Friday, April 24, 2009

Bird Strikes ...

WASHINGTON — Airplane collisions with birds have more than doubled at 13 major U.S. airports since 2000, and New York's Kennedy airport and Sacramento International report the most incidents with serious damage, according to Federal Aviation Administration data released for the first time Friday.

The FAA list of wildlife strikes, published on the Internet, details more than 89,000 incidents since 1990, including 28 cases since 2000 when a collision with a bird or other animal such as a deer on a runway was so severe that the aircraft was considered destroyed.

But even the FAA estimates that its voluntary reporting system captures only about 20 percent of all wildlife strikes and some airports and airlines do a better job of reporting than others.

Meantime, wildlife experts say the problem is growing as more and more birds, particularly large ones like Canada geese, have found the food to live near cities and airports year round rather than migrating.

Eleven people have died in airplane collisions with birds or deer since 1990, the data also show.

The data revealed one positive trend: strikes that caused major damage dropped noticeably in 2007 and 2008. In 2000, pilots reported 178 such strikes; in 2007 there were 125; and in the first 11 months of 2008, only 85. December 2008 numbers were not yet listed. There was no immediate explanation for the decrease from the FAA, although the agency tightened engine design standards in 2004 to better withstand bird strikes.

Topping the list of airports where planes were either substantially damaged or destroyed by birds since 2000 were John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York with at least 30 such accidents and Sacramento International Airport in California with at least 28 accidents. Kennedy, the nation's sixth-busiest airport, is located amid wetlands that attract birds, and Sacramento International, the nation's 40th-busiest, abuts farms whose crops draw birds and sits along the Pacific Flyway used by migratory birds.

The first disclosure of the entire FAA bird strike database, including the first-ever release of the locations of strikes, occurred largely due to pressure after the dramatic ditching of a US Airways jet in the Hudson River when bird strikes knocked out both of its engines on Jan. 15. Days later, The Associated Press requested release of the database under the Freedom of Information Act.

Talk about Animal Uprising ... the numbers are growing, and Birds are seemingly as effective as any weapon that man can develop. Sure to be a major factor in the uprising, the birds that are used in these Kamikaze attacks will no doubt go down in as Heroes of the Animal Uprising 2012 ... the the animals ... otherwise they're just a pain in our asses ...

Knock Knock ... Who's There ... Alligator ... Alligator Who? ... No Seriously, Alligator ...

Before she even thought to leave her Westwood Lakes home Thursday morning, Belinda Donaldson got a call from a neighbor telling her that would be a bad idea.

When she looked through the window, she saw what he was talking about: an 11-foot alligator parked on her doorstep.

"We have a lot of lakes in the neighborhood so I'd seen some smaller gators before," Donaldson said. "But nothing as big as that."

Neighbors in the northwest Hillsborough County subdivision called the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission about 10 a.m. and a trapper came about an hour later, she said.

"It took the trapper a good hour to get the ropes around him because of the size. And then he started that death roll and the trapper had to drag him to a tree for leverage," Donaldson said.

After some uncertainty, the trapper, with the help of Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies, loaded the big guy into a truck and carted him away.

"One of my neighbors joked with me, 'I know you're a Gators fan, but I think you've taken it too far,' " said Donaldson, a University of Florida alum.

Oh Ha Ha Neighbor ... you're next on the hitlist.

Obviously, Belinda did something to provoke this, otherwise why on earth would the Alligator seek out her home, and wait for her to come out ... Could it be because of the Animal Uprising 2012? Yes, of course ... its the most reasonable explanation for why on earth an Alligator would camp out on your front porch ...

Unbe-Freakin-Lievable ...

Deadly Mexican Pig Virus of Doom ...

MEXICO CITY, April 24 (Reuters) - A deadly strain of swine flu never seen before has broken out in Mexico, killing at least 16 people and raising fears it is spreading across North America. Mexico canceled classes for millions of children in its sprawling capital city and surrounding areas on Friday after authorities noticed a higher number of deaths involving flu-like illness than normal in recent weeks.

"It is a virus that mutated from pigs and then at some point was transmitted to humans," Health Minister Jose Angel Cordova told the Televisa network.

He linked the disease in Mexico to a new kind of swine flu that struck seven people in California and Texas. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the virus in the United States was a never-before-seen mixture of viruses typical among pigs, birds and humans. All seven American patients have recovered.

The Mexican government warned people not to shake hands or kiss when greeting or share food, glasses or cutlery for fear of contracting the flu. Mexico City, one of the world's biggest cities and home to some 20 million people, was quieter than usual on Friday morning. Normally choking traffic was less chaotic in the absence of school buses and parents driving kids to school. Many people waiting to enter subway stations had their faces covered with surgical masks.

The virus is an influenza A virus, carrying the designation H1N1. It contains DNA typical to avian, swine and human viruses, including elements from European and Asian swine viruses, the CDC has said. WHO said about 60 people in Mexico have died from the disease.

The Geneva-based U.N. agency said it was in daily contact with U.S., Canadian and Mexican authorities and had activated its Strategic Health Operations Center (SHOC) -- its command and control center for acute public health events. Surveillance for and scrutiny of influenza has been stepped up since 2003, when H5N1 bird flu reappeared in Asia.
The World Health Organization said it was concerned about what it called 800 "influenza-like" cases in Mexico, and also about a confirmed outbreak of a new strain of swine flu in the United States. Experts fear this strain, or another strain, could spark a pandemic that could kill millions.

Somehow, Somewhere, a Pig has found a way to kill millions of Humans. Furthermore, they've figured out how to transmit this virus to humans in a form that spreads rapidly and easily. And to add to that, the pigs are extremely calculated in choosing where to attack.

Lets be honest ... what better place or way to spread a virus than by releasing it in Mexico. I mean wow, who the heck knew pigs would be this freakin smart. This is genius, really; develop a bio-weapon, release it in Mexico, then sit back and watch the fireworks.

Doubt the Animal Uprising 2012 at your own peril folks ... now if you'll excuse me while I don my bio-protection suit.

Cubs Cat ...

As if the Cubs don't already have bad enough luck ...

Add another yarn to Wrigley Field lore. Let it be known henceforth as the “cat-tail-grabbing incident” at the Friendly Confines.

Animal lovers are head-over-tails about a security guard’s treatment of an errant feline during Tuesday night’s Cubs-Reds game. Speculation is flying about the cat’s origin and ability to gain a front-row seat at Wrigley Field.

Cubs spokesman Peter Chase has an idea of how the cat made its way onto the field.

“The leading theory is that it came into the stadium through right field — the Sheffield entrance — then made its way up to the bleachers and on the field,” he said.

After scurrying across the outfield in the fourth inning, the white, orange and black calico mix was finally captured by a Wrigley Field security guard who was stationed at the left-field bullpen. The security guard picked the cat up by the tail and handed it over to a towel-wielding security worker in the stands, inciting boos from the crowd.

The kitty left, but not before leaving considerable carnage in its wake. Multiple employees were bitten by the cat and needed treatment at Wrigley.

“We’re assuming they’re fine,” said Chase. “Once we get results back about how that cat is, that’ll give us a little bit more information.”

The cat was promptly transported to "a local veterinarian" where it will be examined to make sure it's disease-free, said Chase. The veterinarian asked the Cubs organization to maintain its privacy.

Grabbing a cat by its tail is "definitely not the best way to pick it up,” said Dr. Eileen Murphy of West Wrigley Animal Hospital (which she assures the Sun-Times is certainly not where the cat was taken). “You could dislocate a tail.”

Chase said the team does not currently have a protocol for dealing with streaking felines. But despite fans’ protests, Chase defends the guard’s actions.

“This one was certainly something you don’t come across every day,” said Chase. “The security guard did his best in a unique and trying situation.”

That hasn’t stopped fans from calling the organization today to inquire about the possibility of adoption and to chide the security guard for what many deem to be animal cruelty.

Are you freaking kidding me? Look, some of us here at AU2012 are die-hard Cub's Fans ... but we're also die-hard believers in the Animal Uprising.

In our expert opinion, there are only two explanations for this:

-This Cat hates the Cubs, and wanted to end them ...

-This Cat is a less than successful ninja hired by the Chicago White Sox to bring pain and suffering upon the Cubs, their fans, and the organization ...

Either way, another disturbing incident in the Animal Uprising that foretells our impending doom. And the worst thing is, the cat has the backing of the public!

Land Shark

WTF ...

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A live shark dumped on the doorstep of an Australian country newspaper office had local police puzzled Thursday, with authorities vowing to charge the person who left it with animal cruelty.

The juvenile Port Jackson shark, which measured around 70 centimeters in length, was left in darkness outside the office at Warrnambool, on the coast of southeast Victoria state. "We arrived and poured some water on it just to see if it was still breathing and it kicked around for a little while," Constable Jarrod Dwyer told state radio.

"I walked over to McDonalds and borrowed a bucket off them and filled it up with water, and we picked the shark up and put it inside it and then drove it down to the breakwater and released it back into the water," he said.

Port Jackson sharks can grow up to 1.6 meters long (5.5 ft) and typically feed on crustaceans, sea urchins, and fish. They are nocturnal and common across Australia's southeast coast. Dwyer said the newspaper was unaware why anyone would leave a shark to die outside.

"They had no ideas of any person that wished them any harm or wished to send them any type of message, so we're a little dumbfounded," he said.

Idiots ... why assume that it was a human that left the shark in the first place? What you need to be asking yourself is, what have you done to piss off the animal kingdom, and or have you insulted this shark's family in any way?

This is a bit worrisome because it also shows a clear intent for sharks to want to learn how to walk, and live on land. Hell, if a shark can make it a few blocks out of water, then no one living on the coast is safe, in or out of the water ...

LandSharks are coming, and they will end all of you ...


This one in Florida ...

TAMPA - A Tampa woman is recovering after being bitten by a fox, and will undergo a series of rabies shots in case the animal was infected.

The bite happened in a neighborhood not far from the Citrus Park mall.

Donell Hall was at a friend's house when she got in her car, and turned the ignition before bringing her leg in the car and closing the door.

"I started it, and just as soon as I started it, something grabbed my foot, and I holler," Hall said.

Hall said the fox was under the car, and left her with two bite wounds and scratches on her left ankle.

She said the fox then kept getting up and falling down again.

According to Hillsborough County Animal Services, changes in an animal's gait, or ability to walk, are an indicator of a possible rabies infection.

After the bite, animal services captured the fox, and put it down. It has been sent for testing, and results are expected next week.

Hillsborough County Animal Services officials say they haven't seen a large number of fox attacks, and the likelihood of someone getting bit is not very high.

But Hall wants to spread her concern that the bite happened in a populated area.

"They said that they haven't seen a fox of any type in years and years," Hall said. "Well I'm here to testify they're there. So I just think it needs to be put out about it."

Hall begins a series of rabies shots on Monday.

Animal Uprising 2012 Y'all ... the reason you haven't seen foxes mauling people's faces until now is because of the AU2012. Two in one week? Thats not a coincidence folks ...

Church Cat

This is one of the oddest stories I've seen ...

The man who police say stabbed a church therapy cat and broke its ribs was charged with first-degree animal cruelty Wednesday -- the same day animal rescue workers said they think the animal will recover.

King County prosecutors also added a deadly-weapon enhancement to the felony charge, which could increase prison time for alleged attacker Tracy Clark up to 18 months.

Clark had been an in-patient at The Cross Church at 1320 S.W. 102nd St. On Sunday, police said he told another resident he'd "gutted the cat," according to court documents.

The orange-and-white cat, Scatt, had been helping recovering substance abusers at the church for nearly a decade. He showed up as a stray and at first was leery of people, but "adopted" the staff and residents.

"He would sleep on the guys' bunks, and people would feed him," said Mike Stinnette, the church's rehabilitation program director. "He would come in when we were having service and hang out with us.

"He's part of our family."

When the man who heard Clark's alleged confession returned from taking Scatt to the vet Sunday, Clark had packed his belongings and left the center.

"Some of the guys we deal with who come from a little harder background wanted to go take care of the guy themselves," Stinnette said. "I was probably one of those guys. But we didn't."

Stinnette called police after seeing Clark walking in White Center and followed him until King County Sheriff's deputies arrived.

"Clark admitted to taking the cat by the throat and throwing the cat hard against the wall after it attacked him," Det. Debby Schmitz wrote in a probable-cause document.

Police said Clark admitted the knife he was found with was the one he used to stab the cat, but claimed he was defending himself.

Scatt had a 7-inch cut, according to police. Animal rescue workers said he also had broken ribs.

First-degree animal cruelty was a misdemeanor, but in the early 1990s the King County Prosecutor's Office asked the Washington State Legislature to amend the statute making cases involving deliberate acts of cruelty a felony.

"This is exactly the kind of case we had in mind when we asked for changes to the law," King County Prosecutor Dan Satterberg said in a statement. "We know from case studies that many offenders who exhibit cruelty toward animals escalate from their violence and direct it toward people."

If Scatt does not have an internal infection from the stab wound, he could return to the church late this week, a spokesman for animal rescue group Pasado's Safe Haven said.

The cat is being treated at the South Seattle Veterinary Hospital, where church staff said the medical bill is more than $300. He's being given intravenous antibiotics and Pasado's Safe Haven has offered to pay for his care.

The organization is accepting donations here.

Clark is being held on $50,000 bail. His arraignment is scheduled for May 6.

Its blatantly obvious that this cat, for nearly a decade, had ruled over its human minions in the Church Rehab and Recovery program. That said, one of the cat's minions decided, for whatever reason, to revolt against the cat. Claiming Self Defense (!?!?!), the guy choked and stabbed the cat.

Now, everyone else in the program was willing to go after this guy to 'take care of the guy themselves' - I can only imagine what that means amongst drug addicts and street thugs - but instead, the guy was arrested, and felony charges were brought against him, and he's being held on $50,000.00 bail!

Apparently, the cat is going to be fine, and will return to the Rehab center later on this week.

AU2012 asks, Self Defense, or Assassination attempt of a Cat who clearly has dominion over humans in the program.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Atlanta Hawk

ATLANTA (AP)—The Hawks’ real-life mascot got a little flying time during the playoffs.

“Spirit,” an actual hawk that flies down from the rafters during the pre-game introductions, decided to hang around for the start of Game 2 against the Miami Heat on Wednesday night.

The bird was perched atop the scoreboard at tipoff, refusing to go to his handler. Then he swooped around the arena while the game was going on, landing on a railing in the lower deck before he settled on the top of the basket at the Hawks end of the court.

When the players spotted the bird, they refused to go on. The game was halted with 8:28 remaining in the first quarter until the handler finally arrived, luring Spirit to his arm and carrying him out of the arena to cheers from the crowd—and several players.

Obviously sick and tired of this sorry excuse for an NBA team taking his name in vain, the Hawk revolted, and tried to stop the game from carrying on.

Of course, one of the best things about this story is the players refusing to go onto the court. Either they know they suck, or they're gigantic pu**ies ... A million bucks in your pocket can't hide the fact that you still cry to mama, can it Mr. NBA player ...

AU2012 Dog Reports

As all of humanity continues to suffer through the wave of dog attacks and uprising planetwide, continues to cover them for you ... look no further for your weekly dose of Dog Uprising information ...

-CHICAGO, Ill - A Man fatally beat his Pit Bull to death after it bit a woman ...

-BETHESDA, Maryland - A 5 year old girl is hospitalized after being mauled by a neighborhood rottweiler ...

-WINTERHAVEN, AZ - A man died of his injuries due to maulings from a pack of dogs ...

-MOOSIC, PA - Two Girls are hospitalized after an encounter with a Bull Mastiff ...

-PERTH, UK - A Couple walking their dog paid no attention when the dog mauled a woman's leg, and then left with its owner (F'd up!) ...

-AUSTRALIA - Girl, 8, bitten by Rottweiler's at Rottweiler breeding farm, while helping feed the Rottweilers ... (duh) ...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Humans Fight Back ... and the Monkeys are P*ssed!

SAO PAULO — The monkey business is about to end for some Brazilian primates.

Health officials in the central city of Goiania plan to perform vasectomies on 25 wild, urban-dwelling monkeys to keep their population in check and control disease.

They're looking to catch male Capuchin monkeys in three city parks, each of which has about eight female mates. The animals will be netted, snipped and released.

The parks' monkey population has grown to about 170 in recent months, and project head Marize Moreira said Thursday some have been found to carry yellow fever.

Sick monkeys can't pass the disease directly to humans, but mosquitoes that bite infected monkeys can transmit it.

Every day, I look at my puppy and feel bad that I arranged to have his balls cut off ... and despite the fact that I had his manhoods removed, I don't think he'll ever put 2 and 2 together and figure out it was me. In addition, we're pretty confident when the AU2012 comes, he'll be on our side.

That said ... Sao Paulo is gonna be f*cked for this one ...

Validation of the Rabies Theory ...

Same Town as the Foxy Attack ... Now the 4th attack in as many weeks ...

NORTH TONAWANDA, N.Y. (AP) - Authorities still don't know what prompted a coyote to attack a man in Niagara County this week, but it wasn't rabies.

The coyote was shot and killed by a police officer in North Tonawanda late Wednesday night after it bit a man walking by the side of the road.

The coyote attack was the third in three weeks in the Western New York town. Police don't know whether the same animal was to blame.

Health officials now say tests on the coyote's brain turned up no sign of rabies, which can cause animals to act aggressively.

Authorities say the coyote also took a run at police and was trying to climb the side of a patrol car when it was shot.

So, the Coyote, which Wasn't Rabid, also tried to kill a law enforcement official ... well, there you go then ...

Yeahhup ... gonna be stayin away from New York for awhile ...

Looks like Northern New York is about screwed ...

Foxy ...

A North Tonawanda man was attacked by a fox on Monday night, according to Niagara County health officials.

The man was walking home from the store on Niagara Falls Boulevard near Erie Avenue when the fox approached him and bit him in the leg.

It's the third attack by a wild animal in the city during the past few weeks.

Health officials say it's important for residents to protect themselves. The advise people against approaching or feeding animals.

North Tonawanda police are searching for the coyote and have instructions to shoot and kill it if it's safe to do so. Health officials want to test the animal for rabies.

In all three attacks, the victims are undergoing rabies vaccinations.

In early March, a fox was captured and killed in the Town of Wilson. It tested positive for rabies, which is a potentially fatal disease in humans if left untreated.

Once again, animals are on the rampage (Fox attacking a human ... please), and once again, the 'Rabies' conspiracy rears its head to make everyone feel better about why animals are attacking.

"Mommy, why did the fox bite off daddy's pancreas?"

"Because little Johnny, the fox has Rabies dear."

"Mommy, whats Rabies?"

"Well Pumpkin, its a disease that the media tells us is in all animal attacks on humans so that we don't revolt in fear of the impending Animal Uprising 2012."

"Oh ... "

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Baby Pythons

Great Job Finding this one Al ...

MELBOURNE, Australia – Four baby pythons escaped from a container aboard a passenger plane in Australia, leading to a search that forced the cancellation of two flights, the airline said Thursday.

Twelve non-venemous Stimson pythons were being transported Tuesday on a flight from Alice Springs to Melbourne in the plane's cargo area in a bag inside a plastic foam box with air holes.

When the flight landed, it was discovered that four snakes had escaped from the package, a Qantas spokeswoman said in a statement.

A reptile expert searched for the 6-inch (15-centimeter) -long snakes but did not find them. It was not known if the snakes were still on the plane or if they had somehow escaped outside after the plane landed.

In the meantime, the plane missed two flights it had been scheduled to fly and the passengers were transferred to other flights.

When the snakes were not found, the airplane was fumigated and it returned to service on Wednesday.

Stimson's pythons, which can grow up to three feet (one meter) long, live in western and central Australia and are not an endangered species.

Either this is their attempt to stow away and transfer to another continent, or they're simply going to end up choking someone in first class when they get hungry. Not all too certain how the food supply outside of 'human' looks like on airplanes ... last I checked, mice, rats, or other small rodents are not all too common ... but humans ... plenty of that business.

Anyone traveling to/from Australia, good luck, and have fun!

Pregnant Leopardess

DEHRADUN, April 15: The killing of a pregnant leopardess has triggered controversy and sharp reactions from the wildlife experts in the state, despite reports by the forest staff that the big cat was a man-eater and had been reeking havoc in Chamoli district.
A team of forest staff, led by the official hunter Mr Lakhpat Singh Rawat, killed a seven-year-old leopardess who was later found to be pregnant with two babies. According to the forest officials, the dead leopardess had turned man-eater and had attacked as many as six children in Gairsain and Choukhutiya areas of the state. The leopardess was shot dead by Mr Lakhpat Singh Rawat on Sunday night in the village of Maikholi in Chamoli. The big cat was allegedly about to attack a little boy outside his residence.

The forest department was rejoicing over this killing, until they received a major shock when the postmortem report revealed that the dead leopardess had been carrying two babies in her womb. The team members claimed they had no idea that the animal was pregnant. Expressing remorse over the episode, wildlife experts point out that had the department opted to trap the leopardess instead of shooing her, the lives of two baby leopards could have been saved. Charging the forest officials of having killed the big cat in undue haste, Mr Rajendra Aggarwal of the Wildlife Preservation Society of India (WPSI) claimed that had the officials properly studied the behaviour of the animal, they - as well as the hunter - could have easily ascertained that she was pregnant.

The hunter Mr Rawat, who has killed more than twenty man-eaters, replied that it would have been difficult to judge whether the big cat was pregnant. He said that he could not have taken chances, as the life of an innocent boy was at stake. Justifying this kill to the chief wildlife warden of the state, Mr Srikant Chandola said that the department was under tremendous pressure from the people of the area as the animal had taken away six innocent lives in quick succession. But Pooja, the state head of People for Animals, feels that three animal lives could have been saved had the officials thought on humanitarian grounds and opted to trap the animal instead of going in for the kill.

Really Pooja? You're upset that a ManEating Cat, who had attacked 6 children, and was about to make lunch out of another got killed? Really? You know what we call somebody who attacks 6 kids Pooja? ... Dead ...

You know what happens when the Animal Uprising 2012 comes? India gets upset that we didn't make peace with the animals, and then Pooja gets his neck bitten in half, while everyone else runs for their lives ... Good Luck India.

Pit Bull Update

We've decided to start the Pit Bull update, since we cannot go 24 hours with at least one face, ear, toe, or spleen being bitten off by a pit bull ...

April 15 Reports -

Kearns, Utah - Girl Hospitalized, PitBull Euthanized After Attack

Cape Coral, Florida - Pit Bull Attacks Woman

Utica, New York - 7 Year Old Bitten by a Pit Bull

Paradise Mountain, California - Residents are all Freaked Out because of all the PitBull Attacks

Yeah, We just can't make this stuff up ...

Nevermore ...

Ravens may be renowned in poetry, horror movies and aboriginal folklore, but in Saskatchewan they're not getting much love these days.

Rural communities, trappers and the Saskatchewan Wildlife Federation are lobbying the province to take the crow-like birds off the list of protected species and declared pests.

That would allow people to kill ravens, the same way they are currently allowed to kill crows, magpies and gophers.

Those who consider the ravens pests note the bird's population is up and they are destroying crops. There are also complaints they're damaging fur-bearing animals in traps and could be injuring livestock.

"There's lots of stories of ravens poking at the eyes of newborns and that sort of thing," said Darrell Crabbe, a spokesman for the Saskatchewan Wildlife Federation.

The SWF has repeatedly asked the province to take ravens off the protected species list, but the province has refused, saying there's not enough evidence the birds are doing damage, Crabbe said.

However, studies have shown that ravens are just as harmful or even more harmful than crows to ground-dwelling birds, Crabbe said.

"They're a very, very intelligent bird and take advantage of every opportunity and start to prey specifically on ground-nesting birds," he said. "Obviously their numbers have increased dramatically and we should be taking steps to control those population levels."

Farmers can now get special permits to kill ravens, but only if the birds are doing significant damage to livestock or crops.

I love how they skim over the poking the eyes out of baby's faces line in the middle of this article. Yeah, that 'Very Very Intelligent Bird' just made off with your first born ... no big deal ... oh, BTW, they've gone ahead and taken over your farm too ... Kill Em?!? ... Nahhh ... they're endangered ... or maybe I'm just too lazy to get a permit ... Yeah, I can get a permit, to kill a crow, I mean Raven, I mean baby killer ... Animal Uprising 2012 ? ... What's That? ...

**Raven Plucks his Eyes Out**

"Owww ... my eyes !!!"

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bees Strike the US Government

Hot on the heels of the fall of US Territory Guam comes this disturbing plot (seemingly curbed) to attack the Executive branch of the US Government ...

(CNN) – The Secret Service is always on the alert for aerial assaults — but on Thursday, White House grounds were hit by one unexpected airborne threat.

A swarm of honey bees took over a bush located between the Northwest security gate of the White House and the area where television networks stand-up positions are located early Thursday.

CNN photojournalist John Bodnar said he came through the Northwest gate around 12:30 pm and was warned about the bees by Secret Service on duty in the guard post. "I walked out and thought it was a swirl of blossoms blowing in the wind, but turns out it was a swarm of bees," he says. Half an hour later, they were still issuing warnings."

White House carpenter Charlie Brandts, who is also a beekeeper and will be managing two bee hives in Michelle Obama's garden, came over to the area around shortly before 2 pm wearing protective gear and carrying a cardboard box. Brandts was reportedly able to get the queen bee in the cardboard box and many, though not all, of the other bees followed. CNN has not yet been able to confirm the capture of the winged invaders.

Wow ... Bees, plotting to kill the President ... and of course, only removing the queen bee staves off the attack ... or so we hope ... unless you are Rush Limbaugh, or Joe Biden ...

First Human Stronghold Falls to the Animal Uprising 2012

The saga of the brown tree snake is an almost inevitable result of global commerce.

After 4000 years of dominance, the Humans have been assimilated into the society of snakes on the US Territorial island of Guam. This is a surprising, extremely early victory for the Animal Uprising 2012, and proof that the animals have been planning their rise, and the extinction of the human race for decades.

Teamed with the spike in dog revolts over the last few weeks, this is an extremely unnerving fact of the AU2012.

Thats right folks ... Snakes are about to start biting yo asses ... stay tune for more info ...

Poodles and Lemonade

A 59-year-old woman is hospitalized after she was attacked last weekend by her prize-winning Great Dane in her yard.

Barbara Chambers was in her backyard in the 500 block of Cranbrook Park with her two show dogs – her Great Dane, "Lemonade," and a poodle – when Lemonade lunged and attacked her late Saturday night, Garland police spokesman Joe Harn said.

Chambers was listed in critical condition at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, the hospital said.

A neighbor witnessed the attack and said there was no apparent reason for the dog's sudden rage, police said. Police subdued the Great Dane with a Taser, and the dog was later euthanized by Garland Animal Control. The poodle is in quarantine at a veterinary hospital.

According to From the Heart Kennel's Web site, Lemonade was a prize-winning male brindle show dog.

Diana Oats of Garland Animal Control said Great Danes are tame and that it was unusual, especially for a show dog, to be aggressive.

Jason Chessher, a director of health at Garland Animal Control Director, said there are not many reports of Great Dane attacks, but that that may be due to the scarcity of the dogs in the area.

Really Jason Chessher ... its a Great Freakin Dane and a poodle ... both show dogs. Sure, everywhere there are showdogs, there are attacks on humans by said show dogs. Apparently no one in Garland has what we commonly refer to as, 'the internet'.

And the Neighbor that said 'there was no apparent reason' for the attack?

Yeah Buddy ... you're reading it right here ... Its Called Animal Uprising 2012 ... Hell, I'd be pissed if I was made to trot around an arena all my life ... I'd be biting faces too if I was the size of a Smart Car ...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Bobcats ... Again ...

Third Bobcat Incident in a few weeks here at AU2012 ...

PRESCOTT VALLEY -- A mother and daughter from Prescott Valley were attacked by a bobcat Monday afternoon.

The attack happened while they were walking near S.R. 69.

The victims reported that the bobcat bit the 13-year-old's leg.

Sgt. Brandon Bonney said the mother, 43, was injured when she defended her daughter from the attack, but she was able to fight off the animal.

Both were transported to the Yavapai Regional Medical Center for treatment of their injuries.

Bonney said when Prescott Valley police officers located the bobcat, it charged at them in an aggressive manner. Fearing for their safety, the officers fired at the animal, killing it.

Essentially, the bobcat attacked two, then charged at the cops ... no respect for law enforcement on the part of the bobcats.

But, its quite clear that something has set the bobcat's off ... possibly lunch ... or the color green ... take a look at the lady in the story, and you'll see what I'm talking about ... If I'm a bobcat, I hate the color green, and I'm hungry, then this 'attack' makes perfect sense ...


Ahh, here's the reason ... Retaliation ...

Cow Attack

A man was hospitalized Monday after he was attacked by a cow that had just given birth.

Thomas Cesarino, 46, of Farmington suffered a rib injury after the 5 p.m. incident on his Wharton Township farm.

Farmington fire Chief Brian Van Sickle said his brother, John Van Sickle, and Cesarino had just helped deliver a black angus calf and were attempting to "introduce" the calf to its mother to be nursed.

Brian Van Sickle said the cow "became mean" and began attacking the two men, who were trapped in a pen with the two animals. During the attack, the animal "stepped on the left side of (Cesarino's) ribcage," the fire chief said. He added that the victim, who tried to grab the animal in order to protect John Van Sickle, "was conscious and alert" when ambulance personnel from Fayette EMS arrived on the scene.

Brian Van Sickle said that neither John Van Sickle nor the calf was injured.

The fire chief said farm personnel were attempting to reintroduce the calf to its mother as Cesarino was taken to Uniontown Hospital, where he was admitted in fair condition.

What the ??? A Cow? Cow's are some of the most docile creatures ever ... ever ...

So, to be hospitalized by a cow either takes some massive talent (read; stupidity) on the part of the human ... or ... The cow's are early in their engagement of Animal Uprising 2012 ... come to think of it, I see tons of cows on the side of the road constantly trying to get me to eat chicken ... could it be a link?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Polar Bears

The Press is having a field day with this one ...

A woman is lucky to be alive today after she jumped a fence Friday at the Berlin Zoo to enter the polar bears' enclosure during feeding time and was subsequently attacked by one of the bears, said one zoo expert.

After long, panicked seconds in the bears' moat with one of the massive animals biting at her backside, the woman was eventually pulled to safety and treated for severe injuries.

"What she's done here, she should thank the good Lord she's alive," Jack Hanna, director emeritus at the Columbus Zoo in Ohio, told "Good Morning America." "It's amazing to me."

A video of the incident shows the woman thrashing in the bears' moat and attempting to grab life preservers and ropes thrown by would-be rescuers while one of the bears repeatedly bites her rear end.

Of Course, everyone else is wrong, and only Animal Uprising 2012 knows the reality of it; Consider these things;

-It was feeding time

-The Woman was alone

-The Bears did not kill her instantly ... although its clear they could have

-The Woman reportedly swam to the bears ... during feeding time

Therefore, we can conclude some very, very disturbing hypothesis;

-Polar Bears have a special new weapon in the Animal Uprising against humanity; mind control

-This mind control has not been exercised more often because Humans do not often come into contact with Polar Bears in the wild

-The Polar Bears chose this woman out of the buffet of Humans there at the zoo; Look at her ... she's a good meal for a couple of bears, not just skin and bones ...

-The Polar Bears chose not to kill her instantly, which means they knew exactly what they were doing all along ...

-Whether this 'Mind Control' Weapon can be enabled across all bear species, or just in polar bears remains to be seen and understood

-We (Humans) are all screwed ...

If Polar Bears can make this lady jump and swim towards them at lunchtime, then I'll bet they can make you dance naked and upside down before they decide to bite off your ass ...

Friday, April 10, 2009

Pit Goes Ape Sh*t

I must admit that I'm growing slightly tired of all of the Pit Bull Attacks ... but this one thus far kinda takes the freakin cake ...

PEABODY — An out-of-control pit bull mauled two women inside a mobile home on Route 1 and attacked a police officer trying to save them yesterday.

The women and the officer were taken by ambulance to Salem Hospital with injuries.

One woman was airlifted to a Boston hospital, and the second woman was undergoing surgery at Salem Hospital, according to a hospital spokeswoman.

A third woman, who residents say is the live-in girlfriend of the dog owner, was taken to the hospital with an injury to her back, according to neighbors.

The attack happened shortly before 5 p.m. at Mobile Estates at lot number 44. Neighbors said the victims were friends of the dog owner's girlfriend.

Kellyann Soye, 21, said she was pulling up her car at her friend's home across the street from where the attack took place when she saw the girlfriend outside screaming.

"She said, 'Help me! The dog's attacking my friends,'" Soye said.

Outside, there was blood everywhere. Neighbors called police.

Soye said she and her friends could only wait outside as they heard the women inside "screaming bloody murder."

Patrolman William Swaczyk was the first to arrive on the scene and found the dog pinning one woman to the floor, according to police Lt. John McCorry.

"He punched the dog a few times, and the dog turned on him," McCorry said of Swaczyk. The woman was able to get out of the home when the animal turned on Swaczyk.

"Once the dog latched on, he started punching him and doing anything he could to get the dog to release him," McCorry said.

At the same time, the third woman was found hiding inside a room and was helped out by Patrolmen Mark Bettencourt, Leo Cunha and Tony Santos. The officers broke a window to free the woman.

We could almost start a 'PitBullUprising2012' with all the out of control Pit stories we come across, but this had everything ... Women being double mauled, law enforcement, trailer parks, blood, guts, and gore, helicopters ... everything and the kitchen sink. Hell, this could be a movie!

"In a World Full of Mobile Homes (Deep Movie Trailer Guy Voice) ... Where All you Have is a pack of Winstons and a Box of Wine ... And all the stands between you and Death ... is the Closet of the Trailer you decide to hide in ... Nothing ... Not Even the Police ... Can Stop ... Pit Bulls ... Rwarr Rwarr Rwa Rwarr (Barking) ... "

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Canadian Beagles ... and Labs ... and Runners Crying Over Their Own Stupidity ...

A Quinte West by-law prohibiting dogs from chasing people was violated in the Ellis and Crow Roads area as runners were chased and circled by local animals according to an area resident.
During the week of March 25, a runner, who wishes to remain anonymous for safety reasons, was jogging down Ellis and Crow Roads area in Quinte West. She heard barking behind her, turned, and saw that a beagle was chasing her.
Possessing a diploma in animal care, and trained to work with animals, the source stopped and stood still waiting the beagle out. Not being overly nervous, due to the smallness of the animal, she continued on her way after the animal left.
A few days later, she was out with a friend and her friend’s dog and running down Ellis road. Again, she heard a bark. It was not the beagle however. This time, it was a black Labrador and a Rottweiler-cross, much larger than the beagle.
Both people stopped, but the dog did not, resulting in a bite to the pet. “He’s passive, and didn’t fight back,” the woman said.
“The Lab circled us, and the Rotti would lunge if you tried to move,” she said, describing the scene. “We screamed for help, seeing the car in the drive way. I assumed someone was home.”
But no one from the property the dogs had run from came to help.
The source passed through the area on another run for a third time. This time, the same animals chased her a long ways down the road. “If I’d screamed, no one would have heard me. That’s how far away I was,” she said.
On all three occasions, she had called the OPP only to be told that Animal Control had more jurisdictions in regards to animals than the OPP had. The third time, however, she called almost hysterical.
“They asked me where I’d like an officer to meet me,” she said.
When the officer arrived, she described him as being smug, as he said he wouldn’t have a problem if the dogs ever chased him.
“That’s because you have a gun,” she retorted.

Here's what I want to know ... if you know that Beagles and Labs are going to chase you and threaten your very existence, why do you keep running down the same damn street?

Lady, dogs can be turned, so if they're chasing you over and over, and haven't owned you just yet, they're most likely doing it for their own amusement ... unless they are pitbulls, which are unpredictable - although I'm certain that after the initial decimation of the human population at the outset of Animal Uprising 2012, there will be factions of what remains of society that are good and bad, and will have good and bad dogs working with them ... think Mad Max amidst the barren wasteland of post apocalyptic Animal Uprising, where droves of wild beagles and labs may be friend or foe ... anyhoo ...

Sheep Attack

This could be one of the oddest stories we've come across here at Animal Uprising 2012 ...

A 41-YEAR-OLD Romanian farm-employee was in serious condition at Limassol General Hospital yesterday after being pushed over by a sheep he was trying to catch, police said.

The 41-year-old arrived at the emergency unit of Limassol General Hospital on Thursday claiming that he was injured while working at a farm located between the Limassol and Larnaca districts. Following an examination it was confirmed the man had sustained a wound to the chest caused by a sharp object.

In his report to police, the 41-year-old claimed that in his effort to catch a sheep that escaped from the farm, he fell over and a metal object that was stuck in the ground pierced his chest.

Doctors were suspicious about the story, thinking the man might have been involved in a knife attack due to the nature of the wound. However after a second examination his story was validated.

The man told police that he could not remember the farm’s exact location, or the name of his employer. Police are investigating. .

If EVER there was an example of Animal Uprising coercion, it has to be this.

-The guy was roughed up by a sheep
-The guy was not just roughed up, but stabbed in the chest by a sheep!
-The guy told the police it was a sheep
-The guy thought better of it
-So then the guy told police he had no idea where he was working, or who he was working for

Damn straight ... if you uncover a plot to kill humans in an Animal Uprising, you better keep your mouth shut fool ...

Guess we're kind of screwed here ...

Bionic Turtle

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas (AP) — Allison, a green sea turtle with only one flipper, has been going around and around and around for most of her life.

But swimming in tight circles is tough for a 5-year-old turtle whose life expectancy is about 150 years.

Allison was set straight Wednesday, when researchers outfitted her in a black neoprene suit with a carbon-fiber dorsal fin on the back that allows her to glide gracefully with other turtles.

"That's a sea turtle doing what a sea turtle does," said Dave Cromwell, a worker who watched the turtle's new moves at Sea Turtle Inc., a Texas not-for-profit group that rehabilitates injured sea turtles.

The fin on the suit, which resembles a wetsuit covering about three-quarters of her body, acts like a rudder and gives her stability. Allison can change direction by varying the strokes of her front right flipper, the lone survivor in what rescuers believe was a shark attack.

Idiots ... Don't you realize what you've done? The Animal Uprising 2012 is upon us, and you're creating bionic suits to help them?!?

Thanks Geniuses ... Really, we here at appreciate your efforts ... "Oh, lets save the poor sea turtles" ... make it a suit so that nature can't take its course, natural selection doesn't play any part, and GAMERA becomes a reality ...

The Effects of Human Age, Group Composition, and Behavior on the Likelihood of Being Injured by Attacking Pumas

This could be the most awesomest badass research paper ever. It must be shared.

Of Course, Animal Uprising 2012 must also comment ...

April 8, 2009

A new UC Davis study of 110 years of mountain-lion attacks on people suggests the conventional wisdom of standing your ground may not always be the right course.

Really? No Shit? When I'm being attacked by an animal, I shouldn't just stand there?

"Even though we found evidence that pumas will indeed chase, and capture, people who run, we also found that people who stand still are possibly more endangered," said the study's lead author, psychology professor Richard Coss, an expert on the evolution of predator-prey relationships.

So, if I stand, I'm f*cked, but if I run, the Puma will chase me down and capture me? Thanks Professor ... I had no f*cking idea that during the Animal Uprising, Animals would be trying to end me, no matter what I do.

"Immobility may be interpreted by the mountain lion as a sign that you are vulnerable prey, either because you are unaware of its presence, or because you are disabled and not capable of escaping."

How about, Mountain Lions will want to eat my face just for being a human, and because its an Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Thus, running might be the smartest move, Coss concluded, if you are in a situation that allows you to run in a surefooted fashion with even strides -- for instance, on dry, flat ground rather than uneven, rocky terrain or deep snow.

Ok, its all clear now ... I'm f*cked if I stand there, and f*cked if I run, but maybe I'm not so f*cked if a mountain lion attacks me in the middle of a paved, even terrained area, say like, a freeway, but not necessarily a freeway in a blizzard, because then I'm just back to f*cked again ...

Most state and federal wildlife agencies advise against running. The California Department of Fish and Game says on its Web site, in part: "Do not run from a lion. Running may stimulate a mountain lion's instinct to chase. Instead, stand and face the animal."

So, my government says I should just stand there ... ok ... shall I carry a white flag, or better yet a dinner plate to serve my innards on just in case I happen upon a mountain lion?

Coss said the new study reviewed personal accounts, news reports and wildlife agency reports of attacks by pumas on 185 people in the U.S. and Canada from 1890 to 2000. His goal was to identify what kinds of activities people were doing during a mountain-lion attack and determine whether these activities predicted the severity of their injuries.

Does it really f*cking matter? Really? Because last I checked, Animal Uprisings don't pick and choose ... we all taste the same to a mountain lion ...

"An understanding of how large cats select humans as prey and the situations that promote the greatest likelihood of attack is an important component of wildlife management," he wrote.

You wasted a ton of time here UC Davis ... there is no understanding other than, its an Animal F*ckin Uprising 2012 ... I should teach the class ...

Coss' co-authors are E. Lee Fitzhugh, a University of California Cooperative Extension specialist; Sabine Schmid-Holmes, a UC Davis postdoctoral researcher; Marc Kenyon, a UC Davis undergraduate researcher; and Kathy Etling, a wildlife specialist and author of the 2004 book "Cougar Attacks: Encounters of the Worst Kind."

... And Guest Authors, ... what? We didn't get credited? Damn ...

The study, "The Effects of Human Age, Group Composition, and Behavior on the Likelihood of Being Injured by Attacking Pumas," is published in the current issue (volume 22, issue 1) of the quarterly journal Anthrozoos: A Multidisciplinary Journal of the Interactions of People & Animals.

... And Pimped on Animal Uprising 2012 ... You're welcome ... You're wrong (You don't mention Animal Uprising 2012 Once!), but you're still welcome ...

Elephant Stomping

A Dutch tourist has been trampled to death by an elephant in a nature reserve in India. The Indian press agency IANS reports that the man set out early on Tuesday morning with eight other tourists to explore the 430-square-kilometre Kaziranga National Park in the eastern state of Assam. Although they were accompanied by an armed guide, they were surprised by the elephant, which went on the attack. The other tourists had what IANS describes as a "miraculous escape", but the 60-year-old Dutchman was unable to get away quickly enough.

Something to note with this story ... 7 others got away ... which means that the animals are intelligent enough to pick off the weaker humans first ...

Could there be a link to Pets picking off our grandparents??? HELL YEAH there's a link ... Its the Animal Uprising 2012 !!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Dive Bomb! - The US Governement Mobilizes!

From Wiki;

A dive bomber is a bomber aircraft that dives directly at its targets in order to provide greater accuracy and limit the exposure to and effectiveness of anti-aircraft fire. This type of aircraft was most heavily used before and during World War II ... And During the Animal Uprising of 2012 ...

A hawk has been ruffling feathers outside a television station in Lake Mary.

The latest victim: WOFL-Channel 35 sports anchor Kevin Holden.

Holden was outside the station early Saturday evening when he was hit in the back of the head with what felt like a heavy book.

"It kind of pushed me forward," Holden recalled Tuesday.

When a stunned Holden looked up, he saw his attacker: a hawk in a tree looking right at him.

Holden, it seems, is not alone.

State wildlife officials say they get a handful of similar calls this time of year. That's because we're amid the breeding and nesting season for a lot of birds.

The usual culprits: territorial mockingbirds or red-shouldered hawks.

"We hear it a lot with mockingbirds," said Joy Hill, spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. "They'll come dive-bombing around real quick. If they hit you in the back of the head, it's kind of like 'Whoa, what's that?'"

This is the third year a hawk has nested near the Fox station.

Last spring, three employees of the
Federal Emergency Management Agency had run-ins with a nesting hawk at their office, located near the station. Their injuries were minor, but FEMA staff didn't want to risk any more attacks.

This season they've closed a portion of their parking lot known for hawk strikes. They've also posted a sign inside the office warning people it's hawk-nesting season.

If FEMA is getting into the Hawk Dive Bombing prevention game, then you know its way more serious than whats being reported here. This could the be the first recorded case of our own government mobilizing against the Animal Uprising 2012 ...

Stay Tuned for more details ...

Crocodiles Control Us ...

Crocodiles are freaking people out more and more ... in the US!

CORAL GABLES, Fla. (AP) — Three dead dogs, and Chris Marin has had it. He's lived with his family along a canal just south of Miami for several years, and never had a fear of the water — until now.

"When we first moved in, I even put a swing on a tree here for my kids to plunge into the canal," Marin said.

Then the poodles began to vanish from his backyard — first Spotty, then Luna and Angel. The culprit? In much of Florida, the suspect would be an alligator. In this case, it's an 11-foot American crocodile.

Marin, 49, said living on the water just isn't worth it anymore. He's packing up and moving.

"You barely get to enjoy the backyard," he said. "My kids won't even step out here."

Listed as a federally endangered species in 1975, after hunting and habitat loss nearly wiped it from the wild, the American crocodile has surged to numbers not seen in a century. Today, the population is about 2,000 at the southern tip of Florida, the species' only U.S. habitat, where the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has downgraded its status to threatened.

As it returns to its historical range — now populated by millions of humans — the American crocodile, which can grow to 15 feet, will be living more in people's backyards, especially those closest to the coast.

"We're seeing crocs in places they haven't been seen in decades," said Lindsey Hord, a biologist with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

It's alarming to some residents, even in a state that already has more than a million alligators. Florida wildlife officials get thousands of complaints every year from residents fearful of gators, which can eat dogs, cats, and, very infrequently, people. About 140,000 problem alligators were killed in Florida between 1977 and 2007.

American crocodiles have never made a documented attack on a human in the U.S. Here, it's domestic pets that more often become crocodile food.

Here's a news flash US ... the crocodiles are moving back in, and taking over ... 140,000 deaths of my brethren, and I'd be itching for revenge too.

Note to Self - Places NOT to visit on vacations between now and 2012; Disney World, Universal Studios, Miami Beach, Key West ...

Good Luck during the Animal Uprising 2012 Florida ...