still petrified,’’ she said of the incident, which occurred Wednesday night.

Animal control officers were searching yesterday for the red fox that bit Nutting and a silver one they said was responsible for two other attacks in the same neighborhood on the city’s north side, animal control supervisor Thomas DeChellis said. A fox was caught in Nutting’s yard yesterday, but it was unclear if it was the fox that bit her. Many gray foxes also have a lot of red fur, and the same fox may be involved in all three incidents, said Marion Larson, a biologist with the state Division of Fisheries and Wildlife.

Nevertheless, fox attacks are rare occurrences in Massachusetts, they said.

“I have been working for 15 years in animal control,’’ said DeChellis. “This type of incident has never happened.’’

Animal control officers set up traps in several yards and were patrolling the area yesterday for the foxes, which they believed may have been guarding a den of pups, DeChellis said. The fox that was caught will be taken to a state lab in Jamaica Plain today to be tested for rabies, according to Councilor Christopher J. MacMillan.

The symptoms displayed by the foxes are so unusual that the animals may have distemper or an aggressive form of rabies, Larson said.

The furry creature that dashed toward 9-year-old Isabel Robbins on Monday night from under a neighbor’s bushes looked like a big, gray cat, but it bit onto the lace of her inline skate and shook so hard that she screamed. Her mother, Jennifer Robbins, had been walking in front of her with her 3-year-old sister. She turned around and dragged Isabel down Martland Avenue as they both yelled for help.

Before the silver fox could sink its teeth into her skin, a neighbor came out and scared the animal away.

“I am never wearing those skates again,’’ Isabel said.

Mary Seaver, 69, was not so lucky Wednesday. She said she also thought she saw a cat as she was spreading mulch underneath the bushes in her garden during the afternoon. Instead, a silver fox darted out from the brushes and latched unto her ankle. Seaver cried out, grabbing the animal by the scruff of its neck and prying its mouth open, she said. The fox scampered off.

“I looked down and a lot of blood was spilling from my sneakers, copious amounts,’’ said Seaver, who called 911 and was taken to the hospital. “I have not slept well. I was up shivering in fevers.’’

Both Seaver and Nutting said they received rabies shots. They have bandaged ankles and are expected to recover quickly. Isabel Robbins said she does not want to play outside. Her family and others in the neighborhood have been rattled by the incidents.

Tracy Reyes, 33, who lives on Oak Street, said she has not let her children play outdoors since the attacks. “We are very nervous,’’ she said. “When we go out, we check the bushes.

Although the attacks are strange, it is not unusual for foxes to inhabit urban and suburban areas, because it is easy for them to find food, such as birdseed, pet food, smalls pets, and trash, Larson said ...

And now add to that list Human Flesh. The beginning of this article sounds like the intro to an awesome Zombie 'B' Movie ... Simple Outdoor setting, old woman gardening, scratching, then 'GET IN THE HOUSE ... THE FOXES ARE ATTACKING!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!'

And of course, we witness the 'Rabies' theory ... Always easy to say Rabies, and not 'Animal Uprising 2012' wherein foxes have decided to try to end us humans early. And they're smart! They start with children and the elderly first ...

Once again, you've been warned ...

Calamari Please ...

2009-07-21T17:33:00.003+02:00

SAN DIEGO — Thousands of jumbo flying squid — aggressive 5-foot-long sea monsters with razor-sharp beaks and toothy tentacles — have invaded the shallow waters off San Diego, spooking scuba divers and washing up dead on tourist-packed beaches.

The carnivorous calamari, which can grow up to 100 pounds, came up from the depths last week and swarms of them roughed up unsuspecting divers. Some divers report tentacles enveloping their masks and yanking at their cameras and gear.

Stories of too-close encounters with the alien-like cephalopods have chased many veteran divers out of the water and created a whirlwind of excitement among the rest, who are torn between their personal safety and the once-in-a-lifetime chance to swim with the deep-sea giants.

The so-called Humboldt squid are native to the deep waters off Mexico, where they have been known to attack humans and are nicknamed "red devils" for their rust-red coloring and mean streak. Those who dive with them there chum the water with bait and sometimes get in a metal cage or wear chain mail to avoid being lashed by tentacles.

"I wouldn't go into the water with them for the same reason I wouldn't walk into a pride of lions on the Serengeti," said Mike Bear, a local diver. "For all I know, I'm missing the experience of a lifetime."

The squid are too deep to bother swimmers and surfers, but many longtime divers say they are staying out of the surf until the sea creatures clear out. Yet other divers, including Shandra Magill, couldn't resist the chance to see the squid up close.

On a recent night, Magill watched in awe as a dozen squid with doleful, expressive eyes circled her group, tapping and patting the divers and gently bumping them before dashing away.

One especially large squid suspended itself motionless in the water about three feet away and peered at her closely, its eyes rolling, before it vanished into the black. A shimmering incandescence rippled along its body, almost as if it were communicating through its skin.

But the next night, things were different: A large squid surprised Magill by hitting her from behind and grabbing at her with its arms, pulling her sideways in the water. The powerful creature ripped her buoyancy hose away from her chest and knocked away her light.

When Magill recovered, she didn't know which direction was up and at first couldn't find the hose to help her rise to the surface. The squid was gone.

"I just kicked like crazy. The first thing you think of is, 'Oh my gosh, I don't know if I'm going to survive this. If that squid wanted to hurt me, it would have," she said.

Other divers have reported squid pulling at their masks and gear and roughing them up.

Roger Uzun, a veteran scuba diver and amateur underwater videographer, swam with a swarm of the creatures for about 20 minutes and said they appeared more curious than aggressive. The animals taste with their tentacles, he said, and seemed to be touching him and his wet suit to determine if he was edible.

"As soon as we went underwater and turned on the video lights, there they were. They would ram into you, they kept hitting the back of my head," he said.

"One got ahold of the video light head and yanked on it for two or three seconds and he was actually trying to take the video light with him," said Uzun, who later posted a 3-minute video with his underwater footage on YouTube. "It almost knocked the video camera out of my hands."

Scientists aren't sure why the squid, which generally live in deep, tropical waters off Mexico and Central America, are swarming off the Southern California coast — but they are concerned.

... Hell yes they should be concerned ... ridiculous ... What the hell are these squid getting all up on our beaches for anyway? And then there's this genius ...

In recent years, small numbers have been spotted from California to Sitka, Alaska — an alarming trend that scientists believe could be caused by anything from global warming to a shortage of food or a decline in the squid's natural predators.

This summer, the wayward squid have also been hauled up by fisherman in waters off Orange County, just north of San Diego.

Research suggests the squid may have established a year-round population off California at depths of 300 to 650 feet, said Nigella Hillgarth, executive director of the Birch Aquarium at Scripps Institution of Oceanography.

Swarms off the coast — and the subsequent die-offs — may occur when their prey moves to shallow waters and the squid follow, and then get trapped and confused in the surf, said Hillgarth, who saw a dying squid on the beach last weekend.

"It was an amazing privilege to touch a creature like that and see how amazingly beautiful it was," she said. "They have these wonderful eyes. ... They look all-seeing, all-knowing."

That's the kind of description that pulls veteran divers such as Raleigh Moody back to the pitch-black water, despite the danger.

"My usual dive buddy, he didn't want to come out," said Moody, as he prepared for a night dive with another friend. "There are some divers (who) just don't want to deal with it and there are some like me that, until they hear of something bad happening, I'm going to be an idiot and go back in the water."

$5 says that Raleigh Moody is about the first or second person to perish in the water-bound effort of the Animal Uprising 2012. I mean c'mon here ... a squid is grabbing at your diver's mask, and trying to tear open your face with its beak, and you say ""It was an amazing privilege to touch a creature like that and see how amazingly beautiful it was," she said. "They have these wonderful eyes. ... They look all-seeing, all-knowing." What the hell are they all knowing about? About how to kill you ... quickly?

Yeaaahhhckkghghghah .. (Shudder) ... freakin 7 ft squid biting at your face ... sorry, but we don't need your type in the defense against the animal uprising ... you're about as useful as a packet of silica gel, and about as welcome on the Animal Uprising 2012 defense team as an STD ... No Thank you mam ... take your squid worshipping ways, hop in your Smart Car, and go drive into a Windmill farm blade.

Monkey Burglars

2009-07-21T17:05:00.003+02:00

NBC -- It's a crime caught on camera that has the owners of a north Texas business going bananas.

They have security camera video of what appears to be a monkey burglarizing their business.

Ellen Goldberg has more on the bizarre break-in.

"Definitely never been robbed by a monkey before," says store co-owner Jerry Duncan.

Yes, a primate is the prime suspect in the latest break-in at this Richardson, Texas nursery.

"I said no way until I look at it and said this is crazy," said store co-owner Shelley Rosenfeld.

The owners of "Plants and Planters" are convinced that's a monkey in the bottom left hand corner of the security camera tape.

"You can see the back legs the front arms and the white head," observes Duncan.

And with the help of a human accomplice, Shelley Rosenfeld believes the monkey was trained to steal several hundred dollars worth of her merchandise.

"He went out in this section out here and handed plants over the gate," she days.

About 40 plants were missing the next morning. There were also pieces of concrete shattered in the parking lot.

"They need to train him better if he is going to do the big jobs," Duncan adds with a laugh.

For now, Richardson police are stuck with the job of figuring out who or what this is.

"I wouldn't think there would be too many monkeys in this city," Duncan says.

Of course, its easy to 'explain' a monkey break in by saying that a human trained the monkey to steal plants, and apparently break concrete. The reality of this is far worse, and the authorities are asking the wrong questions altogether. What we should actually be wondering is, is 'How do 40 plants benefit the monkey part of the Animal Uprising?"

The fact that I have no idea how to answer this question should be even more worrisome ... to everyone.

It's not just in the US....

2009-07-20T19:22:00.003+02:00

A buzzard has attacked another holidaymaker in Cornwall - the second such incident in a matter of days.

Eleanor Dennis, 19, was jogging near the Helford River on Saturday evening when the bird of prey attacked.

The teenager from Hertfordshire, who is on holiday with her family, was not hurt, but was badly frightened.

Last week Stuart Urquhart from Bristol needed hospital treatment after a buzzard slashed his head while he was out jogging near the Helford River.

Mr Urquhart suffered three 6cm (2in) long gashes on his scalp from the bird's talons.

The attack on Miss Dennis happened at about 1830 BST near Constantine.

"I was jogging along by the river when I suddenly heard this 'swishing' noise behind me," she told BBC News.

"When I looked round the bird was swooping down above my head, but it missed me by about 1m.

"I clapped my hands to scare it off, but it screeched at me and just kept following me for about 50m."

Ciaran Nelson from the RSPB said it is likely the attacks were carried out by the same bird, whose behaviour indicates it is trying to protect its young.

At this time of year if the buzzard has young preparing to fledge, it will see almost anything as a potential threat to its family and environment," he said.

"Put simply it is doing what comes naturally."

Mr Nelson said buzzards were normally extremely wary of humans after being persecuted and hunted almost to extinction, so the only other explanation could be the bird may have once been in captivity.

"It's just possible it's escaped and may be swooping down because its been trained to the lure for food," he said.

In previous years there have been a number of buzzard attacks reported on cyclists near Holsworthy, north Devon.

If a buzzard is defending its young, Mr Nelson said its aggressive behaviour should only last until the chicks have fledged.

"It's hard to say, without knowing what stage they're at, but it shouldn't be much more than a matter of days or a week until this one moves on," he added.

Buzzards, which can weigh up to 1kg and have a 1m (39in) wingspan, are a protected species.

Quotes of Note:

"It's hard to say, without knowing what stage they're at, but it shouldn't be much more than a matter of days or a week until this one moves on."

Excuse me, a matter of weeks??? So you're telling me that over the next few weeks of being on "holiday" I could possibly be attacked by a buzzard??

"Put simply it is doing what comes naturally."
Attacking humans is natural.....awesome

Consider yourself warned...again

The Most Pointless Post About a Bear ... Ever ...

2009-07-14T19:00:00.002+02:00

BOISE, Idaho (AP) State wildlife managers say they used DNA to locate a radio-collared grizzly bear that attacked an Idaho Falls hunter near Harriman State Park in June.

The state Department of Fish and Game says saliva left on one of the victim's bite marks was matched earlier this month to a FEMA le grizzly traveling with three cubs in the same area where the attack occurred.

Keith Klingler, 38, was bitten in the right arm when he and two other black bear hunters came across the grizzly June 28. He was treated for lacerations at a hospital in Rexburg.

The hunters were tracking black bears near the Bishop Mountain area of the Harriman State Park.

Wardens say one of the hunters fired a shot during the attack, but the grizzly was found unharmed.

Sooo ... ok then ... this is news apparently ... Someone collared a Grizzly so they could Big Brother 1984 them ... That Grizzly had cubs ... A couple of d-bags tried to shoot it, so she bit em (Big Surprise There) ... Then they found her ...

Right, so to sort this out, we've decided to bring in a Special Guest Blogger to this post ... Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome 'THE BEAR' from the story, answering some questions about themselves that you probably won't care much about!

1. Do you like blue cheese? I'm kind of a fan of any kind of cheese I can get my paws on, so I'll say yes, although I don't really discriminate on cheese ... at all ...

2. Have you ever smoked? Uhh, not sure how to answer this ... I mean, I'm a bear, I don't really have fingers ... I like being close to fires if that helps, but generally that freaks people out, sooo ...

3. Do you own a gun? No, but with the neighborhood going the way it is, I'm thinking about getting one for self defense, and defense of my cubs ...

4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite? This is kind of the same as cheese. I don't often get to choose the flavor, I just kind of ransack the campsite, and ingest whatever's there, so I'll say all of them.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? The closest I've come to a Doctor was a couple of Summer's ago, when there was a Doctor out hunting in the woods. They kind of snuck up on me, so sh*t yeah, I was nervous.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they are delicious. Again, kind of a delicacy for me, since I don't get to choose what campers bring up with em. Would be better if they were 'children flavored' vs Pork, but who's complaining ...

7. Favorite Holiday Movie? Oh wow, tons ... Loved 'The Bear', 'Yogi's First Christmas', 'Winnie the Pooh and the Christmas Tree', although that was the least realistic ... I mean, I can't stand honey ...

8. Favorite thing to drink in the morning? Creek Water with a splash of Salmon or Trout flavoring ...

9. Can you do push ups? Sure, but whats the point for me?

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry. The other day, I bit this guy's arm, and he had this watch on ... I gave it to the cubs, and they love playing with it, because its kind of shiny. Not something you find in caves. So, I guess yeah, that thing ...

11. What's your favorite hobby? Oh Wow, LOVE to eat, to freak out humans, although I'm calming down now with the kids ...

12. Do you have A.D.D? ... yeah, not following ...

13. What trait do you hate about yourself? Between the months of about October and April, I just feel like the laziest Bear ever ...

14. Middle Name? ... the ...

15. Name 3 thoughts this exact moment:

-I really need to lose some weight ...

-Food ...

-Still Food ...

16. What do you read in the bathroom? You know, I kind of go whenever I feel like it, so, I guess whatever rock or leaf or tree branch happens to be nearby ...

17. Current Worry? That I'm not going to be able to control my hunger, and I'll end up biting your face ...

18. Current hate right now? Never changes ... hunters ...

19. Favorite place to be? The forest ...

20. How did you bring in the New Year? Slept right through it ...

21. Where would you like to go? To a campsite with a variety of cheeses and hot dogs (Ha!)

22 . Name three people who will complete this? No idea ...

23. Do you own slippers? Well, my paws are kind of, naturally fuzzy, I guess, so, no ...

24. What shirt are you wearing? Pretty topless right now.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Haven't had that pleasure ... would think it might be kind of pointless, since I can make it through an entire winter in a cave without any blankets.

26. Can you whistle? nope.

27. Favorite color? Red ... blood red ...

28. Would you be a pirate? No ... they taste terrible.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything fish like. I sort of 'shower' in streams, so I like to sing things that attract fish so I can snack while I bathe ...

30. What is your favorite name? Geraldine ...

31. Favorite boy's name? Boo Boo ...

32. What's in your pocket right now? Don't have any ... sorry ...

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Being asked to complete this thing !

34. What vehicle do you drive? Yeah, can't do that ... although I've had relatives who learned to drive little fire trucks in circus' and stuff ...

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Wow ... well, once I fought two other grizzlies to the death, and had some head wounds from that. There was one time that this mountain lion jumped on my back, and that turned out to be unpleasant for both of us, but of course, I'm still here ... then, one time I stepped on needle in my paw ... THAT SUCKED ...

36. How many TVs are in your house? Yeah, a TV is ???

38. What is the best memory as a child? Probably first time I snuck up on a human, and he literally peed on himself ... I was dyin for a week after that ... so funny ...

39. Do you have any pets? We have various woodland animals that we like to keep around and play with until we get hungry ...

40. Does someone have a crush on you? You know, I kind of randomly mate ... sometimes I get called a slut or dirty whore for that, but I just think its natural ...

41. Your favorite books? Probably Winnie the Pooh ...

42. Do you collect anything? The Skulls of humans I have conquered ...

43. Favorite sports team? Chicago Bears

44. What song do you want played at y .... (Bear Ate Interviewer at this time) ...

BobCats in Brazos County

2009-07-14T18:47:00.005+02:00

Brazos County authorities are warning residents of possible rabies cases following what they say was an unusual bobcat attack.

Saturday morning, Sheriff Chris Kirk says a person at a

home near FM 2038, Cobb and Saxon Roads was bitten by a bobcat in what was an unprovoked attack.

Animal control deputies, game wardens and state health officials have all said such an attack is unusual and may be an indicator that the bobcat was rabid.

The animal in question has not been caught, and the bite victim is set to undergo rabies shots as a result.

Kirk also notes a feral cat bite incident back on May 10 on Mize Road near this most recent incident, one that did turn out to be positive for rabies.

"This incident should serve as a warning to all in the community that wildlife is ever present and that contact with any wild animal should be avoided," Kirk wrote in a statement Monday. "If you believe that a domestic or wild animal is rabid and you or one of your domestic animals has been exposed, contact your local animal control authority immediately."

Awesome. I just need to publicly thank my wife here in this post for having a friend who happens to be getting married this weekend near where this bobcat attack. If your favorite blogger does not return Monday, then of course, the Animal Uprising 2012 has claimed him ...

I would feel much better about this if they had caught the cat, but of course, thats asking far too much. Sure, no problems to let an animal out there, attacking humans without provocation, run free ... awesome ...

SwampSharks ...

2009-07-14T00:09:00.004+02:00

HENDERSON, LA (WAFB) - Bass, catfish, and perch make for a great fish fry down on the bayou, but lately, the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries has found sharks in inland waters of the Atchafalaya Basin Swamp.

Most people have a preconceived notion that sharks are found in the ocean. While that's certainly true, sharks are also being found among the beautiful cypress trees in the waters of the Atchafalaya. "Well, I guess this is a swamp, shark that lives in the swamp," said Mike Walker with Wildlife and Fisheries. "You could call it a swamp shark."

Walker has pictures of bull sharks that were caught among the inland waters in Louisiana. He says sharks have likely been around these parts for decades. However, they're noticing them more because they now take huge samples of species in different waterways in Louisiana and that's turning up sharks. It's no surprise for long time Atchafalaya swamp tour guide Curtis Allemond. "Oh, I used to catch 'em up on the river when the river's low, yeah (laughs)," he said when asked if he had ever seen any sharks in the swamp.

The bull shark is particularly troubling for Walker, in part due to their natural threatening nature. "They're fairly aggressive sharks. They're probably responsible for the majority of the attacks on human beings." Walker says there are no known inland shark attacks in Louisiana. The bull sharks are not just hanging around the bayous and swamps. They have been caught some 900 miles up the Mississippi River.

"They have been captured in St. Louis. They have traveled 2500 miles up the Amazon. They have some mechanism in their make-up that allows them to process freshwater and not require high salinity to live." It may seem hard to believe that in the deep swamp of Louisiana bull sharks, one of the most dangerous species of shark, are swimming in the swamp.

For those of you that can't really comprehend the brevity of this, let your friends at Animal Uprising 2012 provide you with a map ... See Here:

Where it says Ocean, that is 'The Ocean', where sharks normally live and eat people. That extra Circle, with arrows pointing to it ... thats where the Sharks have moved to ... its a freakin swamp, like with crocodiles, and bass fishing and stuff. They've built an interstate bridge over it.

So, what this basically means is that Sharks can now swim up under I-10, which is a man made interstate about halfway up that map there, and jump up to kill you. And I don't mean maim you, or tickle you, I mean mother F-in kill you ... in freshwater ... while you're driving ... maybe it hasn't happened ... yet ... but sooner or later ...

I mean, what the hell are sharks doing in a swamp anyway? Really? Next thing we know, we'll have shark attacks in our lakes, ponds, streams, bathtubs ... Yup, we're definitely screwed ...

Anderson Cooper Believes ...

2009-07-13T23:52:00.000+02:00

All I can say is, Thanks Luanne for this one ... Anderson speaks for himself here ...

Worms, Aliens ... or the Animal Uprising ?!?!?!?!?

2009-07-02T15:54:00.002+02:00

So, what the hell is this thing?

Thus far, I've read its 'Slime Mold', its 'Tubifex Worms' (plural ... a bunch of worms that look like one thing), and/or that its Alien in nature.

Two minor observations I'd like to make;

1 - Don't drink the water in Raleigh North Carolina
2 - When these things hatch, and/or spawn from their cocoons, don't say we didn't try to warn you.

Simply put, further evidence that the Animal Uprising 2012 is coming, has already begun, and is very, very real. We are all doomed, and you have been warned. Again.

WTF JULY?!?

2009-07-01T21:28:00.003+02:00

A 12-foot pet albino Burmese python escaped its cage early this morning and slithered into the room of a 2-year-old child in Sumter County where the reptile wrapped around the toddler and suffocated her.

Joy Hill, spokeswoman with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said investigators were at the scene, a home in Oxford, north of Wildwood.

Sheriff's officials said that the snake was a family pet, along with another six-foot python. The incident occurred around 9:30 a.m. today at a home on County Road 466 west of The Villages.

Officials identified the victim as a Shayunna Hare.

Sheriff's Lt. Bobby Caruthers said that both snakes remained in the house this afternoon and that deputies were awaiting a warrant to get into the home to retrieve the reptiles.

He said that the snake's owner, Charles Jason Darnell, 32, who was identified as the boyfriend of the girl's mother, Jaren Hare, 23, awoke and found the snake missing from its cage. Concerned about the toddler, he ran into the little girl's room and found the snake atop the child.

He grabbed a knife and stabbed the snake until it loosed its grip. He then called 911, Caruthers said.

The girl was dead when authorities arrived about 10 a.m. Caruthers said.

Darnell told deputies that he left the snake inside a bag that was placed inside an aquarium when the family went to sleep on Tuesday night.

Hill, with the fish and wildlife commission, said Darnell does not have the required permit to own a Burmese python, considered a "reptile of concern" because of its threat to humans and its impact on the environment if it is set free or escapes. An owner must show experience in handling snakes to obtain the permit, she said. Having a python without a permit is a second-degree misdemeanor.

Two other children also live in the home, Caruthers said.

Pythons are not a native species, but are a popular pet among snake owners. They are constrictors and kill their pray by wrapping themselves around the victim and squeezing. Pythons can grow to more than 25 feet. Thousands have escaped into the Everglades over the past decade, and are wreaking havoc with the ecosystem, wildlife officials say.

Darnell and Hare, who have been together for about a year, were being questioned at the sheriff's office this afternoon. No charges were immediately filed.

WTF???

July 1st comes, and we have two ... TWO ... Animal Uprisings in one day, resulting in horrific human casualty?

Look, all jokes aside, this guys Charles Jason Darnell, needs to go away for a long, long time ... you don't put a killer snake in a freakin bag, fail to secure it, and then go to bed like its nothing, Animal Uprising or not.

Idiots.

We at AU2012 are extremely sorry for this child, and its family.

Don't let your elephants wander....

2009-07-01T17:28:00.003+02:00

Because this is what happens:

Police are investigating a horrific attack in southern Thailand, where an elephant stomped three rubber plantation workers to death, police said.

The female beast first crushed a 44-year-old male worker who was working in a farm on Wednesday morning, police Lieutenant Sonjit Ma-ou told reporters.

"It then freely wandered into another plantation a few miles away and attacked a 38-year-old woman," he said. "Her husband saw it charging toward her, grabbing her body with its trunk and hurling her on the ground before stomping on her body."

Somjit said another victim, a 51-year-old woman, was found dead in a nearby plantation later in the morning.

"There was no witness in the last case, but we found footprints of the beast and from the manner in which she was killed, we believe it was an attack by the same elephant," Somjit said.

The attacks happened in Trang province, where the 38-year-old elephant, named Natalie, worked pulling rubberwood. The animal was eventually recaptured by her handler.

"All three victims died instantly after she stamped on their chests and stomachs, breaking their ribs," Sonjit said.

The authorities were investigating whether the handler was negligent in letting the animal wander freely.

I can't even begin to comment on this one... it's so sad... but such a blatant attack....

Can you imagine - here you are working in your farm, trying to make a good honest living and then out of nowhere an elephant wanders up and then proceeds to stomp on you... UGH... don't piss off the elephants....

Never Bring a Fox to a Knife Fight

2009-06-30T04:51:00.003+02:00

A 42-year-old Lake City man sitting on a bench near Building 9 at Lake City Community College was attacked by a fox Wednesday morning and a person who helped him is being sought, a Florida wildlife commission official said.

A fox grabbed the back of Richard McGlew Jr.’s leg, said Karen Parker of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. McGlew grabbed the fox’s tail or its rear leg to pull it off of him, and the fox bit his hand. The fox would not let go, Parker said.

Another person, believed to be an LCCC student, used a pocket knife to slit the animal’s throat. It let go of McGlew.

Columbia County Emergency Medical Services responded and treated McGlew at the scene. He refused ambulance transport to a hospital.

Columbia County Deputy Brian Rix followed a blood trail and located the fox. FWC Capt. Roy Brown picked up the animal and took it to the animal shelter, Parker said.

From there, it went to the Columbia County Health Department.

The Health Department sent a specimen to be tested. Results are expected after 4 p.m. today, said Sallie Ford, environmental health director.

Ford said she does not anticipate a rabies alert to be issued, because there have not been any positive results for rabies in a long time.

Brown said the FWC is looking for the unidentified man.

“We need to find out who the Good Samaritan was who helped,” Brown said. “We don’t know if he was bitten or scratched. If the fox tests positive for rabies, the man who assisted Mr. McGlew will also need treatment.”

Parker warned about animals in the wild.

“There is always rabies in the environment,” Parker said. “Never approach a wild or stray animal. If a wild animal acts friendly toward you, it means it either has rabies or it has been fed before. In either case, you should avoid that animal.”

Probably just in this one case will I ever question the level of 'defending' here ... I mean, I can totally see taking a knife in the water when you're going to find a great white shark, or a giant squid, or in the wild when you track a bear for dinner or something, but slitting a fox's throat because it bit a guy on a community college campus?

Dontchya think that maybe you could've like, punched it in the face, or pulled really hard on its tail? Is this kinda how you solve everything Johnny Lawrence?

"Oww ... Fox Bit me ..."
"Slit the Throat"
*Bewildered Look
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"No Sensei"
"No Mercy"

Just tell me you at least tried Crane Kick technique before 'Slit the Throat' ...

Signs of the Apocalypse

2009-06-30T04:43:00.002+02:00

End Times are here folks ...

A Swarm of Locusts ...

Addis Ababa - Swarms of locusts have invaded northwest Ethiopia, posing a serious threat to crops there and putting the region as well as the entire Horn of Africa at risk of further food shortages, officials said on Monday.

Just over a week since the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) warned of new locust hordes descending on Eritrea and Sudan after devastating swarms hit west and northern Africa last year, Ethiopian authorities said the pests had already been spotted in Tigray and Amhara districts.

"Some groups of locusts, most probably coming from Sudan have flown into different localities in Tigray and Amhara," said Fikre Markos, the head of the crop protection department at Ethiopia's agriculture ministry.

Peter Odiyo, director of the desert locust control organisation for eastern Africa, said aerial surveillance had been mounted to try to track the swarms but that one main group appeared to have split up making such efforts difficult.

"It is ... now flying in different groups, that is why it is difficult to get an idea of the size of the whole population", he said.

"This is worrying considering that these locusts have been troubling the whole of western Africa for several months and they are now extending towards the east," Odiyo said.

Most troubling, he said, was the potential for the locusts to lay eggs thereby increasing their possible devastation by reproducing and placing both human and livestock food stocks at risk.

"The food security part is the main concern because by damaging crops they also damage livestock and wildlife, so that the cattle might also die, not having enough grass to eat," Odiyo said.

And Not to be Outdone by their cousins, a horde of Grasshoppers in the USA ...

TOOELE, Utah (AP) — An ambitious director might look at Mitch Halligan's property and see an instant B-movie classic: "Invasion of the Grasshoppers."

The place is overrun with the greasy little bugs. With each step you take on his property, the squirmy inch-long grasshoppers jump for cover in every direction. Those that don't crunch under foot perch themselves atop tall grass stalks, crawl up pant legs or munch through gardens.

Across the road isn't much better. Grasshoppers blanketed the neighbors' entryway a few days ago and forced them to come in through the back door.

"I'd call this the closest that I've seen to a plague in a long time," Halligan said.

Grasshoppers are regular summer visitors and a perennial crop-eating pest for farmers, but this year's invasion in Tooele County west of Salt Lake City is worse than anyone can remember. Tooele County commissioners have been swamped with calls about grasshoppers, particularly by people living next to undeveloped land where grasshoppers hatch — sometimes up to 2,000 per square foot.

"There's like 100 times more grasshoppers than what we're used to," said Bruce Clegg, a county commissioner whose family has lived in the area for generations.

Many of the culprits this year are clear-winged grasshoppers, which began hatching several weeks ago and have moved like an unyielding wave across the parts of the landscape ever since.

Northeast of Tooele, the grasshoppers showed up suddenly and attacked Leana Jackson's backyard garden, infiltrated her lawn and even found their way into her house and car.

"They're just a nuisance," Jackson said.

Alone, the brown and tan grasshoppers are small and more likely to tickle than terrify. But in large numbers — and they almost always come in large numbers — they are a hungry force to be reckoned with as they search for grasses and other plants to eat.

Gosh, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, swarms of locusts AND grasshoppers, and we've got the beginnings of a bonafied Animal Uprising 2012 folks ...

... Because It's Friday, You Ain't Got No Job, You a Kangaroo, and You ain't Got Sh*t To Do ...

2009-06-30T04:31:00.002+02:00

Poppy growners in the Australian state of Tasmania have long wondered about a strange phenomenon. The crop circles that have been known to, well, crop up in poppy fields have even inspired legends, the Mercury of Hobart, Tasmania, reports . Like crop circles elsewhere in the world, the poppy circles were mysterious, but no answers were forthcoming.

Mystery solved ... maybe.

Tasmania supplies about half of the world's legally-produced opium , which is made from poppies and used to make painkillers like morphine. But, of course, it's important to safeguard the plant, which is used not only in legal painkillers, but also to produce heroin.

Security for the poppy plants was the subject of discussion at a recent parliamentary hearing, which took an unexpected turn when Lara Giddings, attorney general of Tasmania, spoke of a strange discovery.

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Giddings told those assembled. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

So ... high wallabies hopping in circles cause the crop-circle phenomenon? Not everyone believes the story, but other animals -- deer and sheep, for example -- have been known to enjoy the poppy plant and act strangely afterward.

The magnificently named Lyndley Chopper, a 30-year poppy-growing veteran and recent retiree, told Australia's ABC News that he'd witnessed odd behavior from area wallabies who'd been in his fields. "They would just come and eat some poppies and they would go away. They'd come back again and they would do their circle work in the paddock," Chopping said.

But the former poppy grower didn't seem concerned about the idea of chemical dependence on the part of the wallabies. "They seem to know when they've had enough," he recalled of his encounters with the small kangaroo relatives. "They'll still be around and they would leave them alone. It's hard to work out. Didn't seem to be any real pattern to their behavior."

Don't these things have sacks on the front of their bellies? Is anyone thinking to look there? This solves the whole 'Drug War' crisis ...

"Hey, Why are all the illegal druge producing plants missing?"

"Wallabies."

"Oh ... want a sandwich?"

"Sure."

Thats about what happens when people notice animals and their illegal drug usage. No telling what wallabies could get away with in international smuggling rings. Just look at the size of that animals midsection in the picture ... marijuana, check ... cocaine, check ... heroine, check ... child slave labor, check ...

Israeli Mecha Robot Snake

2009-06-18T04:39:00.005+02:00

Israeli defense researchers are working on a robot snake that can sneak through cracks and into buildings to send back sound and video of enemy movements — or even plant explosives.

That's according to the Jerusalem Post, which cites a news report from Israel's Channel 2.

A video clip shows the six-foot-long robot, covered in camouflage, winding its way through rocks and tree stumps, its "head" a flat camera lens ringed by LED lights.

The "snake" can also prop up its front sections vertically to peer over obstacles.

It's remote-controlled by a soldier, who uses a laptop both to guide the robot and to see and hear what it's feeding back.

The Israel Defense Forces plan to equip combat units with search-and-surveillance models, which could also be useful to find survivors trapped within collapsed buildings.

Future models might be used to plant bombs in enemy facilities.

WTF Israeli Defense Force?!?

Apparently, if you're Jewish, its not enough that Snakes (Natural) snakes will be part of the animal uprising ... its only a REAL uprising if you create a robot animal to help the Animals exterminate humans.

I know, I know ... Its meant so the Israelis can fight other humans ... but c'mon ... if you're reading this, then you know how this is going to go ...

-Snake is busy in Animal Uprising 2012 decimating humans

-Snake finds mechaSnake

-Snake thinks 'Sweet ... I'll send mechaSnake to do this for me'

-Snake goes on holiday while mechaSnake continues to destroy the human population

Whats that you say? The mechaSnake will destroy the real snake? Ha Ha my friends ... historical fact that robot animals do not fare well against their natural born brethren ...

I rest my case ... Any Questions?

Thats what I thought ...

Bear in Driveway

2009-06-18T04:15:00.003+02:00

A western North Carolina woman has been treated and released after being attacked in her driveway by a black bear.

The Asheville Citizen-Times reported Monday that Buncombe County emergency officials said the woman was attacked Sunday night at her home.

A spokesman at Mission Hospital in Asheville said the woman was treated and released.

The woman's name wasn't released.

Can Someone tell me how a woman is attacked by a Bear ... at her house ... in her driveway ... AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT ... and we can't even get a MF'in name ?!?!?!

WhyTF would we not want to teach people how to survive something like this ... or is this a special human, anti-animal uprising superpower she his privvy to, while the rest of humanity is doomed to extinction?!?

WTF?!?!?!??!

Doggie Grenade

2009-06-10T20:20:00.002+02:00

BERLIN -- A dog playing fetch in Germany brought its owner a live U.S. hand grenade from the Second World War.

Police in the western town of Erkrath said yesterday they were called by the dog's 40-year-old owner who stopped walking her pooch when she recognized the "rusty" object it was carrying was a weapon.

Police summoned a munitions expert Sunday to identify and defuse the grenade.

Grenades and bombs left over from the war are still often found in Germany.

Sometimes whole streets in neighbourhoods are evacuated so that such devices can be safely defused.

Well, this dog, while smart enough to somehow almost manage to kill its owner in a clever way, just happened to barely miss the mark. Good thing for this dog is, he'll probably get another shot at it; he most likely just wagged his tail, and walked around with a 'What did I do?' look on his face.

You know exactly what you did Dog ... you're just lucky your owner doesn't buy into the Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Chimp Food

2009-06-10T20:14:00.002+02:00

BERLIN - Doctors say the Berlin Zoo's director will likely lose the finger a chimpanzee nearly bit off as he tried to feed it.

Director Bernhard Blaszkiewitz was feeding walnuts to a male chimpanzee named Pedro on Monday when it bit his right index finger almost completely off.

Doctors say Blaszkiewitz underwent an eight-hour operation to reattach it, but it became infected. Surgeon Andreas Eisenschenk said Tuesday that Blaszkiewitz is likely to lose the finger.

Gee Pedro, don't you look smug ... was that finger good?

Gee Dr. Blaszkiewitz ... could it be you have completely underestimated the Animal Population? Chimps ... so like us ... the nearest thing in the evolutionary chain, don't like to be locked up in a zoo, and took an opportunity to strike at the leader of said zoo ... Really? Was this really a surprise.

Look 'Doc' ... I don't know where you got your degree, because they haven't called me to teach this course, but its coming ... you fail to acknowledge that the Animal Uprising 2012 is a real thing, and had you done so, maybe you would have been slightly more careful.

I'm not sayin, just sayin ...

Jellyfish

2009-06-09T21:48:00.005+02:00

Giant jellyfish like this one are taking over parts of the world's oceans as overfishing and other human activities open windows of opportunity for them to prosper, say researchers.

In this photo, a diver is attaching a sensor to track a monster Echizen jellyfish, which has a body almost 5 feet across, off the coast of northern Japan.

Jellyfish are normally kept in check by fish, which eat small jellyfish and compete for jellyfish food such as zooplankton, researchers said. But, with overfishing, jellyfish numbers are increasing.

These huge creatures can burst through fishing nets, as well as destroy local fisheries with their taste for fish eggs and larvae.

Anthony Richardson of CSIRO Marine & Atmospheric Research and colleagues reported their findings in the journal Trends in Ecology and Evolution to coincide with World Oceans Day.

They say climate change could also cause jellyfish populations to grow. The team believes that for the first time, water conditions could lead to what they call a "jellyfish stable state," in which jellyfish rule the oceans.

The combination of overfishing and high levels of nutrients in the water has been linked to jellyfish blooms. Nitrogen and phosphorous in run-off cause red phytoplankton blooms, which create low-oxygen dead zones where jellyfish survive, but fish can't, researchers said.

"(There is) a jellyfish called Nomura, which is the biggest jellyfish in the world. It can weigh 200 kilograms (440 pounds), as big as a sumo wrestler and is 2 meters (6.5 feet) in diameter," Richardson said.

Richardson said jellyfish numbers are increasing in Southeast Asia, the Black Sea, the Gulf of Mexico and the North Sea.

You know, there is something to be said for Metroid coming to life to dominate our faces.

Very Soon, the land animals will take part in the Animal Uprising 2012, and we, the humans, will be driven towards the oceans. By this time, of course, the Oceans will be dominated by giant jellyfish, who will encircle the human race, with the sole purpose of sucking our brains through our eye sockets.

Simply put, this will not end pretty.

We can't very well tell people to stop eating fish now can we? Because that seems to be the only solution to stop the giant Metroid jelly fish from rising up?

I'll make a deal ... I will do my part, and give up going to Long John Silvers.

Bees HATE Video Games

2009-06-05T00:42:00.003+02:00

The employees in a New York City GameStop were working as usual during Memorial Day weekend when bees suddenly appeared. Thousands of them, and they were not happy.

It is unclear exactly where the bees' hive was located or what disturbed it, but whatever the case may be, the swarm of bees kept GameStop employees from leaving the store, for fear of getting stung.

According to the local ABC news station, the swarm ... well ... swarmed outside the building and prevented GameStop employees from conducting any kind of business for hours. However, they did not lose their sense of humor. While the bee situation was being sorted out, employees hung a "Temporarily Closed Due to Bee Infestation" sign in the window. The sign also had the word "Look!" and an arrow pointing to where bees were gathered.

ABC reporters were quickly on the scene and called the police in an effort to alleviate the problem. The police department said to call the fire department, which said to call 911, which said to call 311, which said to call the New York City mayor's office. After all that, it still took two hours to get anyone to help.

Anyone other than Edward Albers, that is. Albers was labeled a "Good Samaritan" by ABC news, and with good reason. According to the report, he lured about a thousand bees (but who's counting?) into a bag, which he closed and put inside a box. The box was labeled Danger and placed inside the "Do not cross" tape that was keeping "bee watchers" back.

One such bee watcher, named Herman Leath, said, "They say somebody's on the way, but they're taking a long time to get here."

When help did eventually arrive, it came in the form of the NYPD. Yes, in the end, it was the first department ABC news called that ended up actually helping.

The NYPD sent Tony Planakis, its "bee specialist," to remove the bees. When asked how long it would take to remove the swarm, Planakis replied, "It depends, it could take a half hour, it could take an hour, could take a couple hours."

Clad in jeans, a hoodie, a bee mask and gloves, Planakis set to work.

Eventually he succeeded in his task, and nonviolently relocated the bees "upstate to his hives." GameStop employees were able to re-open the store, and business continued as usual. At least, as usual as it gets when the better part of the workday has been spent trapped inside the store for fear of a large swarm of insects.

Surprisingly, nobody was stung throughout the whole ordeal.

"It's just something I've never seen before ... this is Manhattan, New York ... I guess you could see anything," Leath the bee watcher said.

Hopefully it is not something those GameStop employees will have to see again for a long while.

From Last week, but ridiculously relevant, considering Bee's just tried to bring that airplane down in MA.

Look, I'm a fan of honey, flying, and videogames, but if these things are becoming too hazardous to my health, then I'll reconsider all three. I mean cmon ... Here's the latest Wii game, but if you buy it, you'll be stung 1 million times by this swarm of bees ... Wow, well, yeah, I guess I'll pass on WiiFit ...

Gator Pool

2009-06-05T00:38:00.002+02:00

Associated Press

Getting a gator caused a splash at one pool in Port Arthur.

Gator Country owner Gary Saurage (sarge) jumped into a residential swimming pool to extract the 5-foot-long unwanted alligator.

Larry Bland told KFDM-TV he wasn't sure who to contact when the gator turned up in his pool on Saturday.

Bland's calls to various agencies eventually led to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department and assistance from Gator Country.

Video of the removal shows Saurage wrestling with the reptile in the 10-foot-deep pool before removing the animal. Saurage says it's nesting season, which is one reason why the gators are coming out of their more reclusive habitat.

Gator Country is a combination haven for alligators, learning center and recreational complex.

Port Arthur is about 90 miles east of Houston.

Well, that Gators have decided to begin invading homes ... which means there's not much time for us now!

Bees 'N' Planes ...

2009-06-03T05:28:00.003+02:00

DANVERS — You've heard of snakes on a plane, but on Sunday there were about 10,000 bees on a plane at Beverly Airport.

A swarm of honeybees landed on the wing of a plane used for flight school training, parked on the tarmac of the airport's west side off Burley Street.

It was the type of landing the owner of Beverly Flight Center, Arne Nordeide, had never witnessed.

"I never saw anything like it," Nordeide said.

Nordeide called Danvers police, who put him in touch with a local bee removal expert, Al Wilkins of Middleton.

Wilkins arrived and used a specially designed vacuum to suck the bees off the wing and from the ground below the plane. Wilkins has relocated the bees to hives where they will produce honey.

"I thought they were crash-landed in the airport," said Wilkins, who has been removing bees from houses and structures since 1978.

Nordeide said the bees were spotted buzzing around the wing of the Piper Warrior aircraft around 11 a.m. This plane does not sit around much — it flies five to six hours a day.

"The plane had already flown around 8 a.m.," Nordeide said, "and all of a sudden, they (the bees) decided to land."

At first, the bees swarmed over the left side of the aircraft, then landed on top of the left wing. The weather was hot, Nordeide said, so that may be why they went under the wing

... Or maybe they were trying to bring the plane down?

Look, Animal Uprising incidents fail too, and in this case, the bees probably either figured that the pilot wouldn't notice them, or they simply got it all wrong, and nobody told them the plane had to be in the air before they congregated on the wing in their vain attempt to bring it down.

But, Oh DemiGods of the blogworld ... there is no way in hell Bees could bring down a plane ... is there?

... Yee All of little faith ... Its happened before my friends ...

Either way, a clear Animal Uprising 2012 incident foiled ... Yay Massachusetts ...

Squirrels = Zero Respect

2009-06-03T01:03:00.002+02:00

PORT HURON, Mich. — A brazen squirrel has been grabbing small American flags placed in a cemetery and carrying them up to its nest, which now looks as if it's bedecked in bunting.

Every Memorial Day, volunteers place the flags next to the graves of about 965 veterans buried at Mount Hope Cemetery on the city's north side. The flags were undisturbed during a Mass held Monday.

The next day, the Times Herald reported, workers at the cemetery about 55 miles northeast of Detroit noticed several wooden staffs were still in the ground, but the flags themselves had been torn off — leaving a few scraps of red, white and blue.

Cemetery workers were stumped until the mystery unfurled in front of superintendent Ron Ceglarek's eyes. He watched a squirrel detach a flag stapled to a staff and carry it up a tree to a waiting squirrel building a nest.

Ceglarek watched it happen about a dozen times.

"He plucks them right off," Ceglarek said. "If I didn't see it, and I didn't follow the squirrel, I would have never believed it. ... It looked like he had a little bandanna in his mouth."

Red, white and blue fabric is draped over the branches around the nest, about 45 feet up a spruce tree.

Ceglarek said the cemetery normally keeps the flags at the gravesites until Flag Day on June 14, but they'll likely have to come out of the ground early this year to thwart the bushy-tailed burglar.

"Maybe they are trying to tell us it is going to be a hard winter," Ceglarek said. "Why use leaves when you can get flags?"

Maybe they're trying to tell you 'Death to America' ...

The sooner you realize the Animal Uprising 2012 is a real thing, and occurrences like this aren't just funny coincidence, the safer we're all going to be. I mean really, what would happen if they found out a human was doing this? There would be outrage, Hannity would be crying like a conservative little girl, and Rush Limbaugh would turn back to painkillers.

But of course, nothing but a whimper from the media.

Underestimate the Animal Uprising 2012 at your own peril media ...

Duck Killer

2009-06-02T20:03:00.002+02:00

A 10-year-old child has been charged with animal cruelty in connection with an attack last month that presumably orphaned nine ducklings after their mother and a sibling were likely stoned to death at Hoopes Park, officials said.

Auburn Police Department Lt. Shawn Butler said it's up to the county attorney to decide whether or not to prosecute the child with the misdemeanor charge in family court.

A representative from the county attorney's office was not immediately available.

Two children younger than 13 years old were also with the 10-year-old during the alleged incident that occurred on May 17, but were not charged, Butler said.

“We can only draw the charge against the one who actually killed a duck based on the evidence,” Butler said. “Through interviews with the children and their parents we were able to determine who threw the rocks. Because we talked to the parents, they are well aware of what their kids where doing and where.”

City Manager Mark Palesh said that he and city maintenance worker Jeff Brown gathered up the ducklings a day after the attack and placed them in the park's greenhouse attached to the back of the club house. Palesh's daughter, Madeline, 11, and Brown's daughters, Alexis, 12, and Kate, 5, helped take care of the ducklings for several days.

But by the end of the week, Palesh said, two Department of Environmental Conservation officials told him he needed a migratory bird permit to take care of the ducks and that the animals would be transferred to Kindred Kingdoms Wildlife Rehabilitation in Pennellville.

Jean Soprano, president of Kindred Kingdoms, said the ducklings, which are between 4 and 6 weeks old, are now living with 10 other orphaned ducklings.

“They have doubled in size in about a week,” Soprano said. “They are eating and growing like little pigs. We want to limit their human interaction because they will be released into the wild after they grow their primary flight feathers, which won't happen until September.”

Soprano said her goal is to release them into a heated pond in the Utica area next winter, where they will learn the migratory habits from other ducks.

The ducklings cannot be released into Hoopes Park because the ducks there do not migrate, Soprano said.

But that does not mean none of them will return to Auburn.

“The female ducks will return,” Soprano said. “Ducks are matriarchal, and when the mate, they mate for life and they always return to where the female was born. It's instinct.”

Idiots ... Did it ever occur to you that the children ... the CHILDREN people are protecting us from the Animals?!? Why ... WHY! would they kill a duck for no reason? Because, there IS a Reason!!!!!!!!!!!!

Animal Uprising 2012 ... Obviously, the Children knew the ducks were evil ... there is no other explanation ... and you di*ckheads want to lock up our protectors ...

You will all suffer ...

Penguin Poop

2009-06-02T19:24:00.002+02:00

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Call it a case of high tech meeting low tech, really the lowest of tech.

British scientists are using pictures from high-powered satellites to pinpoint emperor penguin colonies in Antarctica.

The penguins are difficult to pick up on sea ice, because of their natural camouflage that helps them blend into the shadows -- so the British Antarctic Survey had to come up with another method.

Fortunately, penguin waste shows up nicely from space, staining the ice a light brown.

"We can't see actual penguins on the satellite maps because the resolution isn't good enough," said mapping expert Peter Fretwell. "But during the breeding season the birds stay at a colony for eight months. The ice gets pretty dirty and it's the guano stains that we can see."

The method helped scientists identify 38 penguin colonies -- of those, 10 were new. Of previously known colonies, six had re-located and six were not found.

"This is a very exciting development. Now we know exactly where the penguins are, the next step will be to count each colony so we can get a much better picture of population size," said penguin ecologist Phil Trathan.

"Using satellite images combined with counts of penguin numbers puts us in a much better position to monitor future population changes over time."

Estimates put the total number of penguins at between 200,000 and 400,000 breeding pairs.

Someone out there must REALLY be concerned about Penguins, as they are willing to track sh*t to find them. Could it be a diabolical plan to invade from the North? And can someone explain why, if we can find clumps of little brown sh*t on an ice cap, we can't seem to find groups of half a million black birds on a white sheet? When did this become difficult? Really?

If you see a Penguin walking down your street, its most likely because the invasion of Penguins has already begun, and the sh*t tracking has failed. Say your prayers humans.