Mayor Assassination

After months of hiding in an underground bunker in fear of my life, we have re-emergd to document the coming months. Indeed, the very last that humanity will ever see ...

A 65 year old mayor was attacked and killed by a donkey in Texas ...

HOLLYWOOD PARK, Texas -- A South Texas mayor has been found dead after apparently being attacked by a 500-pound donkey on his ranch.

The Atascosa County Sheriff’s Office said Wednesday that the death of Hollywood Park Mayor William “Bill” Bohlke appears to be an accident. Bohlke was 65.

Chief Deputy David Soward says Bohlke apparently was attacked Monday morning by a male, aggressive donkey he kept on the ranch

Crocodile Airplane Rampage

Normally, crocodiles are known to eat people's faces, limbs, intestines, etc.  That is how they kill you.  Crocodiles are not normally known to bring down planes mid flight.

The plane came down despite no apparent mechanical problems during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

It has now emerged that the crash was caused by the concealed reptile escaping and causing a stampede in the cabin, throwing the aircraft off-balance. 
 A lone survivor apparently relayed the bizarre tale to investigators.
The crocodile survived the crash, only to be dispatched with a blow from a machete.
Danny Philemotte, the Dutch pilot and 62-year-old owner of the plane's operator, Filair, struggled in vain with the controls, with Chris Wilson, his 39-year-old First Officer from Shurdington, near Cheltenham, Glocs.
The plane was on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu when the incident unfolded, on August 25.
It crashed into a house just a few hundred feet from its destination. The occupants of the property were outside at the time.
According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag.
One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.
A report of the incident said: "The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."
The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot", said the report.


How this guy got a crocodile into a duffel bag, much less a carry on, is beyond my comprehension.

Frog Crossing?

(AP) – 4 hours ago

THESSALONIKI, Greece — Thousands of frogs are still slowing traffic on a busy Greek highway, a day after a horde of them forced officials to close the road altogether.
Police said Thursday they were directing traffic around frogs on the Egnatia Highway about 20 kilometers (12.5 miles) outside Greece's second largest city, Thessaloniki.
The frogs, leaving a nearby lake to look for food, were expected to disrupt traffic through the weekend.
Police closed a section of the road Wednesday after three cars skidded off the road when the drivers tried to dodge the frogs.

Copyright © 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. 

"The Frogs, leaving a nearby lake to look for food ..."  Thats cute.  What they should have said was, "the Frogs, trying to get the hell out of Greece because the whole damn place is bankrupt, decided not to decimate the human population on their way out of town, and instead only decided on a show of force, proving how they can gridlock any human traffic or travel plans anywhere .. anytime ... " 

Think that the frogs don't know better than the humans?  See where everyone's worried the next major quake is going to hit, and what the frogs know about it ... 

Shark Magic = Better Than Anything That No Talent Hack Criss Angel Could Ever Hope To Accomplish ...

In open water, there is often no place to hide. Some sharks have overcome this problem by making themselves invisible to both prey and predators, according to a new study.
Light trickery permits the optical illusion, described in the current issue of the Journal of Experimental Marine Biology and Ecology. The findings represent the first experimental tests of shark luminescence.
Lead author Julien Claes explained to Discovery News that about 50 different shark species, or more than 10 percent of all known sharks, are luminous. This means they can produce and emit light from their bodies.
Click here to view a slide show about super shark senses.
Claes and his colleagues chose to focus on one particular luminous shark, nicknamed "the phantom hunter of the fjords": the velvet belly lantern shark.
This shark's shimmer originates from light emitting organs called photophores from underneath its body, "effectively creating a glow from that region," said Claes, a researcher in the Laboratory of Marine Biology, Earth and Life Institute at the Catholic University of Louvain.

"Since many predators have upward-looking eyes, it is a common method of camouflage in the mesopelagic zone (from 656 to 3,281 feet below the surface), although it is the first time it is demonstrated in sharks," he added. (Click for More Article) ... 


Thats right ... that means Sharks can turn Mother F'in Invisible to you and me ... so, next time you're swimming, and your leg falls off in a bloody heap, you'll have no idea how it happened ... and the sharks love it that way ...

That picture up above?  Thats a blank ocean ... just water ... because thats the last thing you'll see before you'll get your face bit in half ... 

Monkeys on the Run - Now With Facebook

Really ... 

ST. PETERSBURG - In the hours after a monkey on the lam fell into a woman's pool and then swiped some fruit from her backyard tree, fans of the wily primate cheered it for avoiding capture.

"Go little monkey, go! No cages for you," wrote a guy named Jack on the "Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay" Facebook fan page. (There were more than 30,000 fans of the elusive monkey as of Wednesday evening.)

"I sure hope 'they' don't catch you!" wrote a woman named Kathleen. "Why can't 'they' just leave you alone?"

Why, indeed? The rhesus macaque monkey has avoided capture for nearly a year. Authorities don't know where the animal came from, but some believe it could have gotten separated from a troupe of wild monkeys in an Ocala-area state park, some 118 miles north of St. Petersburg. Another possibility: the animal could have escaped from an owner who doesn't have a permit and is therefore not registered with authorities.

The creature has captivated people in Tampa Bay and beyond -- possibly because of his ability to outwit the humans trying to catch him.

"It's something that you can kind of cheer for," said Amy Ellis, a Pasco County employee who has become a fan of the monkey on Facebook. "Every day there's so much bad news. He's kind of like a little hero."

The monkey was even featured two weeks ago on "The Colbert Report" with host Stephen Colbert poking fun at the creature, who has been shot numerous times with tranquilizers, apparently unfazed. One trapper claimed the monkey was becoming a "drug addict" because of all the shots.

Does no one see whats happening here?  If one monkey can do it, then damn straight, gorillas, chimps, lions, elephants, and just about anything else can as well. And now the monkey has more 'friends' on facebook than people I've ever met in my life ... I mean WTF ??? 

Wildlife trapper Vernon Yates has tracked the monkey through three counties, and heard reports of it rummaging through trash bins, scaling the wall of an apartment complex and even hanging out by a pool behind a foreclosed home.

Yates swears it is the same monkey because of its size, coloring and behavior.

"He is an extremely intelligent monkey," Yates said. "He is very, very street-wise. He knows to check traffic."

If he catches it, Yates will have the animal tested for disease. If negative, the trapper will try to find the monkey a home, likely a private individual who has a permit to care for exotic wildlife. State wildlife officials are also serious about catching the evasive primate. "That animal is so much quicker and more powerful than people perceive," said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Dude, Yates ... its a monkey bro ... at this point in time, how are you even employed still employed?  I hear everybody complaining about the democrats wasting money right now, but WTF are you Yates, but a drain on my taxes???

Check the Monkey's Facebook Page Here ...

The Immortal Invasion

As if sharks, whales, piranhas, and other water-born terrors were not enough ... say hello to an animal demigod ...

The turritopsis nutricula species of jellyfish may be the only animal in the world to have truly discovered the fountain of youth.
Since it is capable of cycling from a mature adult stage to an immature polyp stage and back again, there may be no natural limit to its life span. Scientists say the hydrozoan jellyfish is the only known animal that can repeatedly turn back the hands of time and revert to its polyp state (its first stage of life).
The key lies in a process called transdifferentiation, where one type of cell is transformed into another type of cell. Some animals can undergo limited transdifferentiation and regenerate organs, such as salamanders, which can regrow limbs. Turritopsi nutricula, on the other hand, can regenerate its entire body over and over again. Researchers are studying the jellyfish to discover how it is able to reverse its aging process.
Because they are able to bypass death, the number of individuals is spiking. They're now found in oceans around the globe rather than just in their native Caribbean waters.  "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion," says Dr. Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute. 


Slowly, and ever so surely, these immortal jellyfish will come to dominate the seas, stinging (and devouring) anything that sets foot in the water.  Cabo San Lucas?  Gone.  Cancun?  have fun spring breakers ... don't forget to sign your wills before you get on that plane ... Kneel before you sea gods!

Clearly, its the first step in limiting where the human population can run to during the Animal Uprising 2012 ... Now less than two years and counting!

Seeking Croc Farm

THE UK’s first crocodile zoo could be built in West Oxfordshire.
Shaun Foggett — who keeps 24 crocodiles and alligators, which grow up to 4m long, at his Witney home — is looking to buy enough land to fulfil his dream.
He has set up website crocodilesoftheworld.co.uk to help with his search.
The 30-year-old joiner has been saving for the past two years, and has secured much of the £100,000 start-up-costs.
Mr Foggett said: “I have got the largest collection of crocodiles in the UK.
The crocodile zoo will be the first in the country, there is nothing else in the UK like it.
“Most places just carry one species of crocodile as they are not set up to handle anymore.”
He needs about 5,000 sqft, or more, to set up the enclosures, which will house three of the rarest crocodiles in the world. He said: “I have written to quite a lot of farmers and some of the bigger estates in and around the Witney area.
“Lots of people have been interested, but with not enough room.” 

... Thats because they're not fucking retarded Mr. Fogget ...

If you've ever been to England, then you know the houses aren't the biggest places there, unless your first name is Queen, Duke, Prince, or some other royalty.

The fact that this guy has willingly placed 24 Crocodiles in his home can really only mean one of two things:

-1- The Crocs have mind control over him
or
-2- He's fucking retarded.

At Least his offspring have shown some sense ...

Mr Foggett lives with fiancee Lisa Green, 29, and children Billy, six, Louie, four, and eight-month-old Shania.
He keeps his unusual pets in outbuildings in the garden of his home in Bibury Close.
He said: “To be honest, the crocodiles have always been around since before the children were born, so it’s very normal to them.
“They show a bit of interest, but there is not a lot they can help me with because of the nature of the animals. 

... And thats because they want to live to see 12 ... except for the 8 month old, who's just hoping to make it to her next breast feeding.

Fogget finishes this article out with a gem ...

“It’s also about educating people. People think these animals lie in rivers waiting to attack the next human walking past, but there is a lot more to them.” 

Thats right Foggett ... you forgot to mention the lakes, ponds, streams, closets, and bathtubs that they wait in as well.


Idiots ...

The US Government Has a Plan to Defend Us ...

When pilots or airport workers notice the presence of birds at BWI, one of the nation's 25 busiest airports, Smith is often the first to get the call. A 1995 graduate of Virginia Tech in wildlife biology, he is one of many USDA employees deployed to U.S. airports to coordinate efforts against birds and other species that can interfere with flights in the air or on the ground. Trained at college in attracting and conserving wildlife, Smith has had to learn on the job how to reverse those skills to repel and eradicate animals on BWI's 3,500-plus acres. According to Smith, who came to the airport in 2005, the collision of birds and planes is as old as aviation itself. "The Wright Brothers were the first folks to be involved in a bird strike," he said. At BWI, the risks are posed by a wide variety of species, ranging from bulky Canada geese to majestic herons and tiny starlings. The first line of defense is habitat control, Smith said. That means eliminating vegetation that would be attractive to birds - berry-bearing shrubs, for example. Another technique used at BWI, Smith said, is to build storm water management ponds that drain quickly, even after a heavy rain, so water birds are not attracted to the area. Airport officials also work with local landowners to eliminate risks on their property. "A lot of that work goes beyond the fence," Smith said. Smith said airport officials work diligently to destroy nests on or near the airport, noting, "We haven't had any Canada geese nesting here for more than five, six years." But Avian Enemy No. 1 at BWI, Smith said, are sea gulls - the most commonly struck species worldwide. They are especially numerous this time of year, he said, dropping in to dine on earthworms when the ground gets saturated. "Gulls like large open spaces and that's what an airport is," he said. At BWI, Smith said, most bird strikes occur at heights less than 500 feet - far lower than the 4,000 feet at which the US Airways jet hit a migratory flock over New York. That bird strike represented what aviators consider the worst possible scenario: hitting large birds in a large flock ...  

Can we count on the government to protect us?  Do we really think we have a chance?

Look, if the government takes it seriously enough to pay people to 'defend' our airports against animals, then you fools best not be questioning my logic ...  

Returning to Duty ...

I can't explain why I've been gone awhile in detail.

I will say that if you're involved in warning the public about a deadly impending doom (such as this blog here), and certain factions of the government want that kept from the public, well then you may be forced to go on a break ...

Not saying that I liked missing Christmas, but just sayin ...

Piranha Invasion of Florida ... Kid is Sad ...

PALM SPRINGS — Now swimming in a pond near you: Ferocious razor-toothed predators direct from the Amazon River basin.
A boy fishing last month in a pond near his condo complex, at Arabian Road and Lake Arbor Drive, pulled from the water not the bass or catfish he was used to but a writhing, red-bellied piranha.
Ten days later, officials with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission combed the same pond and discovered a second piranha lurking beneath the surface. Investigators said the toothy fish probably were kept as pets, a crime punishable by a $1,000 fine in Florida, before their owners turned them loose.
In response, wildlife officers this morning were plying the roughly four-acre pond with rotenone fish poison, an "extreme measure" meant to kill off any piranha still hiding out there, said wildlife commission spokeswoman Gabriella Ferraro.
As a side effect, the effort also will kill every other fish living in the pond.
Which ruined Darrin Duchene's day. The Palm Springs man said his son, Jake, who angled the piranha on Oct. 13, grew up fishing the pond.
"He's come back with every strange fish there is," said Duchene, remembering times Jake turned up with peacock bass and a Jaguar Guapote, a fish native to Central America.
He recalled the day a month ago Jake caught the piranha.
"I was sitting in my chair and he came running in. He said he saw a bunch of minnows getting torn up. He cast his line in there and, boom, kind of snagged it in the top of the head," Duchene said. "He ran over and said, 'Dad! Dad! I caught a piranha!'"
"I said, 'No way.' "
But, peering down at the fish, Duchene had to admit it looked exactly like the ones he had seen on the Discovery Channel.
"We had him in a zip-lock bag, and he was flipping around for probably 20 minutes. He was a big, tough one," Duchene said.
They called the wildlife commission, and an officer came and "seized the piranha for further investigation," the officer's report said.
The Duchene's gave up the fish reluctantly.
"I wanted to keep it so I could get it mounted for him, because nobody has a piranha," Duchene said. "He said they might give it back to us."
As wildlife officers poisoned his pond this morning, Duchene said he regretted ever calling them.
"All the years of enjoyment, for them to come wipe out that place, that's freakin' tragedy," he said. "That is terrible. That'll break my son's heart."


Look, you may think that having a piranhan mounted on your wall is cool, and you may be the first kid on your block to do so, but lets look at the facts here:

-Piranhas are from the Amazon
-The Amazon is not in Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon somehow have made it to Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon made it into a pond in Florida

If Piranhas from the Amazon can find a way into your pond behind your house, then I do not want to have a Piranha on my wall when it finds a way into my freaking house ... and it will ... oh yes, it will ...