Friday, May 29, 2009

Donut People Bow to Their Chicken Masters ...

A Chicken has come to dominate a small town donut shop ...

Apparently, this is an everyday thing ... watch at the 1:33 mark ... the Donut lady is actually bowing to the chicken, and placing a sacrifice of a donut in front of it. She then goes on to explain what types of donuts the chicken prefers.


Listen, if I'm a chicken, I'm just thanking God that I am getting people food. I don't dare say 'No, I do not want that bear claw, I would much rather have the rasberry filled.'

But apparently, this chicken has enabled some type of mind control device, and ahead of the Animal Uprising, is acquiring a taste for human delicacies ...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Foxes Choose Their Victims ...

In a clear display of 'going for the easy kill' ... twice ... a Fox attacked an elderly man, and a child in quick succession, only warded off temporarily by a bowl of milk in between ...

LEESBURG - An aggressive fox attacked a man outside his home on Park Holland Road near Leesburg earlier this week.

Jack Flowers, 80, said he was outside checking over some debris that had been blown around following a wind storm Tuesday evening. That's when a wily fox came up from behind and jumped on his leg.

"He came up behind me and wrapped his legs around mine," Flowers said. "He just had my britches leg."

Flowers said the fox was reddish brown, about half the size of a beagle, and it had a long tail extending more than two feet. Initially, the animal seemed intent on pouncing on Flowers.

"I kicked him six times. He came back every time," Flowers said. "I couldn't get anything to hit him with. He was too fast."

Finally, the fox was distracted by a bowl of milk and went to get a drink, Flowers said. That's when the man ran inside to get a gun. By the time he returned, the fox had moved down to a neighbor's property and attacked a young girl. The girl's father ended up striking the fox with a broomstick and killing the animal, according to Flowers and a report from Lake County Animal Services.

"That little girl's father beat him down," Flowers said.

Flowers said the fox attacked with its mouth open and some skin above his ankle was scratched during the episode.

"Oh yeah, it bled," Flowers said.

Yes Mr. Flowers ... There will be blood when the Animal Uprising 2012 Comes ...

What's really important about this is that the fox knew enough to say to itself 'Hey ... thats an old guy, and I can probably take him down ... '

Of course, the fox could not have seen the curveball waiting for him in the form of the 'bowl of milk' defence ...

But, it then saw a child, and said to itself 'Hey ... thats a kid, and I can probably take that kid down ... '

Clearly, the Animals can choose their prey wisely, which makes our impending doom all the more horrifying, as the Animal Uprising 2012 will be planned ... to a T ... weakest go first ... which means you better put that mcnugget down, and start working out ...

White Tiger Attack

'Lion Man' Craig Busch says he'll assist police in any way possible after a white tiger mauled to death a keeper at the Zion Wildlife Park in Whangarei today.

The attack was witnessed by eight French and English tourists.

A witness, who declined to be named, said the attack was "very, very frightening".

Police said the keeper suffered injuries to the abdomen and lower leg which were received by "tearing" by a big cat.

Two keepers had gone into the white tiger enclosure about 11am today when one of the two tigers in the enclosure attacked a male keeper.

Despite the best efforts of the second keeper and a rapid response from other wildlife park staff, the tiger would not let the park worker go and he died at the scene.

The tiger was destroyed by wildlife park staff.

Well Shucks 'Lion Man' ... I'm sorry for the loss, but c'mon now ... what did you really think was going to happen?

The Lion Man is well known in NZ for teaching keepers to be 'hands on' with big cats, which is A.) stupid, and B.) retarded ... Who doesn't think, when they see a tiger, " I wonder if I should try to pet it, or wrap my hands around it, or stick my fist in its mouth."

How about most of common sensical humanity.

Still, nothing to do in the face of the Animal Uprising 2012.

Friday, May 22, 2009

'Frikkin' Dog Bowl Laser Ray of Death

BELLEVUE, Wash. — Fire officials in Washington state say a sunny day and a dog's glass water bowl combined to cause a blaze that charred the back of a home.

Bellevue Fire Department Lt. Eric Keenan says investigators determined the glass bowl of water focused sunlight enough to act like a magnifying glass and start the fire on the home's wood deck Sunday.

Investigators said there was no electrical wiring or other possible cause.

The homeowners were away, but neighbors noticed the smoke and flames. The family dog was rescued. Damage is estimated at $215,000.

This is obviously incorrect reporting. The dog was home alone, it was HIS 'bowl' ... and apparently 'bowl' in dogspeak means Death Ray. Now that his cover is blown (sorta), who knows whats next for the family. No Doubt this Dog was testing his new weapon (which he would have obviously attached to his head), when the accident occurred.

Remember, in the Animal Uprising 2012, Dogs can be our protectors! Treat Them Well!

Snails on da Face

SALT LAKE CITY — Never mind the ick factor. A Utah boy is trying to get into the record books by covering his face with live snails.

Eleven-year-old Fin Keheler, from Sandy, allowed 43 of the slimy mollusks to be put on his face Saturday. He wants the Guinness World Records to verify his effort.

The Guinness web site says the record set in 2007 for snails on the face for 10 seconds is eight. The boy says he has since learned the record was 36.

Fin made three attempts on Saturday. While he was sitting back in a reclining chair, snails gathered from neighbors' gardens were carefully placed on his face. Those that remained for at least 10 seconds were counted.

Yeah, WTF ever ... World Record my ass ... This is more like a 'Ceti Eel' type situation, which for all you non-nerds out there, was this thing that happened in a sci fi movie franchise (big one, everybody knows it), where this bad guy put this snail into this guy's ear, and it basically ate his brain until he died. This kid obviously has snails wrapped around his cerebral cortex controlling his actions. Guinnes Book of Worldwhothef*ckcares ... no one should allow themselves to be controlled by snails.

Fear the Animal Uprising 2012 ... big, small, slimy, whatever ... its coming ...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Deer Attacks

The Deer ... Majestic, Docile, Respected, Sought After, and Threat to Humanity ...

Three people were attacked by a deer in Pulaski County recently.

Days later, a deer was shot after it displayed aggressive behavior.

The animal circled Conservation Police Officer Troy Phillips several times before he had to put it down.

He's not sure if it's the same deer that attacked a man and his son on Saturday and bit another man Monday morning.

All of the incidents happened in the Delton area of Pulaski County.

Tissue samples from the deer were sent to the Department of Health for rabies tests.

Phillips wanted to remind people they should not try to feed, care for or approach wild animals.

People in the Delton area should remain extra vigilant.

People in Delton?!? How about, people worldwide. Deer are everywhere folks ... from Wikipedia ...
Deer live in a variety of biomes ranging from tundra to the tropical rainforest. While often associated with forests, many deer are ecotone species that live in transitional areas between forests and thickets (for cover) and prairie and savanna (open space). The majority of large deer species inhabit temperate mixed deciduous forest, mountain mixed coniferous forest, tropical seasonal/dry forest, and savanna habitats around the world.

Wow ... what better animal to rise up against the human race. I mean, really, did we not see this coming? We have designated times of the year where people are encouraged to kill deer around the world; this really was only a matter of time.

Lets hope non hunters will be spared in the uprising ...

Disney May Be Orchestrating the Animal Uprising

Disney 'Premiered' their trailer for their new 'entertainment movie' tonight on American Idol ...

Dear Disney Execs,

You cannot fool us here at Animal Uprising 2012. Clearly, this not only LEGITIMIZES the threat of the impending Animal Uprising 2012, but it goes a step further by trying to make light of the abilities Animals really have.

Obviously, as demonstrated with the 'Rabies Theory' posts of April, if we make light of the Animal Uprising, then of course, the public won't be afraid of it. If the Public's not afraid of it, then why protect ourselves against it?

Do those Guinea Pigs in that trailer look cute to you? Its because you're an idiot. Good luck when the rodents rise up from their cages and hunt you down like the dogs you are.

AU2012 Team

Komodo Poison Killing Machine

As if my nightmares concerning flesh tearing Komodo Dragons wasn't bad enough ...

The Komodo dragon is the largest living lizard and a fearsome predator. It’s long been thought that some of its hunting prowess was due to a mouth teeming with bacteria. An attack that didn’t immediately kill the dragon’s victim—often a deer, but sometimes a person—would cause fatal bacterial infections. But a report released May 18th by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences finds a more likely cause of death.

The animal has evolved a “sophisticated combined-arsenal killing apparatus.” First, the animal has razor-sharp serrated teeth—perfect for tearing flesh and causing massive wounds. But, wait, there’s more. When the researchers performed an MRI of a dragon, they found in its jaws what they called the most structurally complex reptile venom gland known. The gland has openings between the lizard’s teeth and releases chemicals that both dilate blood vessels and prevent blood clotting. The inevitable result is massive blood loss. This new information thus helps to clean up the foul-mouthed reputation of the Komodo dragon. But it’s little solace for its unfortunate prey.

Apparently, the closest thing we have to a Dinosaur, Land Crocodile, and Godzilla, is now also poisonous to humans.


Not just poisonous ... the most 'structurally complex' type of poisonous ever known in reptiles. So, a Komodo will rip off a piece of flesh, which is terrifying enough, then they'll sit back and watch as you spew blood out of the holes in your body until you die a cold, lonely death ... then they eat you. Nice ... good one mother nature.

Gives a whole new understanding to Recent Komodo Attacks on the human population ...

BTW - there have never before been as many attacks on humans by Komodos than in 2009 ...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Great Article ... Some of the smartest thinking I've ever read.

EDMONTON — Experts say a 15-year-old boy mauled on Sunday was the victim of a predatory bear attack.

No Shit?

"In this instance, we're presuming the bear saw the boy as food," said Russell Stashko, co-chair of Alberta's Bear Smart program.

In This Instance? It would be best for you to start preaching this message, in every instance...

The boy was camping with a large group of people at Roche Lake, a remote site accessible only by a three- to four-hour all-terrain vehicle ride east of Swan Hills.

Excellent thought y'all ... God forbid humans stay in the structures we built to keep ourselves warm and safe (otherwise called houses), and we decide to go right out into a bear's front lawn ...

Stashko said the bear showed up at their campsite Saturday night, but was scared off by a shotgun blast.

Way to go 'scaring' the Bear into not eating people ... I'll remember when the animal uprising comes to cut two holes in a sheet, and put it over my head so I can jump out and yell 'Boo!' at the first crocodile that comes to my front door ... that'll teach em ...

It returned early the next morning and attacked the boy before being scared off again by the same gun.

Oh ... the scaring thing didn't work ... but we had no idea that was gonna happen, did we ... Wait for it ...

Stashko said there is "no rhyme or reason" as to why the bear attacked the 15-year-old out of the group of 25 to 30 people he was with. It is unusual for a bear to even approach such a large group, he added.

... Unless the animal uprising is coming, and you are a fool to think otherwise ... strike one ...

"It is uncommon. Usually, there is safety in numbers," Stashko said. ... strike two ...

"Most bears, 99 per cent of the time, would prefer not to be around humans. It is an anomaly."

... and, strike three ... Apparently you are a fool ...

However, Stashko said, this is the time of year when bear attacks are the most common, since they are just waking up from their winter sleep.

"The first thing they do when they come out of hibernation is look for food," he said.

Really? Most of us call this phenomenon 'breakfast' ...

The boy was transported Sunday morning by air ambulance to the University of Alberta Hospital. Alberta Health Services spokeswoman Holly Budd said the boy was doing well in hospital. His family did not wish to speak to the media.

STARS spokesman Cameron Heke said the air ambulance pilots were easily able to find the victim in a remote wooded area because of a mix of technology and good-old-fashioned smoke signals.

"They had a Global Positioning System . . . which was very helpful in us being able to find them because they were in a heavily wooded area. They also had a big fire going, so they used smoke as a signal, as well," Heke said.

The boy was in stable condition when STARS transported him. Heke said one of the crew on the air ambulance told him the 15-year-old victim was very brave.

"He said, 'He was a very brave young lad.' Those were his exact words."

Stashko said investigators are almost positive that the bear which attacked the boy was killed several hours later.

"We're certain that the bear involved was shot by some bear hunters," Stashko said.

Good one Stashko ... way to enrage the Bear family ahead of the uprising. Essentially, you went into the bear's house, woke him up, took away his breakfast, then shot him for it ... awesome ...

To be certain, the investigators have taken bear DNA from the boy's wounds and will compare it with DNA from the bear carcass.

Stashko said there are two kinds of bear attacks: defensive and predatory. In the case where a bear looks like it may attack a human in defence of itself or its young, the best thing a person can do is to back away and give the animal lots of room.

You could also give serious consideration to not going to its house and waking it up ... its called 'Preventative Health Measures' ... its similar to not smoking, and avoiding McDonalds ...

If a bear seems like it's attacking for predatory reasons, a person should fight back and make as much noise as possible.

Stashko also recommended using devices such as a portable electric bear fence, which this group did not have.

Just for the record, these awesome devices do exist, as proven here ...
I once put a fence like that up around my tomato garden ... best tomatoes I've ever had, so I totally approve of this bear fence ...

Is that a Bear in the picture, or is the photog doing it with a puppet?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Foxes ... Again ...

Since 1996, foxes have attacked four people in New Hanover County. Two of those attacks occurred last week, officials said. The most recent was Saturday evening when a 37-year-old woman fought off a fox that she says bit her three times as she stood outside in an apartment complex near the intersection of Market Street and Gordon Road.

Though the fox has never been found, authorities say its behavior suggests it was likely rabid since healthy wild animals are scared of people. Because the fox hasn’t been found and tested, authorities aren’t certain it was rabid.

But Judy Evonko, a supervisor at New Hanover County Animal Control, said authorities suspect a fox that attacked an adult May 11 on Park Avenue was rabid.

That evening a fox ran from the woods, attacked a person, then fled, Evonko said. The next morning, someone reported a sick-looking fox several blocks away. That fox, which authorities suspect was responsible for the attack, was captured and tested positive for rabies, she said.

The recent pair of fox attacks coincides with a jump in rabies cases in New Hanover County this year, Evonko said.

There “seems to be a rash of them going on right now,” she said of rabies cases. People should stay away from any wild animal, she said, even dogs or cats that don’t have owners around. If an animal bites a person and then runs away, the person will have to get rabies shots, Evonko said.

Stefani Wallace, 37, had to get rabies shots Saturday night after a fox snuck up on her from behind her in the Cape Harbor Apartments and bit her ankle. She wrestled it off and the fox came back two more times. In all, Wallace was bitten on her ankle, finger and toe.

She got five shots, she said, including two in bite wounds.

Wallace said she will need four more shots to complete the treatment. Since the attack, Cape Harbor property managers have sent e-mails and letters telling residents to be cautious, said Wendy Smith, regional manager for Bell Partners, which manages the complex.

Evonko said she only remembers two other fox attacks in New Hanover County before last week. One occurred in Castle Hayne in 1996, she said, and the other was several years ago.

When a fox does attack a person, it’s a sign of sickness and likely rabies, she said.

In New Hanover County, 106 animals have tested positive for rabies since early 1996. Most were raccoons, but rabid bobcats, domestic cats and one puppy have also tested positive, Evonko said.

This year, New Hanover County has found 12 rabid animals, about twice as many as last year.

Brunswick County has had four rabies cases so far this year, which is about average, said Fred Michael, deputy health director at the Brunswick County Health Department.

One of this year’s cases was a fox that bit a woman in January.

Evonko said animal control investigates animal attacks. But when the animal has fled into the woods they don’t go after it. Foxes and raccoons are so common, she said, they wouldn’t know which one was responsible for the attack.

People should have their pets vaccinated, she said, and call animal control if they see a wild animal that looks sick or is acting strange. Signs of rabies are staggering, making a lot of noise, drooling, or biting at the air, she said.

Aggressiveness toward people is another indicator, Michael said. “That’s one of the warning signs,” he said. “If you see an animal that’s acting unusual, and it’s not afraid of you.”

How about, 'Aggressiveness towards people is another indicator ... of our impending doom.'

Once again, I understand that its easy to pass everything off to 'rabid animals', but lets be honest here ... 4 attacks in this town since 1996, and two have been this year? Coincidence, or yet another sign that the animals are in fact rising up, and we, the human race, have only a rather short period of time before we all perish at their hands ... err, paws ... err, hooves ... claws ... fins ... whatever ...

1 Killed, 33 Wounded ...

BAHRAICH: A wild animal attacked had created terror in over a dozen villages located on Bahraich-Sitapur border, killed one person and wounded 33 others on Sunday night. It could not be recognised. The forest officers of the two districts have inspected the villages. The victims said it could be a leopard whereas officers of the forest department believe that it could be a wolf or hyena. Condition of the two wounded women is stated to be serious.

A 'Mystery' Animal, possibly a Hyena, Wolf, Leapord, or any other species of quadrapedal creature with teeth, got to 33 people in one night?!? The headline for this reads more like a pirate attack off the coast of Somalia than it does an animal incident ...

Listen folks, this is no Accident whatsoever ... no mere coincedence ... no primal instinct. The animals have it in for us, and India is on their hit list.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Check it:

DON'T EAT BLOWFISH.... Just another tactic that we may have overlooked. ..

Days after falling into near-fatal comas, an Israeli couple is lucky to be alive after they ate a deadly strain of fish.

The 47-year-olds, immigrants from Russia and Ukraine, were admitted to a hospital in northern Israel on Saturday in comatose states after preparing and eating fried blowfish. They regained consciousness in the ICU Monday.

“From what they have been able to tell us,” Rambam Hospital spokesman David Ratner said, “a neighbor gave them the fish as a gift. They didn’t know what it was; they fried it up for dinner and ate it. “

Shortly after, both started to feel dizzy. The man collapsed and his female partner crawled feebly to the front door to summon a neighbor for help before passing out. The neighbor phoned an ambulance.

“When the ambulance got there they could barely breathe and needed oxygen. By the time they arrived at the hospital, both were unconscious and had been intubated,” Ratner said.

Blowfish, also referred to as puffers, balloon fish, toadies and bubble fish, are the second most poisonous vertebrate in the world after the golden poison frog. The fish’s skin and certain internal organs are highly toxic to humans; touching or ingesting them leads to muscle paralysis and can result in an excruciatingly slow and painful death.

“Blowfish contain a cocktail of neuro-toxins that are very potent and basically halt neurotransmission. If a person eats the fish, there is paralysis then possibly a heart attack and the heart can stop beating altogether and there’s brain damage and death,” Ben Gurion University marine biologist Dr. Nadav Shashar said.

The fish is considered a delicacy in Japan and Korea. “But they know how to prepare it,” said Shashar.

Hospital staff was unaware of the cause of illness when the two were admitted, as both were unconscious. But symptoms suggested poisoning, and a police visit to the house -- including a peek in the fridge -- confirmed ICU staff suspicions.

“This is the fourth time in three years we’ve had people come in sick or unconscious from eating blowfish,” Ratner shared. Eight months ago one of those patients died. Ratner says this couple is also lucky. “They were saved by timing. If the woman had also passed out, they wouldn’t have made it.”

Both are conscious and recovering, albeit slightly hazy and confused. Physicians expect a full recovery for both.

“The basic rule of thumb is simple: Don’t stick things in your mouth if you don’t know what they are,” Dr. Shashar concluded. “Other predators don’t even go for this fish, so why would a human?”

Did a doctor really give an order that states "Don't stick things in your mouth if you don't know what they are"... hmmmmm I want to go see him for my next physical. AND - Hey Dr. Shashar... humans don't "go for this fish" this fish goes for humans...

Zombie Fire Ants

Combining two of the things we love most (Animal Uprisings and Zombies), UT Austin and Texas A&M Researchers have begun reporting on the next great animal threat ... zombie-fication ...

It sounds like something out of science fiction: zombie fire ants. But it's all too real.

Fire ants wander aimlessly away from the mound.

Eventually their heads fall off, and they die.

The strange part is that researchers at the University of Texas at Austin and Texas A&M's AgriLife Extension Service say making "zombies" out of fire ants is a good thing.

"It's a tool — they're not going to completely wipe out the fire ant, but it's a way to control their population," said Scott Ludwig , an integrated pest management specialist with the AgriLife Extension Service in Overton , in East Texas .

The tool is the tiny phorid fly, native to a region of South America where the fire ants in Texas originated. Researchers have learned that there are as many as 23 phorid species along with pathogens that attack fire ants to keep their population and movements under control.

So far, four phorid species have been introduced in Texas .

The flies "dive-bomb" the fire ants and lay eggs. The maggot that hatches inside the ant eats away at the brain, and the ant starts exhibiting what some might say is zombie-like behavior.

"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.

The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."

About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.

Plowes said fire ants are "very aware" of these tiny flies, and it only takes a few to cause the ants to modify their behavior.

"Just one or two flies can control movement or above-ground activity," Plowes said. "It's kind of like a medieval activity where you're putting a castle under siege."

... So there's no proof that it works on humans ... yet ... so what. Clearly, this is an indication of a huge move to develop ways to make the impending doom of the human race all the more gory. Eventually, the phorid flies will perfect the zombiefication technique, utilize it on humans, and we'll not only have herds of bears, monkeys, and crocodiles waiting to pounce, but we'll also have zombie humans to deal with ... freakin sweet.

Further details on the step by step process of ant zombification can be found here:

Ant Zombies from the Planet Mars ...

Friday, May 8, 2009

Colorado Town vs The Animal Uprising 2012

Prepared with stories of people and other animals attacked by dogs roaming neighborhoods and parks and ceaseless dog barking incidents, a number of members of Paonia Concerned Citizens requested that an animal control task force be created. They presented their ideas at the April 28 Paonia Town Council meeting. The group asked for two to three concerned citizens, the town's public safety committee, and a police officer to be on the task force.

Mayor Neal Schwieterman said due to trustee Scott Morley's work schedule, the mayor would take his place representing the public safety committee. Schwieterman also said he would like to add the town's financial officer to the task force.

Police Chief Scott Leon said the department had already made the decision to hire a part-time animal control officer, based on call load. He added the officer's hours could increase to full-time if needed.

The citizens who attended the meeting made clear they had lived with the problem for 10 to 12 years and felt the dog problem had been ignored by the town and the police. Verna Namy stated that the police department's attitude about the dog problem was that it was not serious. She said the public is not aware of the laws regarding dogs. She suggested that fines are too low and that the fines should increase per incident. She stated the town needs a full-time police chief. Chief Leon is also the public works director. She also said the animal control officer needs to be full-time.

Damn Straight ... its about Damn time that towns start mobilizing NOW against the Animal Uprising 2012. I don't care if your town has maybe, 20 people in it ... you've got to be ready. Although, i'd take it a step further, and go ahead and build a wall to keep all animals out. It might be a good idea for everyone to go ahead and get themselves some of these ...

AU2012; This Week in Dog Uprisings ...

CALGARY, Can. - Man Hospitalized after two dogs jump his ass in Canada ...


SMYRNA BEACH, Fl - Dude Tazers a Pit Bull; says the Dude; 'It had a look in its eyes ... '


WILTSHIRE, UK - Rottweiler goes nuts on a 16 year old; Mom is pissed ...


SALISBURY, Ma- Dogs attack 12 year old ... Horse? Signs of a split in the United Animal Uprising 2012 front?


INDEPENDENCE, IA - Mailman attacked by Dog ... Age Old Scenario is called 'A Mailman's Worst Nightmare' ...


Nutria ...

NEW ORLEANS — A Louisiana woman is suing a Wal-Mart store over what she claims was a much-too-close encounter of the furry kind.

Rebecca White says in her lawsuit that employees at a Wal-Mart in Abbeville let a rat-tailed rodent known as a nutria run loose and scare her. She says that not only did employees know it was in their store, but gave it a pet name, Norman, and failed to warn shoppers.

White says she was pushing a full shopping cart down an aisle in October when the nutria ran out from behind a rack. She says she pulled the cart backward in a panicked attempt to protect herself and hurt her back and foot.

The local store referred all questions about Norman to the Bentonville, Ark.-headquarters of Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the nation's largest retailer.

A spokeswoman there said the company has not seen the nutria lawsuit, which was filed in state court in Abbeville, but is investigating. The parish nuisance animal control officer said no one has called him about the animal.

Nutria have bright orange buck teeth and can weigh up to 18 pounds. Would-be fur farmers in 22 states imported them in large numbers in the 1930s and '40s, then released them when they proved unprofitable. They proliferated in south Louisiana.

White wants compensation for pain, suffering, mental anguish, fear, disabling injuries, and medical expenses. Her attorney says the surgery bills aren't in yet, but other medical bills totaled nearly $2,000.

Yeah I bet White wants all that compensation ... and I want compensation for my daily concerns for all of humanity in warning them of plots like this.

Nutria are intelligent ... If they've infiltrated the wal marts of the world, it means that they will attack the trailer prone wrung's of society first, which is actually quite brilliant if you ask me ...

Beyond this, 'Norma' the Nutria has somehow convinced humans that it is ok to allow a wild animal to live amongst you ... yet another example of the secret animal mind control weapon ... you have been warned.

It's not always a blatant attack...

CLIFTON PARK, N.Y. — A diner at an upstate New York restaurant got a little something extra with his broccoli — a severed snake head.

Jack Pendleton was at T.G.I. Friday's in Clifton Park on Sunday when he spotted something gray mixed in with his vegetables and realized it was a snake head the size of his thumb, with part of the spine still attached.

Pendleton says he snapped a photo with his cell phone camera and called the waiter over. The manager said he'd never seen anything like it.

A spokeswoman for the Carrolton, Texas, chain says it's investigating. The broccoli was pulled from the restaurant and others served by the same supplier. It wasn't immediately known what type of snake was involved.

Pendleton and his girlfriend weren't charged for their meals. He says he has no plans to sue.

"The manager came over white as a sheet," Pendleton, 28, told "He explained in five years he'd never run into anything like this."


Animals are smart.... even though they may be dead they still figure out ways to attack us.... I'm pretty sure my heart would have stopped then and there. Just another AU2012 tactic to watch out for...

Again - consider yourself warned....

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Kabul vs Swine Flu; Mission Accomplished ...

You just can't make this stuff up folks ...

KABUL (Reuters) - Afghanistan's only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people are worried it could infect them with the virus popularly known as swine flu.

The pig is a curiosity in Muslim Afghanistan, where pork and pig products are illegal because they are considered irreligious, and has been in quarantine since Sunday after visitors expressed alarm it could spread the new flu strain.

"For now the pig is under quarantine, we built it a room because of swine influenza," Aziz Gul Saqib, director of Kabul Zoo, told Reuters. "We've done this because people are worried about getting the flu."

Worldwide, more than 1,000 people have been infected with the virus, according to the World Health Organization, which also says 26 people have so far died from the strain. All but one of the deaths were in Mexico, the epicenter of the outbreak.

There are no pig farms in Afghanistan and no direct civilian flights between Kabul and Mexico.

"We understand that, but most people don't have enough knowledge. When they see the pig in the cage they get worried and think that they could get ill," Saqib said.

The pig was a gift to the zoo from China, which itself quarantined some 70 Mexicans, 26 Canadians and four Americans in the past week, but later released them.

Some visitors were not concerned about the fate of the pig and said locking it away was probably for the best.

"Influenza is quite contagious and if it passes between people and animals then there's no need for the pig to be here," zoo visitor Farzana said.

Thats all fine and good, and bravo, clap clap Kabul, for nullifying the threat of pigs in your entire country in one heavy handed swoop (and way to go for not pulling an Egypt), but we don't want you to miss the real gems of this article ...

Apparently, Kabul has long been part of the front lines of the Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Shabby and rundown, Kabul Zoo is a far cry from zoos in the developed world, but has nevertheless come a long way since it suffered on the front line of Afghanistan's 1992-4 civil war.

Mujahideen fighters then ate the deer and rabbits and shot dead the zoo's sole elephant. Shells shattered the aquarium.

One fighter climbed into the lion enclosure but was immediately killed by Marjan, the zoo's most famous inhabitant. The man's brother returned the next day and lobbed a hand grenade at the lion leaving him toothless and blind.

The zoo now holds two lions who replaced Marjan who died of old age in 2002 as well as endangered local leopards. In all, it houses 42 species of birds and mammals and 36 types of fish and attracts up to 10,000 visitors on weekends.

Wow, so if this is a true, this predates the current AU2012 insurgency by over 10 years! That means Afghanistan was locked in the conflictual throngs of man vs animal, churning out stories of survival, pain, and retribution long before what we now call 'the internet' became very popular.

Freakin Afghanistan ... LOVE the Animal Uprising 2012!

Giant Spiders That Will Suck Your Brains Through Your Nostrils

Yeah, you read that title right ... and where is it you asked?

Really ... by now do we have to even contemplate that question?

Australia is known around the world for its large and deadly creepy-crawlies, but even locals have been shocked by the size of the giant venomous spiders that have invaded an Outback town in Queensland.

Scores of eastern tarantulas, which are known as "bird-eating spiders" and can grow larger than the palm of a man's hand, have begun crawling out from gardens and venturing into public spaces in Bowen, a coastal town about 700 miles northwest of Brisbane.

Earlier this week locals spotted an Australian tarantula wandering towards a public garden in the center of town where people often sit for lunch. They called in a pest controller, but not before using a can of insect spray to paralyze the spider.

Audy Geiszler, who runs Amalgamated Pest Control in Bowen, said that the spider was a large male with powerful long fangs and was so big that when he placed it — dead — in the palm of his hand, its legs hung over his fingers.

Geiszler said that he had been inundated with calls from worried locals reporting sightings of the giant tarantulas, which have been pushed out of their natural habitat over the past month by heavy, unseasonal rain.

Look, frankly speaking, this is just freakin gross. They are spiders ... Giant Spiders ... that are invading a town ... they are crawling up park benches, onto people's legs, and inside people's pants ... yuck.

Then some genius decided to use a whole can of bug spray, and it only put the thing to sleep.

Sorry Australia, but you're f*cked ...

Snake Fun

Because, as an Animal Uprising 2012 Colleague states, 'petting a snake is always recommended' ...

Banner Poison Control Center treated four patients this past weekend for rattlesnake bites. There have been eight victims in the past week.

Experts said that means this is the time to take precautions; snakes are particularly active when daytime temperatures remain above 82 degrees Fahrenheit.Patrick Hotchkiss of Quartzsite, Ariz., was one of the victims. He had just stepped off his porch Sunday afternoon when he was struck.

"I felt two sharp things, sort of akin to piece of broken glass that snaps off," said Patrick Hotchkiss, from his hospital bed at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital.Hotchkiss said this particular snake was about 2-and-a-half feet long and did not rattle prior to striking."I should've been more vigilant. Usually I am," said Hotchkiss.The snake bit him on the right heel. His ankle swelled to twice its normal size. He’s in some pain, but doctors said he’ll recover.

Some of the other victims were gardening or hiking. One child was playing in a yard.But others got closer than they should have. Doctors said one man was bitten on the hand after trying to pet a snake. They said the man had been drinking prior to the incident.

“We've seen several people who've tried petting the snakes, and even on occasion people trying to kiss the snake. Any of those things usually result in the patient getting bitten,"
said Dr. Michael Levine, a toxicologist at Banner Poison Control Center.Doctors said it’s important to call for help or get to a hospital after a rattlesnake bite.“Typically the snake's envenomation can cause a lot of muscle problems and can cause a lot of bleeding problems," said Dr. Levine.

Doctors also want to dispel some common myths surrounding rattlesnake bites.They said do not use a tourniquet to restrict blood flow. Do not cut the bite site or try to suction out the venom. Also, do not try to capture the snake and bring it to the hospital. Identification of the snake is not necessary for treatment.

Got that kiddos? Don't pet, or try to kiss a snake, especially after you've been drinking ... you have no idea whether the beer goggles make that snake look a whole lot hotter than it really is. Oh, and if its poisonous, it will probably bite your face, which will then swell up, and then you can die.

Recommendations for Making Bear Friends ...

The Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission is preparing to set a bear trap to catch the bear spotted today on Metro Parkway.

Spokesman Gary Morse said this afternoon after viewing images and video of the bear, it's clear the bear has been fed by people.

"A cameraman was standing 10 feet from the bear, and the bear was not at all intimidated," Morse said. "That's not normal behavior."

He said the concern is more for the bear than people.

Black bears, he said, are not generally aggressive, but when they lose their fear of people, they can get too close, wander into traffic and become a general nuisance.

He said the hope initially is to relocate the bear to an area where it will not affect people.

But he said once a bear has been fed by humans, those habits are extremely difficult to break.

"I hate to say this, but people need to hear it," Morse said. "A fed bear is a dead bear."

Nyahayah ... Good One Morse ...

Who Knew Right? Bears like to eat stuff, and human's throw away food, so that doesn't make perfect sense or anything right?

Here's my favorite part though ... the Recommendations for meeting a bear ...

• If you do meet a black bear, it will most likely turn tail and run off. If it doesn’t, you should stop, stand still and stay calm.

... and apparently await your impending doom, and or serve up a limb to be eaten. Lets see how well this works when the Bear Population involved in the Animal Uprising 2012 starts walking around ...

• Talk to the bear in a normal, calm voice, in as much of a monotone as you can master. You can say anything you want, as there is no evidence that bears can understand English. “Hey bear, hey bear, we’re here and we’re getting out of your way now,” is easy enough to remember! If you are in a group, only one person should be the “bear talker” as several people talking will likely sound contentious to a bear, no matter what you’re saying.

... As of this posting, I've TM'd the phrase 'Bear Talker', and you will soon see it on T-shirts, bedsheets, and lady's thongs everywhere. I'd also go ahead and make it a point to designate to all of your friends before going out anywhere that you're the 'Bear Talker' in the group ... I find that talking to bears in an agitated, slurred, drunken voice after a three day bender isn't the most effective ... of course, the last thing you want is to be out at your favorite disco, and a bear comes in, and your drunken sh*t for brains buddy starts encroaching on your 'Bear Talker' status, and screws everything up ... seriously ...

Oh wait, it already said there is no evidence bears understand English ...

• Don’t approach any closer, and don’t whip out your camera and start taking pictures. It’s important not to make any sudden or abrupt movements. Let the bear see you are a human and mean no harm, by slowly waving your arms and continuing to talk in a low, firm monotone voice.

... Oh Ma Gawd Y'all, I was out with my BFF, and we saw, get this, a BEAR! So I got out my cell phone camera, and started taking pics, and then, it like, totally ripped my friends leg off ... it was like, gross ...

• Don’t offer the bear any food.

... it won't need any once its done eating your friend, so offer them up instead ...

• Avoid direct eye contact. Bears and many other animals may view this as hostile or aggressive behavior. If the bear stands up, he is only trying to see you better to figure out what you are and assess whether or not you are a threat.

... Did he just look at me? Did you just look at me brah? What the FU*K are you staring at brah? What's your fu*kin problem brah? ... Motherf*cker just looked at me ... I don't like the way you're lookin at me brah ... You better SIDDOWN brah ...

• Don’t run. Running triggers a chase response in many animals, including bears. Remember, bears can sprint at speeds of up to 30 mph. You can’t outrun a bear. If the bear paws the ground, huffs and puffs, clacks and snorts, or runs directly at you, he’s doing what is called a “bluff charge” to try to scare you off. If you stand your ground, the bear will probably stop a few feet from you and turn the other direction and run away. No matter what happens, do not run away. After the bear gets back to where he started from, you can continue slowly backing away, talking and waving your arms. He may bluff charge you several times until he is comfortable turning his back on you and leaving.

... I don't know about this 'bluff charge' thing ... did you have somebody go field test this? I like how it says 'If you stand your ground, the bear will 'Probably' stop a few feet from you ... why don't they just go all the way and say "Dudes, you have nothing to worry about ... if a bear starts charging, then just hang tight and you'll be fine!" ... Anyone that actually follows this advice won't be able to come back here and verify it anyway ...

• Don’t climb a tree. Adult black bears can climb a 100-foot tree in less than 30 seconds. Mother black bears often send their cubs up a tree when they sense danger. You don’t want to end up a tree with a couple of cubs and mama bear waiting patiently below for you all to come down! If the bear is sufficiently interested in you, you’ll just end up fending off a bear in a tree. When a dominant bear chases another bear up a tree in a battle of “who’s turf is this, anyway?” the treed bear often gets yanked to the ground and pummeled a few times to teach it a lesson. Bears survive being pummeled by other bears a lot better than people do. Don’t climb trees to escape a black bear.

... I thought you said they wouldn't charge me in the first place ... but in case this 'Bluff Charge' thing doesn't work, and I do happen to escape my first fistfight with a bear, then ok, don't climb a tree ... while holding my intestines in, and trying to stop the bleeding ... roger on that one buddy ...

• Don’t ‘play dead’, and don’t turn your back on the bear. Back away and be prepared to stop and hold your ground if your movement away seems to irritate instead of calm the bear. Clacking teeth, popping noises, moaning, woofing or barking sounds are all vocal cues that mean the bear is as uncomfortable with the situation as you are. They are not indications of aggressive intent or an imminent attack. Truly aggressive black bears are eerily silent.

... like Ninja ...

• If a Black bear attacks you: Fight back. Even if you don’t have bear repellent spray, people have successfully fended off black bear attacks using their bare hands, rocks, backpacks, and even water bottles.

... So, in case you don't run up a tree, and the 'bluff charge' isn't actually a bluff, your non drunken, calming monotone doesn't actually calm, and you survive the first pouncing by a silent ninja bear, then now its ok to go ahead and fight back, with the one foot, and half a hand you have left ... ok ... Thanks for that ...

Idiots ... When will you learn that you cannot stop an Animal Uprising 2012 with a calming monotone voice ...

Monday, May 4, 2009

Tunnels ...

Motorists on Highway 93 North have been driving over wildlife like crazy in the past year, without ever noticing.

Bears, bobcats, river otters and owls have discovered a network of 42 underpasses built into the roadway between Evaro and Polson. Photographic evidence shows a host of critters using the tunnels as cars zoom overhead.

“This whole concept of road ecology is catching on,” Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes wildlife biologist Whisper Camel said of the network. “This one may be the biggest in the country.” The underpasses range in size from 4-foot-diameter culverts to 22-foot-wide tunnels. There's also one overpass under construction north of Evaro. And eventually, there will be a few turtle-sized pipes along the Ninepipe National Wildlife Refuge.

Many have an infrared digital camera installed with a motion-detector shutter trigger. Camel checks them monthly, cataloging everything from great horned owls to human hunters using the routes. In the year they've been in place, she's collected between 40 and 150 “animal occurrences” a month.

“I was really surprised by the river otters,” Camel said. “It's not unlikely they would use it, but there are so few of them, you don't really see them that often - certainly not crossing the road.”

She was also happy to snap a cow elk using a tunnel. That's technically a big deal, because elk tend to be the most skittish species around new features. They're also a major hazard for motorists.

And that's the overarching reason for adding the underpasses to the Highway 93 North project. Montana Department of Transportation wildlife biologist Pat Basting said reducing wildlife collisions was a big part of his job.

“There've been questions from members of the public and even some transportation engineering officials, whether or not these things were really going to be effective,” Basting said. “The photos reaffirm and reassure decision-makers these things do work.”

In fact, a recent Western Transportation Institute study presented to Congress showed that over a 10-year period in the 1990s and 2000s, all types of traffic accidents remained relatively constant even though traffic volume has gone up. But hidden in the data was the observation that in that same period, wildlife-vehicle collisions had jumped nearly 50 percent.

Basting said traffic studies can set cash values for collisions. The calculation includes the value of the dead animal, damage to the vehicle, cost of emergency response and the average injury to driver and passengers. Using those figures, it's possible to learn how long it takes for a wildlife tunnel to pay for itself in reduced collisions.

Hitting a deer costs an average of $6,600, according to Marcel Huijser of the Western Transportation Institute. An elk collision packs a bill of $17,500.

The underpasses benefit wildlife in other ways besides keeping them out of car grilles. They restore connections between animal populations and make it safer for them to move between habitats.

Camel said the Post Creek Hill stretch of Highway 93 has claimed three grizzly bears in the past 20 years. No griz have been caught on camera yet, but one crossing was placed particularly because it spanned that corridor between the mountains and lower valley the big bears frequent.

And the cameras have caught black bears using the underpasses, as well as cougars and coyotes

Congratulations Minnesota, you've done it ... thank you very much for allowing the Wildlife in the area to move freely, and not in a dissimilar fashion to the VietCong in a little known place called Vienam. Way to go on training the Animal Uprising 2012 partakers in guerilla warfare.

Quote of the Article:
The underpasses benefit wildlife in other ways besides keeping them out of car grilles. They restore connections between animal populations and make it safer for them to move between habitats.

READ - Human's have created a safer, faster way for Animal Uprising 2012 supply lines, and reinforcement routes in and around Minnesota ... Thanks MN Highway Department!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Egypt Gets Down with the Animal Uprising 2012

Well, apparently our efforts to warn the masses of conspiracies involving the Animal Uprising 2012 have paid off. Apparently, Egypt has decided to break out a Nuke at a streetfight ...

CAIRO – Egypt began slaughtering the roughly 300,000 pigs in the country Wednesday as a precautionary measure against the spread of swine flu even though no cases have been reported here yet, the Health Ministry said.

The move immediately provoked resistance from pig farmers. At one large pig farmingCairo, farmers refused to cooperate with Health Ministry workers who came to slaughter the animals and the workers left without carrying out the government order. center just north of

"It has been decided to immediately start slaughtering all the pigs in Egypt using the full capacity of the country's slaughterhouses," Health Minister Hatem el-Gabaly told reporters after a Cabinet meeting with President Hosni Mubarak.

Egypt's overwhelmingly Muslim population does not eat pork due to religious restrictions. But the animals are raised and consumed by the Christian minority, which some estimates put at 10 percent of the population.

Health Ministry spokesman Abdel Rahman estimated there were between 300,000-350,000 pigs in Egypt.

Agriculture Minister Amin Abaza told reporters that farmers would be allowed to sell the pork meat so there would be no need for compensation.

In 2008, following fears over diseases spread by animals, Mubarak ordered all pig and chicken farms moved out of population areas. But the order was never implemented.

Pigs can be found in many places around Muslim world, often raised by religious minorities who can eat pork. But they are banned entirely in some Muslim countries including Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates and Libya.

In Jordan, the government decided Wednesday to shut down the country's five pig farms, involving 800 animals, for violating public health safety regulations.

Look, I'm not going to condone the slaughter of 350,000 pigs, but if you're a country, and you read this blog for all of your truths, and you're really, really scared of the Animal Uprising 2012 (as you damn well should be), then I can understand this reaction. Knee jerk as it may be, for those terrified and motivated to sustain the human race in the face of our impending doom, this is, somewhat, kind of, sort of, understandable ... in a roundabout fashion ... maybe ...

WTF England ???

A postman has spoken of his shock at being bitten by a snake which was hidden inside a pillar box.

Alan Wakley put his hand in to empty the box at Brean Cove, Somerset, and was bitten by an adder, which he then threw off into the nearby long grass.

The 58-year-old, from Berrow, Somerset, who suffered a puncture wound to the back of his hand, simply sucked the poison from the wound and chose not to attend hospital.

Man, Snakes in England don't screw around ... no hands, no feet ... no problem!

"I'm just going to hide in this box and wait and ... what? You've taped up the box and warned people of my evil plan to destroy humanity? ... Damnit ... "

Crocs in India

KENDRAPARA, April 30: In the latest outbreak of man-animal conflict, preying estuarine crocodiles have killed a 35-year-old woman and attacked at least four people in and around the Bhitarkanika wildlife sanctuary.
It’s pertinent to note here that two adult crocodiles were killed in retaliatory attack by the locals since past two months.
An adult crocodile pounced on 35-year-old Mrs Rangalata Pati near a creek in Dangmal village killing her instantly.
Four people including a woman were wounded in Iswarpur, Dangmal and Talchua villages under Rajnagar tehsil as crocodiles straying into village water bodies pounced on them. The injured who sustained multiple wounds are stated to be out of danger, according to Rajnagar block headquarters hospital sources.
There are official reports of saltwater crocodiles from the Bhitarkanika wildlife sanctuary straying into the Petashala and Kharasrota rivers.
With the breeding season of crocodiles fast approaching, they have turned restive and perturbed over human interference into their habitat.
The residents of Gobardhanpur, Naranpur, Arakhadiha, Rajeswarinagar, Chandibaunsamula, Padmanavapur, Iswarpur, Sanagoji, Okilapala and a dozen other seaside villages are thoroughly exposed to possible attack by these crocodiles and accordingly the local sarpanchs and GP representatives have been instructed to alert the villagers, forest department sources said.

Its kind of a large reptilian killer themed kind of day apparently ... what I want to know is, of the other four people attacked, how in the hell did they survive?

India is fast becoming another epicenter of the Animal Uprising 2012 ... I mean, animals over there just don't joke around ...roving packs of child eating dogs, Elephants, and now Crocodiles ... its like Australia without the sharks, add a side of elephant, and throw in an extra tiger for good measure ...

Possibly the Awesomest Story of the Month ...

A routine traffic stop was anything but ordinary for a Texas state trooper Sunday, when he discovered a wild passenger in the back of a suspect’s car.

Texas Highway Patrol officer Steven Stanfield stopped William Johnson, 30, along State Highway 35 after Johnson made a U-turn and almost hit another vehicle, MyFOXHouston reported. It was then that Stanfield noticed an alligator in the back seat of Johnson’s blue Buick, with no restraints on it.

Johnson passed a sobriety test, although Stanfield said he smelled alcohol on his breath, and claimed he was lost. Stanfield called a Brazoria County sergeant and a Texas game warden to the scene, where they learned Johnson had followed the alligator into a ditch and wrestled it into the back of his car.

Johnson also is accused of attempting to steal his boss’ large-screen television on the same night. The plot allegedly was foiled when his accomplice saw the alligator in Johnson’s car and dropped the TV, damaging it, MyFOXHouston reported.

Johnson is in the custody of Brazoria, Texas, police while the alligator is in the custody of the Texas game warden.

The sequence of events for this Animal Uprising Incident is fascinating. Apparently, this is another example of animals developing their mind control prowess.

-Guy Stops to pick up the alligator

-Guy puts the gator in the back seat

-Guy goes to steal a big screen TV

-Guy gets caught ...

CONCLUSION ... The Gator needed a new TV, but due to his lack of ability to walk upright, he employed a vagrant to obtain the TV for him ...

Gators Say 'Buy American!'

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., April 29 (UPI) -- A woman browsing cars at a Florida dealership discovered an 8-foot-7-inch alligator next to a vehicle she was planning to test drive, witnesses said.

Michael Chaparro, 24, a salesman at Sun Toyota in New Port Richey, said he called 911 after customer Denise Anderson, 33, spotted the mammoth reptile Tuesday morning near a Toyota Sequoia, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Wednesday.

Chaparro said Pasco County sheriff's deputies cordoned off the area while a professional trapper prodded the animal out from under a car and caught it with a lasso.

The salesman said he asked the trapper if he was planning to release the gator back into the wild.

"And he said, 'Yeah, I'll release it -- into my cooler,'" Chaparro said. "He said he was taking it back to Dade City to eat it."

Mark Lewis, a duty officer with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said captured alligators are "generally disposed" if they measure longer than 4 feet.

Thats right ... stupid Japanese Automakers ... Clearly a bid by gators to force Americans to buy American amidst the wave of negative financial news coming out of US Automakers ...

In other news, we'll look for Chaparro to be devoured by multiple alligators at a later date ...

AU2012 Weekly Dog Attacks ...

Once again, the world is going nuts ...

-SAN JOSE, CA - Two Pits killed a poodle, and a Mastiff/Rott mix bit a man in Northern, CA ... Police are now searching for them ...

-EAST NORTHPORT, NY - A Boxer and a Rott tore up a guy's face, and went after a ShihTzu ...

-NORWICH, Conn - A Mail Carrier was mauled by two pits ... The owner pleads for clemency, stating; "They're puppies." ...

-WINNIPEG, Canada - Two Bulldogs went after some Canadians; the human couple was injured in the ensuing conflict of man vs beast ...

-COLUMBIA, MO - A couple of dogs decided they did not like Wal Mart, or Kohls, and started attacking shoppers in the parking lot of both stores ... the owner said the dogs were just trying to play ...

Hey, at least there's some variety in the types of dogs involved in Animal Uprising this week; normally its just pits.

In unrelated news, our Beagle puppy tried to go after a baby blue jay that was in our yard ... she was very disappointed when I prevented her from finishing the afternoon snack.

Come to think of it, perhaps the Blue Jays were planning to strike us, and the dogs were protecting ... damn it all, why can't dogs speak english ...