Monkeys on the Run - Now With Facebook

Really ... 

ST. PETERSBURG - In the hours after a monkey on the lam fell into a woman's pool and then swiped some fruit from her backyard tree, fans of the wily primate cheered it for avoiding capture.

"Go little monkey, go! No cages for you," wrote a guy named Jack on the "Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay" Facebook fan page. (There were more than 30,000 fans of the elusive monkey as of Wednesday evening.)

"I sure hope 'they' don't catch you!" wrote a woman named Kathleen. "Why can't 'they' just leave you alone?"

Why, indeed? The rhesus macaque monkey has avoided capture for nearly a year. Authorities don't know where the animal came from, but some believe it could have gotten separated from a troupe of wild monkeys in an Ocala-area state park, some 118 miles north of St. Petersburg. Another possibility: the animal could have escaped from an owner who doesn't have a permit and is therefore not registered with authorities.

The creature has captivated people in Tampa Bay and beyond -- possibly because of his ability to outwit the humans trying to catch him.

"It's something that you can kind of cheer for," said Amy Ellis, a Pasco County employee who has become a fan of the monkey on Facebook. "Every day there's so much bad news. He's kind of like a little hero."

The monkey was even featured two weeks ago on "The Colbert Report" with host Stephen Colbert poking fun at the creature, who has been shot numerous times with tranquilizers, apparently unfazed. One trapper claimed the monkey was becoming a "drug addict" because of all the shots.

Does no one see whats happening here?  If one monkey can do it, then damn straight, gorillas, chimps, lions, elephants, and just about anything else can as well. And now the monkey has more 'friends' on facebook than people I've ever met in my life ... I mean WTF ??? 

Wildlife trapper Vernon Yates has tracked the monkey through three counties, and heard reports of it rummaging through trash bins, scaling the wall of an apartment complex and even hanging out by a pool behind a foreclosed home.

Yates swears it is the same monkey because of its size, coloring and behavior.

"He is an extremely intelligent monkey," Yates said. "He is very, very street-wise. He knows to check traffic."

If he catches it, Yates will have the animal tested for disease. If negative, the trapper will try to find the monkey a home, likely a private individual who has a permit to care for exotic wildlife. State wildlife officials are also serious about catching the evasive primate. "That animal is so much quicker and more powerful than people perceive," said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Dude, Yates ... its a monkey bro ... at this point in time, how are you even employed still employed?  I hear everybody complaining about the democrats wasting money right now, but WTF are you Yates, but a drain on my taxes???

Check the Monkey's Facebook Page Here ...

The Immortal Invasion

As if sharks, whales, piranhas, and other water-born terrors were not enough ... say hello to an animal demigod ...

The turritopsis nutricula species of jellyfish may be the only animal in the world to have truly discovered the fountain of youth.
Since it is capable of cycling from a mature adult stage to an immature polyp stage and back again, there may be no natural limit to its life span. Scientists say the hydrozoan jellyfish is the only known animal that can repeatedly turn back the hands of time and revert to its polyp state (its first stage of life).
The key lies in a process called transdifferentiation, where one type of cell is transformed into another type of cell. Some animals can undergo limited transdifferentiation and regenerate organs, such as salamanders, which can regrow limbs. Turritopsi nutricula, on the other hand, can regenerate its entire body over and over again. Researchers are studying the jellyfish to discover how it is able to reverse its aging process.
Because they are able to bypass death, the number of individuals is spiking. They're now found in oceans around the globe rather than just in their native Caribbean waters.  "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion," says Dr. Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute. 


Slowly, and ever so surely, these immortal jellyfish will come to dominate the seas, stinging (and devouring) anything that sets foot in the water.  Cabo San Lucas?  Gone.  Cancun?  have fun spring breakers ... don't forget to sign your wills before you get on that plane ... Kneel before you sea gods!

Clearly, its the first step in limiting where the human population can run to during the Animal Uprising 2012 ... Now less than two years and counting!

Seeking Croc Farm

THE UK’s first crocodile zoo could be built in West Oxfordshire.
Shaun Foggett — who keeps 24 crocodiles and alligators, which grow up to 4m long, at his Witney home — is looking to buy enough land to fulfil his dream.
He has set up website crocodilesoftheworld.co.uk to help with his search.
The 30-year-old joiner has been saving for the past two years, and has secured much of the £100,000 start-up-costs.
Mr Foggett said: “I have got the largest collection of crocodiles in the UK.
The crocodile zoo will be the first in the country, there is nothing else in the UK like it.
“Most places just carry one species of crocodile as they are not set up to handle anymore.”
He needs about 5,000 sqft, or more, to set up the enclosures, which will house three of the rarest crocodiles in the world. He said: “I have written to quite a lot of farmers and some of the bigger estates in and around the Witney area.
“Lots of people have been interested, but with not enough room.” 

... Thats because they're not fucking retarded Mr. Fogget ...

If you've ever been to England, then you know the houses aren't the biggest places there, unless your first name is Queen, Duke, Prince, or some other royalty.

The fact that this guy has willingly placed 24 Crocodiles in his home can really only mean one of two things:

-1- The Crocs have mind control over him
or
-2- He's fucking retarded.

At Least his offspring have shown some sense ...

Mr Foggett lives with fiancee Lisa Green, 29, and children Billy, six, Louie, four, and eight-month-old Shania.
He keeps his unusual pets in outbuildings in the garden of his home in Bibury Close.
He said: “To be honest, the crocodiles have always been around since before the children were born, so it’s very normal to them.
“They show a bit of interest, but there is not a lot they can help me with because of the nature of the animals. 

... And thats because they want to live to see 12 ... except for the 8 month old, who's just hoping to make it to her next breast feeding.

Fogget finishes this article out with a gem ...

“It’s also about educating people. People think these animals lie in rivers waiting to attack the next human walking past, but there is a lot more to them.” 

Thats right Foggett ... you forgot to mention the lakes, ponds, streams, closets, and bathtubs that they wait in as well.


Idiots ...

The US Government Has a Plan to Defend Us ...

When pilots or airport workers notice the presence of birds at BWI, one of the nation's 25 busiest airports, Smith is often the first to get the call. A 1995 graduate of Virginia Tech in wildlife biology, he is one of many USDA employees deployed to U.S. airports to coordinate efforts against birds and other species that can interfere with flights in the air or on the ground. Trained at college in attracting and conserving wildlife, Smith has had to learn on the job how to reverse those skills to repel and eradicate animals on BWI's 3,500-plus acres. According to Smith, who came to the airport in 2005, the collision of birds and planes is as old as aviation itself. "The Wright Brothers were the first folks to be involved in a bird strike," he said. At BWI, the risks are posed by a wide variety of species, ranging from bulky Canada geese to majestic herons and tiny starlings. The first line of defense is habitat control, Smith said. That means eliminating vegetation that would be attractive to birds - berry-bearing shrubs, for example. Another technique used at BWI, Smith said, is to build storm water management ponds that drain quickly, even after a heavy rain, so water birds are not attracted to the area. Airport officials also work with local landowners to eliminate risks on their property. "A lot of that work goes beyond the fence," Smith said. Smith said airport officials work diligently to destroy nests on or near the airport, noting, "We haven't had any Canada geese nesting here for more than five, six years." But Avian Enemy No. 1 at BWI, Smith said, are sea gulls - the most commonly struck species worldwide. They are especially numerous this time of year, he said, dropping in to dine on earthworms when the ground gets saturated. "Gulls like large open spaces and that's what an airport is," he said. At BWI, Smith said, most bird strikes occur at heights less than 500 feet - far lower than the 4,000 feet at which the US Airways jet hit a migratory flock over New York. That bird strike represented what aviators consider the worst possible scenario: hitting large birds in a large flock ...  

Can we count on the government to protect us?  Do we really think we have a chance?

Look, if the government takes it seriously enough to pay people to 'defend' our airports against animals, then you fools best not be questioning my logic ...  

Returning to Duty ...

I can't explain why I've been gone awhile in detail.

I will say that if you're involved in warning the public about a deadly impending doom (such as this blog here), and certain factions of the government want that kept from the public, well then you may be forced to go on a break ...

Not saying that I liked missing Christmas, but just sayin ...

Piranha Invasion of Florida ... Kid is Sad ...

PALM SPRINGS — Now swimming in a pond near you: Ferocious razor-toothed predators direct from the Amazon River basin.
A boy fishing last month in a pond near his condo complex, at Arabian Road and Lake Arbor Drive, pulled from the water not the bass or catfish he was used to but a writhing, red-bellied piranha.
Ten days later, officials with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission combed the same pond and discovered a second piranha lurking beneath the surface. Investigators said the toothy fish probably were kept as pets, a crime punishable by a $1,000 fine in Florida, before their owners turned them loose.
In response, wildlife officers this morning were plying the roughly four-acre pond with rotenone fish poison, an "extreme measure" meant to kill off any piranha still hiding out there, said wildlife commission spokeswoman Gabriella Ferraro.
As a side effect, the effort also will kill every other fish living in the pond.
Which ruined Darrin Duchene's day. The Palm Springs man said his son, Jake, who angled the piranha on Oct. 13, grew up fishing the pond.
"He's come back with every strange fish there is," said Duchene, remembering times Jake turned up with peacock bass and a Jaguar Guapote, a fish native to Central America.
He recalled the day a month ago Jake caught the piranha.
"I was sitting in my chair and he came running in. He said he saw a bunch of minnows getting torn up. He cast his line in there and, boom, kind of snagged it in the top of the head," Duchene said. "He ran over and said, 'Dad! Dad! I caught a piranha!'"
"I said, 'No way.' "
But, peering down at the fish, Duchene had to admit it looked exactly like the ones he had seen on the Discovery Channel.
"We had him in a zip-lock bag, and he was flipping around for probably 20 minutes. He was a big, tough one," Duchene said.
They called the wildlife commission, and an officer came and "seized the piranha for further investigation," the officer's report said.
The Duchene's gave up the fish reluctantly.
"I wanted to keep it so I could get it mounted for him, because nobody has a piranha," Duchene said. "He said they might give it back to us."
As wildlife officers poisoned his pond this morning, Duchene said he regretted ever calling them.
"All the years of enjoyment, for them to come wipe out that place, that's freakin' tragedy," he said. "That is terrible. That'll break my son's heart."


Look, you may think that having a piranhan mounted on your wall is cool, and you may be the first kid on your block to do so, but lets look at the facts here:

-Piranhas are from the Amazon
-The Amazon is not in Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon somehow have made it to Florida
-Piranhas from the Amazon made it into a pond in Florida

If Piranhas from the Amazon can find a way into your pond behind your house, then I do not want to have a Piranha on my wall when it finds a way into my freaking house ... and it will ... oh yes, it will ...

Buck Season ... Beware ...

MOIRA — For a few terrifying minutes, a Moira man became prey for a disgruntled buck.
An attack by a 10-point buck Friday sent Gerald A. Dabiew, 56, to the emergency room, covered from head to toe with cuts and bruises. Mr. Dabiew — who doesn't even hunt — was attacked for several minutes by the buck behind his house on Best Road.
"It seemed like hours," Mr. Dabiew said.
He was treated for his injuries and released from the hospital, but still was sore Monday, covered in bruises and scratches but with no broken bones.

His home is isolated and surrounded by woods, and Mr. Dabiew said he has seen deer in the area, but none has come close to him. So on Friday, as he was loading wood into a bucket behind his house, he didn't think twice as he spotted the buck across the road, watching it as he finished his work.
"He stepped on the road, he looked at me, and the next thing I know, he was coming right at me," he said. "He got me down on the ground, and it was then I knew that he really wanted to kill me."
For several minutes, Mr. Dabiew fought the buck, which tried to flip him over several times as he wrapped his legs around the animal's neck and held on to its horns.
The buck kept him pinned and pounded him into the ground, holding him there so he couldn't move. When Mr. Dabiew tried to wrestle himself loose, the buck would ram him again, he said.
"But I wasn't letting go of him," he said.
The buck injured Mr. Dabiew's hand and body with its horns, although the horns didn't puncture his body, and kicked him on the jaw.
"I've got bruises from head to toe," he said. "He picked me up in the air and pounded me into the ground."
During the ordeal, Mr. Dabiew, who was home alone, said he hollered for help until his throat went dry as he continued to battle the animal. Without the adrenaline pulsing through his veins, he said, he never would have lasted as long as he did. Even then, by the end of the fight his arms had lost all their strength.
The buck tried one last time to turn him over, but Mr. Dabiew, who describes himself as "a good-sized guy," broke loose and managed eventually to kick the animal, causing it to back off and run away.
"I don't know why he came around. All I was doing was throwing wood," he said. "I'm not even a hunter."
Mr. Dabiew said the sound of the wood hitting his bucket could have sounded like deer horns being hit together, a strategy hunters often use to lure deer.
No matter what the cause, deer attacks are uncommon, but not unheard of.
"This is breeding season for whitetails, and they get pretty aggressive, usually with other bucks," said wildlife biologist Ed Reed of the state Department of Environmental Conservation Region 5 office. "They have been known to attack people. If he sees something moving, he feels like it's somebody encroaching on his territory."
In fact, people are more likely to be attacked by a deer than a bear, which more people fear but which attack extremely rarely.
Mr. Reed said people should not be concerned for their safety in light of Friday's attack against Mr. Dabiew. He said Mr. Dabiew's theory about why the buck attacked could be correct, as the sound of wood hitting a bucket would have simulated the "sound of bucks fighting."
Mr. Dabiew said he certainly didn't consider deer to be dangerous animals — until Friday.
"It changed my way of thinking," he said. "I took an awful pounding; I know that."


Wow ... WTF ???   Sorry Gerald, but you've been made an example of ... I would really spend the rest of my time warning people not to hunt deer, because after centuries of this hunting crap, and the last decade or so of truck nut laden rednecks with orange vests and camo gear (really?  cmon now ... ), the bucks are about f*ckin sick of it, and I don't blame em.  The deer are about to rain down some hard core retribution on our asses ...

You have been warned.

Jellyfish (Again ... Yes, Same Thing we've been preaching)

Kokonogi, Nov 17 (THAINDIAN NEWS) Nomura is the world’s largest jellyfish and its poison can kill the other fish very fast. It normally used to stay in the ocean but are now a common occurrence along Japan’s coastline and a big cause for worry for the fishermen. This may be due to the fact that global warming has in turn affected the overall temperature of the oceans and has allowed some of the almost 2,000 jellyfish species to expand their geographical ranges, appear earlier in the year and increase their overall population as well.
‘The gelatinous seaborne creatures are blamed for decimating fishing industries in the Bering and Black seas, forcing the shutdown of seaside power and desalination plants in Japan, the Middle East and Africa, and terrorizing beachgoers worldwide’, the U.S. National Science Foundation says.
“Some fishermen have just stopped fishing,” said Taiichiro Hamano, 67. “When you pull in the nets and see jellyfish, you get depressed.”
Lucas Brotz, a researcher from the University of British Columbia, told AP, “These increases in jellyfish should be a warning sign that our oceans are stressed and unhealthy.”
Japanese fisherman Fumio Oma and his hard working crew are now out of work after their fishing net broke under the weight of thousands of jellyfish. He told the media that, “We have been getting rid of jellyfish. But no matter how hard we try, the jellyfish keep coming and coming. We need the government’s help to get rid of the jellyfish.”

Japan's only hope ... Mothra ... thats right, freakin Mothra ...

Japan needs to awaken Mothra from whatever island Mothra is on, and ask Mothra to save them from the onslaught of the jellyfish.

Spanky the Llam (With Video!)

BLUM, Texas - James Steele knew llamas were ornery, but he never expected "Spanky" to attack him.
"I knew they'd spit on you, run into on their back legs and knock you down," said the 59-year-old Hill County resident, "but I'd never had one physically try to hurt me, bite me. That sucker did hurt me."
Steele has the physical proof: he's on crutches now, with 700 stitches embroidering his right lower leg.
Last week he and a friend were in a field near his home in the town of Blum, about 90 miles southwest of Dallas.
They were checking on his goats when a neighbor's llama got in the way. Steele tried to shoo away the normally gentle 8-foot-tall animal.
He figures his actions caused the creature to snap.
"He was on them hind legs, had them front legs up and he hit me and knocked me down, and after that the lights kinda went out," Steele remembered.
"They say he grabbed me by the leg and shook me and throwed me about ten feet."
Friend Terry Flowers saw what was happening and found the first weapon he could to help.
"I grabbed that pipe and jumped the fence and just started hittin' on him just to get him off of him," said Flowers.
The llama's owner ended up shooting and killing the animal. Rabies tests came back negative.
The attack was especially dangerous for Steele, who is on blood thinner medication and is awaiting a heart transplant.
The animal's behavior is puzzling to everyone.
"Their grandchildren rode on this llama. Why do you think this would do that?" said Robbie Steele, the victim's wife. "I don't know if it just didn't like him, or if it was having a bad day."

Bad Day?  You fuckin betcha!

Sure sign of things to come folks.  Llamas on the hunt ... From Wikipedia:
Llamas which are well-socialized and trained to halter and lead after weaning are very friendly and pleasant to be around. They are extremely curious and most will approach people easily. However, llamas that are bottle-fed or over-socialised and over-handled as youngsters will become extremely difficult to handle when mature, when they will begin to treat humans as they treat each other, which is characterized by bouts of spitting, kicking and neck wrestling. Anyone having to bottle-feed a cria should keep contact to a minimum and stop as soon as possible.
When correctly reared spitting at a human is a rare thing. Llamas are very social herd animals, however, and do sometimes spit at each other as a way of disciplining lower-ranked llamas in the herd. A llama's social rank in a herd is never static. They can always move up or down in the social ladder by picking small fights. This is usually done between males to see who becomes alpha. Their fights are visually dramatic with spitting, ramming each other with their chests, neck wrestling and kicking, mainly to knock the other off balance. The females are usually only seen spitting as a means of controlling other herd members.

Essentially, the Llama basically thought 'I'm yo alpha male bitch' and tried to end this guy ... and probably would have succeeded if not for the 12 guage.

Beware the petting zoos folks ...

Kangaroos F*ck Up Austrialia

Oh, the Irony ...





Sorry Thargo ...whatever, but looks like another human stronghold has fallen to the Animal Uprising 2012 ...